Will I ever be in a relationship that I don't ruin

I ruin every single relationship that I'm in with my OCD I admit every single thing I do even when it really isn't a big deal ,if I don't admit I feel unbearable anxiety and I don't know what to do about it , I'm always on edge worried I've done something wrong always searching my mind and actions for a slip up it's exhausting I keep spiralling wondering if I will ever actually be with someone and be able to have a happy and healthy relationship Please tell me I'm not alone I don't know what else to do

FiddyK

Date posted: 12w

I understand the urge but you don't need to tell a partner everything. Most people don't tell each other everything they think or feel. That is fine. I think communicating to them about OCD and what it is would be the important thing to do. Worrying about ruining every relationship is not going to help. It is only fueling the OCD.

justdiya22

Date posted: 12w

Thank you for your reply and yes your right and I did try to tell them about my OCD but they said I was making it up and they are excuses it was a four year relationship and OCD just made everything so complicated and it was draining both of us I felt like I was being so unfair we decided to let it go and ever since that I've tried to get into relationships and I ruin them before they even get started most of them don't understand the complexity of my OCD and I don't blame them it is a very complicated thing but this all makes me feel so isolated and lonely 😢

FiddyK

Date posted: 12w

@Stupidbrain22 So if a partner is willing to blow off your mental health as an "excuse" then that's not someone to be with. I think jumping into any relationship when you are struggling so much with OCD might not be a good idea. My partner and I just separated with the intent to work on ourselves and then see if we want to continue a relationship. Focus on yourself. Love yourself. Be compassionate towards yourself and you will be better able to manage your OCD. When you feel ready to date again, look for someone who will try to understand what you are going through. They don't need to fully understand, they just need to try. That's a sign of someone that really cares.

justdiya22

Date posted: 12w

@AnonD Thank you for your reply again and I think you're right I should really take time for myself to reflect and just focus on myself and when I feel better I can try then

FiddyK

Date posted: 12w

@Stupidbrain22 Exactly! Don't be in a rush to find someone. The better you love yourself, the better you can love someone else. And the more confident you will be about managing your OCD.

justdiya22

Date posted: 12w

@FiddyK Thank you 😊 I really appreciate your help

niu

Date posted: 12w

Of course you will if you want to. The thing with OCD is not that you need to „solve it” to be bearable and be able to be in a relationship but rather understanding it to a point where you might be able to explain it to somebody without identifying with it too much because at the and of the day OCD is not a result of your feelings but of your fears. And that is something that takes time. Hang on there and keep on being gracious with yourself!

justdiya22

Date posted: 12w

Thank you I really needed to hear that part saying "OCD is not a result of your feelings but of your fears" I really appreciate the reply thank you 😊

Gato0z

Date posted: 22w

Any advice?

I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.

Canes12345!

Date posted: 21w

My life with ocd

I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.

Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 7w

I’m so tired

I’m ruining my relationship, and idk if it’s OCD or if I’m just an awful person. I’m tired of constantly fighting with my boyfriend. but I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t stop picking apart everything they say, I can’t stop being so negative, I can’t stop overthinking and obsessing, I can’t stop feeling like they’re lying or being inconsistent. I constantly ask too many questions to the point where I feel he thinks I’m stupid. I’m starting to feel stupid myself. It seems like I can’t understand basic conversations with my boyfriend anymore unless they’re super black and white. He deserves better. I don’t deserve love. I feel like I’m destroying the one thing that makes me happy. I don’t feel happy with him anymore because we’re constantly fighting. And it’s all my fault. I think I’m just an awful, crazy person

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Will I ever be in a relationship that I don't ruin

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