I. Was so afraid to have sex with my husband. This is making me so afraid that im gay. I feel sexual attraction to men. I don’t know what’s going on. Has this happened to anyone?
Yes, this has happened to me and my girlfriend. Remember that OCD attacks the things you care about most. Obviously you care about your husband and OCD is pouncing on that relationship by tormenting you. From experience, this fear will subside if you don’t allow it to grow. It’s easier said than done, please talk with professional, however just know that it’s okay and you’re not your thoughts.
@Motionless You’re right. Thank you for helping me not feel alone
Yes, I relate so much, but for me it’s more POCD than “am I gay?” I’ve definitely had moments where I was scared to have sex with my boyfriend because of intrusive thoughts like, “what if I imagine him not being an adult?” or “what if I’m just faking being attracted to him?” It gets even more confusing because my ROCD also kicks in, and suddenly everything feels like one big anxiety spiral. I know the content of the thoughts might look different, but I feel like they come from the same fear, this terrifying “what if I’m secretly someone I don’t want to be?” And what makes it worse is that sex is so vulnerable for people like us. You’re letting your guard down, being super present, and OCD hates that. So it throws every disturbing or doubt-filled thought it can at you right in that moment. And honestly? You might be scared just because you’re anticipating that OCD is going to strike. Like… having sex with your husband is literally the straightest thing you could do lol, and because OCD is all about uncertainty and doubt, it targets that even harder. It’s like “wait, you’re doing something that should feel safe and aligned? Let me mess that up real quick.” You’re not alone in this. These thoughts feel so real, but they’re not a reflection of who you are, they’re just OCD doing what it does. Be gentle with yourself, sending so much love your way 🤍🫂
I’m curious behind why you’re afraid. For me I’m super scared to have sex with my boyfriend because of the pain but more so due to religious ocd and the fact that we aren’t married. I think figuring out why you’re scared to have sex will help you feel better about the situation
@cmax20 I have hocd… I have no idea why.
@Loveconquersall1 I don’t think there’s ever exactly an answer as to why we have ocd. But I do know that there’s a way to come out on the other side, at least I would hope
@Loveconquersall1 Sometimes there just is no reason. Sometimes things happen for no reason. Even if there was, it could be so deep and complicated of a reason, one that developed over years and years of thousands of little experiences that trying to figure it out would be pointless because at the end of the day the WHOLE THING is meaningless (the OCD).
Same /: it’s making me feel like im attracted to girls but i never felt this way before in my life. And it’s also mixing with tocd which absolutely sucks.
Hello, im a 21ye old male. All of my life i was always atrscted to girls, even if it was only a hug by a girl i liked i got a boner. I always fantasised about doing fun stuff (not onyl sex) with my gf. Had a gf for almost two years. Two months ago i fell into severe anxiety about my sexuality changing. It happened to me 2 years ago bit then i had my gf and i did not need to worry if i will find a girl i love or will i be able to because i already had her. The toughts were realy intense but they faded and for 2 years i did not experience any doubts or fears about it. Then it happened again in december. For 2-3 weeks i was realy down...constant toughts about doing things with men i never wanted to do, fear that i liked someone, fear of denial...but them bc of getting back with my girlfriend it was okay for three weeks almosf. Then we broke up again and after a few days i had the worst days of my life. I felt like i actually changed, i did not know what to do. Then after a week I went out with a girl and when she laid on me when we wafched a show I got aroused like i always did with my ex. I felt such relief and i could handle my fears and anxiety for almost a month. Then a week ago the fear returned and i am again in a very bad spot, i dont know what else to do, i have no girl that i love, i am afraid i will never be able to experience those same feelings and moment that i had with my ex and then again the toughts of being in denial came back. I dont know what to do. My psychiatrist said i dont have ocd but onyl simptoms and that my anxiety is the proboem. Any one experienced something similar? Thanks
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
