I feel like I’m going to stop breathing and it makes it seem like an effort just to do it. I just want to be normal again and have my breathing go back to being automatic. Idk how to beat this, I’m constantly worried about it
I’ve been reading this book by James Nestor called Breath. Somehow, subconsciously I think, I’ve been following all of the tips and recommendations about breathing. I used to huff and puff all day long and only get relief, sometimes, when I was asleep. I’ve almost fully retrained myself to breathe through my nose, and haven’t had the worries about breathing that I used to. I hope this helps ease your mind and know that you’re not the only person who has felt like this.
Hiii - I had this theme few weeks ago for a few days and sometimes when i get anxiety it’ll come back for a lil while I’m anxious
I used to have this theme, and I’m so sorry you having to go through this. A pill I had to swallow what accepting that I’m hyper aware of my breathing so it’s going to feel like I can’t breathe at times or it’s going to be uncomfortable in general but relaxing my muscles and not being super tense makes it more bearable eventually your body will be naturally breathing instead of manually breathing, the more you resist the more uncomfortable it is, you have to accept the feelings and move through them. Our brains are very creative and can form problems on its own unfortunately that the Ocd at work.
I was just listening to a podcast on sensorimotor OCD today that might help… https://kimberleyquinlan.libsyn.com/434-sensorimotor-ocd-with-max-maisel
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
i’m so scared im going to lose control and end up locked up or something. this is so exhausting!! i worry that what i have isn’t OCD and that im genuinely insane and im gonna end up in big trouble or that the urges i have are going to actually happen. i dont want to think these things ! i feel like a horrible human being!!
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