Why am I so curious about my bf’s sexual past … I know the amount of people he’s been with, but now I’m curious as to how many at one time. I don’t want to ask because if I know and it’s an answer I don’t like, it will break me. How do I get the urge to ask out of my head :/
(Assuming you’re a girl, correct me if I’m wrong) but this seems a common occurrence amongst women. The curiosity of wanting to know past partners, I’ve experienced this with my ex girlfriend. If you want to know, you cannot be upset if you don’t like the answer. It’s in the past and it had nothing to do with you. Try to really hold on to the unknown, knowing that it wouldn’t make a difference where you guys are at today
It's okay to feel uncomfortable with certain things that others may be comfortable with doing, as we all are different. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to date someone or force yourself to feel comfortable with things you're not just because others like those things, because that’s not fair to you as an individual. You feel how you feel and I respect that 🫶 You are entitled to your own values and mindset so if sex is very special to you and you only wanna date someone who only has sex with one partner at a time, just like you would do- absolutely nothing wrong with that! :) It’s important to share similar views as your partner because if not, it causes compatibility issues that will bother you, even if you didn’t have OCD. But compatibility and ROCD are the two problems here I say, work on the Ocd first and don't ask for reassurance, because it’s a compulsion. When your Ocd is under control and you think your partner's answer could be a dealbreaker- maybe consider asking (if you change your mind in the future and want to), to see if you are compatible. If you aren't compatible, you are allowed to find someone more compatible for you <3 No need to force yourself to stay in a situation you're not comfortable in
To me this sounds like retrograde jealousy, where you're jealous of your partners past and ask about it. My ex went through this and couldn't get over it. I explained to him how any of that changes someone's character or who they are. He would judge my exes and wonder why I dated them and compare himself. At the end of the day, why does it matter? You're with him now and the past shouldn't affect your present relationship with someone you love. As long as you're having safe consensual sex and ruled out infections then his sexual past is irrelevant.
The need for certainty is an ugly one. Do your best to not let it bother you and sit with the anxiety. I struggled with this a lot before I realized I had OCD, and I still do but now at least I can acknowledge it is OCD. You can do this❤️
I mean this in an intimate way at one time - during intimate acts
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
I feel wrong because at one point i didn’t tell all my coworkers about my boyfriend because i wasn’t sure if we would break up or not and i wanted to i guess keep my options open and i thought one of my coworkers were cute and he also ended up being my plug later on but i never did anything with him i swear also he’s like 16 and i’m like 19 pregnant with my boyfriends baby do you think it’s ocd because i know if i tell my bf it would probably just make him angry
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