I’m trying to let them pass not engage nothing , trying to compusle but the thoughts won’t leave. My brain keeps telling me I should stab my dad for not asking if I’m okay after the death of my ex …
I send my condolences for your ex, please take time to care for yourself in this period of grieving. The best thing to do in situations like this is to not just "let the thoughts pass" as they'll continue to linger if you try to ignore them. Try leaning into Exposure Response Prevention, actively lean into this distressing thoughts, try to accept the possibility and uncertainty that "maybe I could try stabbing my dad later, only time will tell." The more you lean into these thoughts, the less you'll want to act out on your compulsions, and the less you'll try to figure things out.
Have you tried using non-engagement responses? The more I practiced using them, the easier it got to not engage. Examples like you could agree with the thought, "maybe I should stab my dad. Maybe I will." And after agreeing just sitting with that uncertainty. Or saying something like "I am choosing not to engage with this thought. I will redirect my attention to something else" and do something you enjoy or something productive. There are so many non-engagement responses you can try, you can look some up on Google. I hope this helps <3 it won't help immediately but if you practice over time, it will improve ❤️
I’ve been in the same boat before. We just have to accept the fact that they’ll always be there and by learning to recognize them but not engage with them, soon they just blend in the background. I promise it gets better 🩵
It's okay to be angry about that too. The ocd is any compulsion you do to try and rid the thought, and the thought itself may have warped over time (like maybe it didn't start out that way) but just because you have ocd doesn't mean you can't also feel. You get to be angry about it, please do, and can do so in a way that feels better to you (like telling him youre mad or just getting to be angry as much as you want on your own) when youre not dealing with the fears or obsessions of stabbing him (that's where ERP comes in).
I’m sorry for your loss. I also deal with harm ocd but about my husband. The thoughts are constant but it’s the acts we take to not engage in them are what matters. Sometimes I find myself tripped up when the thoughts appear but I remind myself of my true intentions and exposures that have been beneficial for me. Are you doing exposures? One that really helped me and may be extreme if you’re not ready for it or have a willing partner is holding a knife up to the other person, confronting the fear head on. This again is extreme and distressing but can be reached within the hierarchy.
@dslite I did this to my dog before a year ago and haven’t tried since. I’ve held knives before and it kinda helped but right now I’m spiraling and feel I can snap
Anyone else have repeated thoughts that play that are negative. Basically a back and forth of you telling yourself you don't want X to happen but having a thought that slips saying you do. Like being stressed out one day and saying "man I wish I were dead". But instead of letting it roll through your mind and thinking nothing of it, you obsess if you actually want that outcome for yourself and you are now scared you'd fatally harm yourself whenever you feel anxious or stressed even though you know you wouldn't. So now I repeatedly get I wanna die stuck in my head and I feel the compulsive need to say no I don't to combat the thoughts and it happens throughout the day and even when I wake up.
My mom passed Sunday and I didn’t cry when I got the news, I didn’t know how to react. Crazy, I haven’t cried until i started writing this. You see, I was her favorite child growing up I was attached to her hip. Through every rehab, every overdose, I was there. Guess what I’m getting to is the intrusive thoughts are saying I don’t care that she is dead. Also telling me she was a terrible mother. That I am a mess up as an adult because of her. I’m so angry but I miss her so much. I didn’t get to say goodbye. Weeks of trying to reach her and no one would tell me anything because I’m the “sick child”. Why do the intrusive thoughts get to do this? I can’t grieve properly with all this chatter.
i’ve been having harm ocd thoughts for like a week straight. graphic images of hurting my family. i would never ever want to hurt them. i dont think i can do this anymore. they wont go away.
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