real event weeird shit

18+ so, i just had this memory pop back into my head after suppressing it and now I’m obsessing over it and cant suppress it, it feels so weird that i dont think i can even tell my therapist. so a few years ago, i was high, and laying in bed and my dog was laying in front of my face back to me and i kissed his back like mimicking making out, and dont get me wrong this is not a zocd concern it was not attraction im not worried that i touched him sexually im just really weirded out by that memory like someone gauge how weird and immoral that is for me and like i was not a kid, i was an adult its freaking me out like??? tf i do not know how i manage to suppress shit like this like i didnt think it was weird when i was high and i think i remember waking up spiraling about it and then decided to shut it down bcs i had what felt like bigger ocd shit fish to fry and it just popped back up and im spiraling

dee012

Date posted: 12w

We sound a lot like the same when it comes to our morals and ocd. U know what’s funny I had this same thing happen but with my cat lol😭😭😭😭I was high and remember how my uncle use to give my pets kisses as a kid like it looked like making out but not actually but anyways I did it and then freaked out after but once again moved past it bc ocd gave me bigger fish to fry. I do have zocd and it sucks like it recently spiked up last year I have no idea why but it’s been hell ever since and ofc I felt weird doing it but obviously not that much because I didn’t freak out until after. Idk how to explain it. OCD just takes things and makes them weird. That’s why after ur like oh shit??? Even if u feel weird during, there’s always that spike after that let’s u know ocd just grabbed onto something innocent. Hopefully im making sense. I wish I had better advice

xyzwqr

Date posted: 12w

@dee012 yeah, that makes sense. this last year has also been hell for me. i used to have long periods of extreme relief after a bad false memory or real event episode but after my last big one like a year ago, its been one after the other

it's just a ...

Date posted: 12w

Hey so sorry you're going through this right now. OCD is incredibly adaptive and opportunistic and can latch onto anything and everything it wants to. All OCD knows is that this is a thought that is distressing to you in this moment. Doesn't matter what the thought is; OCD is going to keep you ruminating on it, keep sending you danger signals, keep demanding certainty and reassurance. You may feel like you have "bigger ocd shit fish to fry" but OCD is going to go with whatever works in the moment. Look at it this way: For you, this is some really weird shit to be fixated on. For OCD, this is just a Thursday. Are you currently working with an OCD therapist and doing ERP? Do you have some techniques you've used successfully to help deal with other themes that have come up? I think you probably already know that the ultimate goal is not to suppress these thoughts but to be able to sit with them (and the anxiety that they can bring on), accept the uncertainty, and live in the wisdom that these truly are just thoughts.

xyzwqr

Date posted: 12w

@it's just that i dont care about feeling better is the problem, im very stubborn in my morals and i only care about how shitty the things ive done are, i feel like i need to punish myself im not going to do the things to get better because i dont care about that im not the victim

it's just a ...

Date posted: 12w

@xyzwqr - We hold ourselves to much higher standards than we would hold most anyone else. I think this is true for just about everyone walking this earth, but especially for those of us with OCD. Just one thing I would ask you to think about, if your best friend came to you and told you "I think I did terrible thing X" or "I'm sure I did terrible thing Y", do you think you would tell them that they just have to torture themselves about it? That beating themselves up about these things would be their best and only course of action? I doubt that you would, because we tend to have much more grace and understanding for others than we do for ourselves.

dee012

Date posted: 24w

nsfw question

tw// 18+ please help Mention of self intimacy ok so during self intimacy time, there’s this memory of when I was intimate with a friend of mine. I get off / fantasize about it but what makes me feel weird is it happened when me and the other person was a child. i obviously do not try to picture children and sometimes there’s no faces or it’s the face of how the person looks now. but then it makes me feel weird since the memory we were both children at the time. and then sometimes images of how they look as a child come in my head and my brain is like “do you like that or are u attracted to that” but i end up just like cringing or shaking my head and continue thinking about it how i originally was. idk if it’s wrong to fantasize about that since we were both children. ive fantasized about this memory multiple times without issue but it seems to be an issue now.

garebear423

Date posted: 22w

Tw: beastility, sexual assault

I'm worried that I sexual assulted or r*ped my dog when I was 17 and I'm 18 now. This memory, has came up multiple and changes rapidly, it says that I was also saying very disturbing things to the dog, calling her good and weird disgusting things like that. I don't know if I can live with myself if this is true.

emma345

Date posted: 16w

Please help zocd

tw: nsfw 17f I have a real even ocd from a sexual event with an animal (my cat) from where I was younger. Remembering it ruined my life and made it a living hell. It was bad. It's not one of those innocent events people always assume because I have ocd and then they get all surprised when it was actually bad and sexual. (animal wasn't harmed though) So basically I developed I fear of interacting or even looking at animals after I remembered so I was avoiding my cat like crazy, but then I realized that it's cruel to ignore an animal who wants love and attention, so I forced myself to overcome it kinda. I basically downloaded a habit tracker where I mark when I was able to pet my cat cause while it's triggering I want to give my cat love and I'm trying to pet her everyday So yesterday I was petting the cat. And she was extremely enthusiastic about it. Like she was almost throwing herself on me to get more pets like kinda agressive at this point to get pets. I started thinking how animals go in heat in spring. But she is like sterilized so I wasnt sure its possible for her. Like maybe they are just more active in spring? But what if the pets are somehow sexual for the cat? Then I thought maybe I shouldn't pet her then cause that's wrong. But then I thought like who cares and also then it will be like this the whole spring should I just not touch her the whole spring and ignore her again? I was also tired a bit so I wasn't thinking it all through that much Now I'm freaking out so bad. Like I knew there was a possibility that it was sexual for the cat and still continued petting her I didn't stop. It's so bad. Like I thought its whatever since it's not sexual for me but now I'm freaking out. Like the whole me being a better person and learning on my mistakes after that one earlier event was for nothing if I was able to do something like this I'm freaking out so bad

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real event weeird shit

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