I usually would say I’ve never been depressed , but recently in my life since my anxiety/ocd has been so bad and having relationship problems I’m feeling kinda sad / stressed. I keep getting scared of being depressed I keep having intrusive thoughts of “ you’d would be better off if you weren’t living” “ I don’t wanna live if it’s like this” and it’s just scaring me 😞
As someone who has been depressed many times I definitely understand the concern. I recommend talking to your therapist about this as a preventative measure. I think one of the most important parts of preventing a depression spiral is noticing when you are starting to show signs and getting help before things get worse. So it’s great you are noticing it now when it’s more mild!
@k-123 Thankyou so much , I have intrusive thoughts about being severely depressed or not being able to get out of bed even though that’s never happend to me before:(
@justsomone1 Maybe it would be helpful to keep a journal of all the things you do in a day? Even the small things
@k-123 possibly 🤍 I’m currently looking for a hobby. Or job
I see you must value your mental health! OCD always attacks what we value. I had a severe fear of depression as well. I value myself, my mental health and my life, so OCD went into overdrive to “protect” me from anything bad happening in regard to these things. Its natural to worry about our health worsening. Its natural for these thoughts to feel alarming. But by responding to those false alarms, we teach our OCD that these thoughts are important to us and need attention. So, it continues sending us more. Thinking its helping us. Sit with the uncertainty here. “I may or may not be depressed”. Writing and reading over a script about the worst case scenario if these fears came true. Disregarding the thoughts and using non-engagement responses rather than reacting with compulsions like ruminating, checking, reassurance, etc… I understand how hard this can feel and scary it can be. I’m sorry you’re experiencing something I also struggled with severely. Please know it won’t always be like this. Be kind to yourself and your brain, its trying to keep you safe, it just doesn’t know its doing it the wrong way. ❤️
I have delt with the same thoughts. I’m sorry you have to deal with them but it gets better! Challenging these thoughts helps me a lot. I go for sarcastic responses when I get these thoughts, you can always try that out if you want!
You value life, OCD knows that and attacks it. Also, you can have depressive like symptoms, low energy, little interest in activities, and not mean anything other than just a burn out. OCD knows you value the life you have and so it wants to make you doubt and keeps you stuck. It’s okay to feel sad and stressed. It’s all apart of OCD. Not everything sad and anxious means depression
@My OCD Academia I second this and speak from experience because I struggle with the same fears and thoughts. You don’t have to agree with the thought, but it does help to accept the possibility that you may be depressed. You might be, you might not be, who knows. If you are, trust that you’ll get through it like you always have. If you aren’t then trust that you’ll continue on like you always have. Either way you accept the uncertainty, say whatever, and keep on going without dwelling on it.
I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...
I'm really afraid to say that and the reason might be because of how depression is described to us. And at this point I dont know what is depression. I don't think feeling down is depression. Or sometimes feeling like things doesnt go as you want and you dont know what to do. Maybe it is, I can't tell it cause if i say im depressed in these situations it makes the situation worse, I feel like I put more weight on me. I know its common for depressed people to be ashamed that they are depressed and that might be my case too but as I said, many times I feel like I shouldnt call it depression, just feeling low or things has been stressful and it made me mentaly tired. I imagine depression as a different thing, i believe i was depressed before,because of ocd and i wasnt able to deal with my emotions, and sometimes I spin about that too cause again depression is presented differently in social media and by therapists too. So everytime i feel down i spin about if im depressed, afraid of depression cause I see it as a really bad thing.
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
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