Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

TOCD

Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like you’re the opposite gender and that’s what you want to be and it’s very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i don’t feel like myself at all anymore. It’s making me not feel like a woman or myself of how I’ve always been my whole life. I’m really nervous and scared, it’s really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): it’s causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and it’s making me feel like I’m attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. I’m in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

It sounds like you value your relationship. OCD will always attack what you value, because it’s important to you. I’m sure you also value your identity. OCD is latching onto doubts about sexuality and gender identity because of this. What if I’m XYZ… maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. When you find yourself “testing” how you feel, gently remind yourself that you can’t know for sure right now, and try to dismiss the thought by not giving it active attention through compulsions. When the obsession calms down, you will feel aligned with yourself and your values once more.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

@alissaa Thank you for the advice, i appreciate it! Have you dealt with this before?

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

@Dreamydream Yes I have definitely had thoughts like this pop up before. My OCD has latched onto any and every possible theme over the years. Its tough! The more you feed into it, the more thoughts it will send you. I don’t say that to scare you, but to remind you that while we aren’t in control of our thoughts, we are in control of our responses to them. I know you feel fear, but pretend to show indifference to the thoughts. Eventually your brain will realize the thoughts its sending are not important to you.

alissaa

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

@alissaa As an example, when you had the thought “I wish I looked like them” you probably reacted with compulsions like ruminating about why you had the thought, testing if thats how you feel, seeking reassurance, google searching, etc.. Instead, try something like “hm, there’s those thoughts again. I’m going to continue eating my dinner”…. Lol random example but I hope that makes sense. There’s many non-engagement responses you can use, so find the ones you feel fit you the best. Moral of the story is to reduce compulsions. Practice exposure around the fears with a therapist if you have one, so you’re better prepared to respond to thoughts when they arise.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

@alissaa Yes this is what I’m experiencing too. I started with harm for awhile, then existential, now this /: it just jumps for theme to theme and latches onto anything i see. It’s just horrible, i was doing well with my ocd that last few weeks it was calming down but this new thing has just made things worse again. I’m just so tired and drained and it’s only been a few months. I am in therapy and having been practicing erp but this new stuff has really been taking a toll on me unfortunately. Just feels so real and possible. I’m trying not to feed into it cause i know it makes things worse but it’s literally making me feel like my identity is changing and I’m not myself? I’m trying tho, just really hard.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

@alissaa How do you stop mental compulsions? I feel like it just happens like i can’t control them

OutstandingC...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

Yes, it is normal. I haven’t experienced TOCD specifically but this is exactly what OCD does. You’re describing a textbook OCD experience!!!

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

@Anonymustard Really u think so? 🥺

OutstandingC...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11w

@Dreamydream - Yes I definitely do. I've seen posts exactly like this across many different themes hundreds of times on this app.

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

@Anonymustard Thank you sm 🥹

Dreamydream

Date posted: 11w

& when i look at guys my brain goes “i wish i looked like them” like wtfffffff im freaked out

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

Can anyone tell me if this is normwl

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

f7nn

Date posted: 18w

My current predicament

Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too

Dreamydream

Date posted: 12w

TOCD

2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩

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