Hey guys, basically I've got many issues as some of you know with this awful OCD. But my latest one which I'm not sure is OCD, is around my boyfriend. I fell in love with him and decided to call it a thing, been together almost three months. Thing is, he struggles to get an erection and it makes me feel bad. Like I'm the reason he can't get it up even though he's explained it's because he worries he won't be able to and then he can't. And now I'm going through a time where I'm thinking, I don't find him sexually attractive because I know I actually don't, but I still love him. And I'd find him sexually attractive if this wasn't an issue. If he got more sexy and sexual towards me. This is the first guy that has ever struggled getting it up with me, basically the bedroom stuff is absolutely shit and I don't want to break up with him but my brain is telling me I do but I don't. It's something we can work around but any advice on how to help him? Or how to feel like it's not my fault. Also am I horrible for doubting whether I'm sexually attracted to him? I think he's cute but the sexual thing isn't there at all and I love his personality so I do want to stay with him but I just want this to be solved

? ilshid

Date posted: 5y

Okk I'm also not sure that is OCD, it might not be because there's an actual issue. But, like you said, it can be resolved. If you like his personality and being with him, then the sexual stuff can definitely be improved. The only thing that really matters in the bedroom, is whether or not you both want to make each other feel good. I'd suggest: do NOT focus on the fact that he "has to" get an erection. If it happens, good, if it doesn't, also good. He can still feel turned on without an erection, he can even come without one. So don't worry about it, tell him it doesn't matter and you can both feel good regardless of whether or not it happens. If he sees you don't worry about it, then he won't worry about it. He'll focus on enjoying the experience, and more likely than not, he'll also get an erection — but that's not the point!

painintheocd

Date posted: 5y

Look into real event ocd...do some research but not compulsively! This might help you find some clarity?

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