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Im struggling with false memory pocd sexual what if thoughts. I discussed it with three therapists. Did CBT and ERP. Ive been free of this intrusive thoughts for 11 months and now its back and i feel like at square onewith doubt. Redoubting things ive already did therapy on and disproved. I felt inner peace and fine for almost a year and now back to feeling stuck ruminating questioning whats real memory and whats false memory even though deep down i kmkw its false memory i have evidence against the thoughts and its so ego dystonic theres no proof as my therapist said.

05Enfj_R

Date posted: 11w

Remember, you're not trying to find enough proof against what the ocd thoughts are throwing at you, you're trying to sit in the discomfort of doubt successfully. There's not a single person who's ever won the evidence battle with OCD. It will never be satisfied. EVER. The OCD thoughts are fed by your need to find certainty. Fight against it by saying things like "maybe there is evidence, maybe there isn't." I know that is probably already making you feel uncomfortable just by reading it but you have to ride the wave of anxiety. Its hard then it gets harder then it starts to come down until its gone! Just remember you're never going to completely feel comfortable in life. Its just about learning to be comfortable enough to be able to start being productive again but not so comfortable that you're not challenging your ocd anymore. Always challenge you're ocd so it stays where it belongs, under your thumb.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 11w

@05Enfj_R Thank you. I was looking fir my wifes photos to do sexual acts too. The intrusive thought was since i was looking through her photos and came across one with her relatives and sister in law that “what if i did a sexual acts to them” and ocd says you think the sister in law is somewhat pretty so maybe you did” but i know i avoid her and im not attracted to her. My intent was to look for my wifes photos and if i recall i felt anxiety seeing the sister in law and kid and my brother in law and avoided then and just cropped my wife out the photo so i could do sexual acts to her photo alone. And ocd says what if i did sexual acts while looking st thr photo and the kid was in it. Thats absurd. My anxirty freaks out seeing the kid in the photo i couldnt/wouldnt do anything sexually inappropriate. And i dont think i did anything sexual to the sister in law in the photo. Im sure i recall being attravted to my wife in that photo and looked at her and cropped everyone out so it was just my wife

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 11w

@05Enfj_R My therapist said look at the photos and disprove it in real time. Say see im looking and not doing anything sexual to the kids. And the same principle i guess applies to the what if regarding the photo with the sister in law in it with my wife. He said disprove it in the moment by doing this erp exercise. The photo triggers the false memory so look at it and just sit with the anxiety and challenge ocd. I mentioned another photo which was worrying about seeing kids when i was looking for my wifes photo in our family album. I know its all the same intrusivr thought different iterations and all the same erp and cbt treatment right. I get caught in the ckntent and details of every kcd thought keeping me stuck trying to figure it out

05Enfj_R

Date posted: 11w

@Anonynmous19 You're welcome. Exactly, the content never matters, its thankfully all treated the same. ERP. I wish you the best :)

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

@Anonynmous19 - Hmm ngl your therapists techniques sound questionable because he's instructing you to argue with your thoughts and disprove them, which is basically an instruction for you to engage in compulsions. That's sadly gonna make your Ocd worse over time. We're not supposed to use ERP to prove our thoughts wrong either- we only use ERP to sit with the uncertainty and discomfort of not knowing the answer

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 11w

@05Enfj_R How do i do erp for this?

footballNY32

Date posted: 20w

POCD FALSE MEMORIES ADVICE?

Hello everyone I need some advice. I’ve struggled with what I think and hope is ocd for a long time. It started when I was 14 I had a concussion and my brain convinced myself for 9 months that I had this concussion. Then I had a gf at 15 before we were official I did a terrible thing im regretful of it for sure. I kissed another girl. I told my now ex girlfriend about it and I started to overthink the situation and think maybe I slept with the girl or maybe we did more than kiss. In reality we didn’t. when I turned 16 I started having thoughts of maybe I cheated on her with other girls at our school. It would be false memories of me sleeping or doing things with 4 or 5 other girls. That eventually went away as I would ask reassurance like a crazy person. Then one day what I believe was either Christmas time or new years around that time I had this thought “what if I SA’d my ex little sister?” This thought tormented me for so long I couldn’t believe it. As she was so young it would be impossible for me to do that without someone noticing plus that’s absolutely horrifying and disgusting and I’ve never ever ever ever been alone with her or desired to. Then what I knew would happen came along with me thinking I SA’d my little sister or my baby brother at the time. It was a horrible experience. Then it went to me thinking I was a pedo without the false memories. Then it went to my other siblings thinking I did something to them in their sleep, I did something to the pets, etc. As I got older I realized what ocd was and what I was going through and it eventually all went away. But as time goes on I’m now almost 24 I have spiraled back into thinking I SA my ex little sister. It’s crazy because I’ve never had that desire or anything at all it would absolutely break me if that was true. With something like this saying maybe not maybe it did is crazy because it’s a serious thing. I’m getting therapy on Monday and am just wanting my life back. I just recently got engaged to my beautiful fiancé and I want to be regular again. Anyone have any advice or even have gone through the same scenarios? It’s just so tough.

YouWillSurvive

Date posted: 20w

False-Memory OCD Help

Hey all, I've been okay for a while, but today I'm having a hard time with my sexually-themed false memory thoughts and the compulsion to try and "figure it out". While I've learned enough over time that "figuring it out" doesn't work, I'm just feeling extra overwhelmed today. Stuff that happened over 7 years ago is really getting to me, I'm in this limbo state just sitting here with it all but... ...anyone have any general tips for false-memory OCD?

anonymous00001

Date posted: 19w

Looking for “proof” that it’s not OCD

Hey all, I’ve been having some ebbs and flows in recovery, but for the most part I’ve really had a lot of improvements in quality of life since starting treatment in 2023. Something that really trips me up is ruminating on my past and looking for “evidence” or “proof” that the things that I’m obsessed with are real and not OCD. I spend quite a lot of time doing this. I wasn’t fully aware I was doing it until recently. Example: that I’m secretly gay and lying to everyone (I’m bi), that I’m a horrible person deep down, that I’ve never actually loved any person including my family, that I have the “wrong” political or religious beliefs. I look for proof in every corner of my past. It makes some sense that I think this way because with my previous therapist, who I saw for 8 years and did not diagnose me with OCD, we would look for evidence and proof that my obsessions are irrational and I learned to deal with them that way. At the time it was a lot of health concern and contamination themes, but I literally learned to ruminate and search for relief. But I just kept getting sicker and sicker until I got diagnosed with OCD. It’s a frustrating compulsion that keeps showing up for me. What if these scary things are true? What if it’s not OCD at all and I’m in denial? Have I lied my way into thinking I have OCD? It’s so hard. Anyway, I’m curious if anyone else has come across this in recovery? Let me know your thoughts and I hope you’re well. ❤️

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