Ocd and emotions

I have alot of problems with this and I question alot if I do avoid my emotions cause today everyone says to "feel your emotions, let them be" but it just makes me be stuck with suffering. Currently I have a problem at my job, it's really stressful and i feel like everyone thinks im stupid and a bad person and it's hard, I struggle with negative emotions and I rumminate alot about the things, what couldve happened,what will happen and sometimes it makes me feel helpless cause idk what to do. But when it happens I don't let myself feel helpless, I don't know why you should let yourself feel anything like hopelessness,helplesnees,or let yourself tell any story that will not help you. I acknowledge it that it came up, but I won't let it to continously be there. I never understood that when you have these feelings, sitting with them makes you just follow the story that is unhealthy. I feel things that are unhealthy for me and i tried to sit with it and made me feel worse being stuck with that emotion. I start to think that people who actually has avoidance problems they dont notice how they feel, when I do notice I just choose not to go on that path. I question grief too alot. Everyone grieves differently so that's why is difficult but I don't like when people say that grief will never end and if you feel better about your loss you are just lying to yourself... Ofcourse you will never feel happy about anything you lost in your life. When i dealt with grief I noticed it, back then i thought okay i have to sit with the pain but then it got worse and worse and I felt like im stuck in my pain. Then I decided I have to move and im not 100%over, i dont even know what that means cause as I said you will never feel happy about any loss you experienced,but thats a different thing, you can still live your life with that,but if its been years and you still think life sucks and nothing is good then youre stuck with grief. This is not judging anyone who is not over grief, But it's problematic for me when I say i wont let this emotion to rule my day, and then i feel like im supressing it... or when people say "just let it be there" then my focus is on that being there, so to change your focus to your life you have to ignore the feelings, and people say "no,you dont" but thats what you have to do... To choose that you will live your life and you will focus on something else no matter what means that you will ignore the feelings, you can still notice it but you give no power to them. That's called ignoring it... I have to learn what supressing feelings really means cause everytime I try to live my life I say i supress my emotions cause it feels like that. I hope someone will read this, either will help him or he will help me understand things more, so if you read this, thank you for your time! :)

anonymous070323

Date posted: 11w

i really like your take on this, i think it’s a really incredible skill to not dwell on things and i feel like you’ve found a way that works for you in coping! i know i struggle with that a lot and it really negatively effects me. my parents always ignored issues and things and because of this, i feel the need to figure everything out and work everything through and sometimes i genuinely just can’t ignore it.

PRIV8

Date posted: 11w

I understand you, I have the same family too, an alcoholic father and a mother who went through alot, lost her first husband and now she lost both of her parents and I saw how she dealt with her emotions and it wasnt healthy. So I know why i struggle with not knowing how to deal with emotions. This doesnt mean I blame them, I just recognize what they went through

its_izzy

Date posted: 11w

One thing I have learned through a dear friend of mine is instead of ignoring the feeling or staying stuck with it (i struggle with this too) - is to sit with whatever it is you’re feeling for 24 hrs and release it through doing stuff that moves the energy from your head into expressing it outwards. After that, move on with your life. It has helped me alot and helps ease the overthinking and analyzing. Hope this helps!

PRIV8

Date posted: 11w

Okay but that means? What sitting with it means? Cause for me i will just think about it the whole time. And I understand that what you told me it helps you and some, I had a friend, when he got really angry or sad he went out to split wood, to release the anger and frustration. That never worked for me, when i tried sport or doing something agressive like this it just made me feel angrier, build up more emotions and I felt worse. Alot of people say it helps them to punch pillows, for me it just made me feel worse, then i feel more angry about the world. . Maybe you don't mean this, I'm open to learn about things, I just shared this

PRIV8

Date posted: 11w

Also what kinda helps me is that I write lyrics and alot of times i write about my struggles but thats different too cause alot of people say music is good for expressing your feelings, when i write about my feelings the moral of the song is always that things will get better, now it sucks but it will make me stronger. I dont like songs that express feelings but just stays there, making you feel hopeless. In the past I wrote lyrics like that and it made me more depressed. But some people say it helps them to write out their feelings... we are different i think, or they are lying, cause if you still think life is cruel and bad, and you express it but without changing your beliefs that doesnt mean you healed yourself. Which is another topic...

its_izzy

Date posted: 11w

@PRIV8 I get where you are coming. What i brought up has to do with letting yourself feel without “fueling” it which is way easier said than done and also doing the opposite of whatever it is you’re feeling (again, easier said than done). When i have pent up frustration or other feelings, i’ll admit, i let myself get carried away and feeding more into it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with their emotions, i’m still learning how to handle it…but i think you’re onto something with what you wrote in the end… Im just thinking putloud here; have you tried somatic work?

PRIV8

Date posted: 11w

@its_izzy Im not good at it either, just now I had alot of emotions and i started to feel like i will get a panic attack then I started to beat myself over what should i do cause i felt like im avoiding or not doing things right and then i felt like i cant do this im tired of this... so im not good either. Everytime i feel like im doing it wrong, then i try to sit with the emotions and thoughts but im just entertaining them. In the moment it doesnt help to challenge them cause they get stronger... idk what to do, thats why i want to learn it

its_izzy

Date posted: 11w

@PRIV8 I 100% understand where you are coming from. Im sorry to hear things have been tough for you today. Its so hard and frustrating when we’re in the middle of it. That usually happens to me when i wake up feeling low and it gets worse post showers or when ive been at school. Are you working with a therapist at the moment? Honestly, working with my therapist (CBT and motivational interviewing) has been the only way I have been able to find relief. (especially when my therapist sees me have moments like that in real time and helps me through them). Personally my biggest reliefs have been fidget toys and essentials oils. They help me get out of my head usually and help distract me a bit when im by myself. That and a really good movie and snacks.

PRIV8

Date posted: 11w

@its_izzy I used to go to therapy but the labels and things that they said made me leave. Later I learned you have to go with a mindset that you wont connect with your therapist all the time, but considering how much i paid for it every week it does not worth it for me. I find free resources on the internet that helped me more(I started to realize something is wrong when all of the therapy I had been didnt helped me that much but videos on youtube helped me alot just in 3 months...and it was free). This is my experience. I don't know if you're a believer, if not that's not a problem, someone here before recommended me Mark Dejesus's videos on youtube, I cant be grateful enough for that person, cause since she/he sent me that, and I started to watch his videos alot of things changed. He is christian and his videos contains christian related things, but I think if you're not christian it still can help. He talks about alot of mental health things... So I recommend him

PRIV8

Date posted: 20w

Why I don't get psychology

I didn't wanted to say it's useless or it's never helpful, but I feel like it's really black and white and people use it to categories others in "personality groups" and it's wrong how they do it. Yesterday I gave a chance to a video cause I was like "let's learn about myself" and I watched it with curiousity, And at the end of the video i was triggered... Im sure someone without ocd just ignores it and all this is just my ocd but im curious what other people thinks. First thing that triggered me is that making jokes is a coping mechanism, which is somewhat true, it can be for some, but in that video it was told like if you like to make jokes and you like to make people laugh, you only do because you need attention and your mother never gave you attention when you were a kid so now you want attention so you make jokes...As an ocder this got me triggered cause I like to make jokes,but if it would be to get attention it would be forced... and i dont feel like mine is forced,I do it cause I can laugh at my own jokes and making others laugh is a really good feeling. Sometimes Im a troll on the internet, and i like when people read my comments on youtube but thats a normal thing, everyone likes when they get any attention, its normal human behaviour, but psychology often tells you that you have a deep psychological problem and thats why you do these things. And it really feels like an attack, expecially if you have ocd. I remember when I was in therapy, alot of things i do was attacked with this "you do this cause you want attention cause you didnt get it from your parents" and it made me spin and stop doing those things. Its really toxic if you think about it. The other thing was about ocd... I dont know if it's psychology or just the beliefs of that person who made the video, but it's 2025 and people still dont know what is ocd... I read before about "obsessive personality disorder" , the whole personality disorder thing is just made up to label people into groups in my opinion,when people can be in more than 1 group... but what triggered me was that he said "the differece between ocd and obsessive personality dissorder is that people with opd are perfectionists, obsession got their whole life and it controls everything." Now this makes me question what that person thinks about ocd... So ocd does not gets into your life? It does not takes your life away? Here was another he said. "People with ocd do the compulsion because of fear, while people with opd do that because of anger/frustration". And I would ask, what type of feeling is anger? Anger is a second feeling and many times behind it theres another feeling and often it is fear... And people with ocd can become angry and frustrated with their compulsions, some of it does not act on compulsions because of fear but because of frustration. Everyone with ocd is a perfectionist, i know this might trigger you, but its true, everyone with ocd is hard with themself, and can drive others crazy with their rules. These people still thinks that ocd is cleaning and wanting things to be organized... Its sad that the only people who knows what ocd is are the ones who has it or got through it... this is why I dont go to therapy, instead i watch videos on youtube from people who had/has ocd and I have to say it was really helpful and I noticed alot of progression in my mental health...

PRIV8

Date posted: 20w

Feeling emotions

I get alot of times that you should let yourself feel your emotions,now I kinda see the emotions i was struggling with before, and the problem might have been that i didnt let myself feel them, and i even think that thats why i experienced panic attacks. However im struggling again cause letting myself feel the emotions made me emotional and throughout the day many times i feel something that i dont know what to do with, giving them attention makes me spiral. Now its about my dog, for two days he vomitted out what he ate and now he doesnt want to eat his food, some food he does want but those are some human food that he shouldnt eat. But my mom brought chicken meat to him, he doesnt want to eat it, and she made something for him but he doesnt wants to eat that either...This makes me really sad cause im afraid i will lose him. I feel really bad when someone who i love is sick and with him its hard cause dogs cant tell you whats the problem. I have a deep sadness about it and fear and I let myself feel it but it gets so bad that it doesnt help me at all. I dont find it helpful, its just makes my day harder. Now again makes me angry if i hear someone saying you should feel all your feelings... Being aware of it, it takes your focus too, i never understood that, how you are aware of something and your focus does not move there... The bird exemple is not true for me, if i go out and hear a bird chirping either im aware of it and it takes my focus,or I enjoy it with the view, or I just notice it and then ignore it,I dont give so much attention to it. Right now birds are chirping, if i put my awarness there i notice them, but if i focus on here that im writing now, i dont notice them,i forget that birds are chirping...Its not like im aware of both... I agree that i should let myself feel more emotions cause alot of problems came there but I dont know where is the line and when im giving too much attention or when im dealing with them too much...

summerloveru...

Date posted: 7w

So...

I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again" Love you!!!

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