Childhood OCD

There were many signs of OCD in my childhood, that funnily enough, I didn’t realize were OCD until later: - I remember thinking I was responsible for the death of a famous actor, because the day before I watched a movie that he was in, therefore “jinxing him” in some way - if I didn’t pray until it felt “right” then my current intrusive thought would come true and it would be my fault - I couldn’t breathe in the same room as someone who was sick, because I thought if I did, the sickness would be “inside of me” - I had to play with each of my dolls in turn for equal amounts of time, otherwise they would get mad and come for me lmao

Me: during childhood I had nothing special, all kids do silly stuff sometimes. Also me: I had a special number that I considered to be right. I scratched my head till I bled At age 10 I tried to memorize all my symptoms/moment/ life to share with a psychiatrist when I grew older but I shouldn't list or write them because it would turn real. I had intrusive nsf images. I swallowed my saliva to get rid of a bad thought so it does not turn real.

i remember being in 4th grade taking a test and thinking a bad thought and out loud saying "shush" and "stop" to stop thinking it. i was scared that people could read my mind and knew what the bad thought was. as an even younger kid, though, my excitement for christmas was replaced by the fear that santa was going to give me coal. i was also raised christian, but whenever i had a problem that most people would pray for help for, i avoided praying because i was afraid that if i let god know about the problem he would make it worse because he hated me.

11 after my mom got sick I thought all sickness where bad so I would pray continually or do what I believe where compulsions but it stopped and came back during Covid and now it turned into harm ocd which feels like a deeper root that probably started from living in abusive household thank you for letting me share

When I was 6, I took all the scissors from around my house and hid them in case anyone tried to come in our house and hurt us.

I was scared to wear Halloween mask for too long because of every horror film my uncle showed me the killer always had a mask on. I thought if I wore a mask too long something would mentally snap in me and I’d hurt my family. I had a toy sword that I swung around when I played and you know that sound it makes when you swing something through the air hard enough? Well as time went on and that air swooshing sound got louder I was scared I was “becoming too strong” and that I wouldn’t be able to be contained if I went crazy. This is all going on in my head at the age of 8-10 and I’m 25 now.

After some trauma is when my onset for OCD was. Also my cousins tortured me with the "fly touch" where they would touch dead flies and then touch me. It was hell. My main theme as a kid was contamination. Took me 12 years to get treatment, 8ish years to get a diagnosis.

My earliest memory of obsessions and compulsions were genuinely before I even started kindergarten. I was a 3-5 year old having existential crisis' and suffering with 'just right' and/or symmetry OCD. My parents thought I was just acting out and misbehaving, so I was punished for my compulsions and meltdowns.

I wasn’t diagnosed until a year and a half ago, but once I was, everything made sense. My very first obsession/compulsion started in 2nd or 3rd grade. I had a friend tell me if I did something bad, I could ask God for forgiveness and be forgiven. Any thought, words, or actions that I even remotely thought was “bad” I’d repeat under my breath or in my head “God please forgive me” and this stayed throughout childhood, teens, and sometimes even now. It pops up every so often.