Is it rocd or just overthinking

I’m not diagnosed with ocd but I feel like I might because I relate to a lot of the relationship posts on here I know I love my boyfriend and I know I can trust him but I get so anxious for no reason I have his location and I can go through his phone without a problem but I get so anxious about being cheated on or him leaving me and it makes me feel like a bad person because I trust him but it feels like something else is telling me like he’s doing something but I have no reason to think that and again I have his location we work at the same place and I’m with him whenever he has off so I don’t get why I do this but it feels like obsession like I stress about upsetting him because I get anxious about upsetting him because it feels like he’s gonna leave me if I do anything to upset him and he’s never done anything to make me feel like this so I don’t get why I overthink like this

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Hi cambriar, it could be either or both. ROCD can have overthinking while overthinking does not require diagnosis of ROCD to start. Either way it has the same idea of fear and taking actions as if there's any influence of preventing cheating. The idea of cheating is that the other person does not know that there's a breach of contact of both people behaving on the same rules during this relationship or activity. They get caught really is because they show their cards from being sloppy or upfront rather than someone having to watch every moment. And if you have to watch every moment for someone to not cheat, would you still want that? It sounds exhausting. Not that you are scouring every rock but ROCD increases the level of trying to detect without actually improving detection skills. It starts placing false evidence and emotions to improve detecting at least something. For any relationship, happiness is on the other side of risk. To make a relationship start and last is knowing you can be cheated on, and it's not on you to find out before it even happens. It's that with the benefit of the doubt until there's some evidence, you detect what good this relationship is. How you feel about them versus how do they make you feel? Because I can feel good about the person who cheated on me all I want but they made me feel bad so it means the relationship is not compatible because their character is shown to be cheating. For yours, if you feel so scared yet they make you feel good, good news you can sit with being scared without needing to do anything. Because feeling scared is your own character (insecurities is the more fitting word) or ROCD. It feels so real because ROCD is an ego trying not to die and trying hard to stay relevant. It's about hearing it out and go "maybe he is and is not cheating" and let the nervous system ooze out the nervousness hidden in the subconscious memories of collecting all these horror stories. Eventually the intensity will lessen and by then you'll be more susceptible to notice if or when there is betrayal, and how to handle whether there is betrayal or not. Right now the body is defaulting "no betrayal? SUSPICIOUS sound the alarms because don't know what else it is or what to do" If there is difficulty doing this, I advise seeking a therapist to help you with ERP as it is hard to have the source of the compulsion be an untrained therapist to hear out your concerns without reassuring you. Because ROCD wants to not believe anyone especially the person it thinks it's going to hurt you, even if they are reassuring and kind. Trust me my ex was a practicing counselor, he said all the right things but it's unethical because emotions feel so strong and bias. Had to get my own therapist to get out of my own head. Also OCD and his own disorders didn't help the relationship but it wasn't what destroyed it either, it was that we had different values later on. So even against actual causations if fears, fear doesn't really do anything besides more suffering. Just let them show who they are, good or bad. Because if it's bad then at least you know not one second longer to leave anyone who cheats on you. Even detectives can't find murderers that easily, its not your job besides being in the present and enjoy the experience. I hope a good life long relationship for you.

cmax20

Date posted: 10w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

marryyyy

Date posted: 4w

is this ocd??

Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)

Relationship OCD

Dev12_

Date posted: 22d

ROCD struggles

My mind won’t let me trust that my boyfriend loves me and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. Honestly idk if this is rocd but recently we’ve been really great and our relationship has been strengthening so much. He gives me no reason to fear him leaving or anything or even cheating. He’s very loyal and has shown that he loves me. But my brain keeps pushing me away and at the smallest things he does I think maybe he doesn’t and I’m scared to fully put my all into him bc I think I’ll get hurt, every time i notice a small thing I don’t like abt him, it worries me and makes the thoughts worse. Basically to sum it up I won’t let myself just trust that he loves me and that we’ll be okay, I keep focusing on the future and what ifs like if we break up or something happens and it’s like I’m trying to protect myself from the future. It’s so stressful and annoying, I can’t predict the future so I just wish my mind would be calm and let me live my mind. No matter what I do I can’t shake off the fear.

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Is it rocd or just overthinking

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