feeling misunderstood

Having ocd is so incredibly exhausting and depressing- my mom and dad argued with me for over an hour talking about how im a pain to be around, go in too many loops, and ruin everything and everyones mood… this conversation started with me saying im stressed out because of school and that i dont want to go because im exhausted- and idk if this is like ocd directly but it takes me like 2 hours to get ready in the morning because i need to look PERFECT and the same everyday literally 😭 and that process feels so exhausting every morning at 6am but i will NOT go to school without going through with it- i will literally be crying and shaking and wanting to go home the minute i get to school if even a single strand of my hair is not perfectly straightened or any blemishes or flaws are showing- and i cant even walk to school or anything bc im scared the humidity will mess with my hair and everything- and it just really affects my life? And yeah its freaking exhausting. And i have two more years of highschool and I dont know if im going to make it 😭i get super stressed over grades too because i need them to be extraordinary otherwise its a fail. Nothing below 95%. And thats also tiring! 😁 and my mom told me today “medication IS NOTTTT AND OPTION!!!” Like oh okay so im just cooked 😭 and therapy isnt really helping me at all- i feel like what im being told is so basic and generic and it doesn’t help me when im in a huge ocd episode- which is often… and what i hate most is like my mom says “don’t come to me with your problems after 6pm…” im sorry i cant schedule my feelings 😭 im so tired

[Deleted]

Date posted: 11w

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avantika 🪻

Date posted: 11w

@livingwocd Parents are so goofy sometimes 😭💀

etpime

Date posted: 11w

I was actually the same way in high school and I eventually ended up doing online for the last 2.5 years. I didn’t know at the time it was probably ocd, just thought it was really bad social anxiety. I’m sorry ur going thru this and it definitely doesn’t help having a parent be against mental health medications. Hopefully one day you’ll be able to get the help you need, or even ask your mom if she can set u up with a therapist.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 11w

@etpime Im already seeing a therapist but idk she seems to just think im very anxious like as a personality trait? 😭 and wait you had the same like hair straightening issues? Because it actually makes me TWEAK out 😭i want to go online but im scared i wont get into university 😭😭😭

etpime

Date posted: 11w

@weregonnabeokay Mine was if my acne was pretty bad that day or if my hair was even had the slightest bit of oil or if I just in general felt ugly. And if I didn’t find an outfit that looked just right to me that might’ve looked okay a different day, then I would absolutely dread going if I even ended up going. Room would be an absolute mess with clothes some mornings bc I’m trying on and taking off tons of different outfits…still frequently guilty of this if I’m going in public. Actually just did this today for a gathering with only close family lmao😭like logic tells me nobody will care if I come looking like a hot mess but my brain is telling me if I look any type of unpresentable to my standards people will think mean things but won’t say it out loud or something of the sort😭

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 11w

@etpime Yeah i used to have really really bad acne i still do but not as bad and acne used to be a big struggle for me to work around but now its definitely become my hair

ocdsuxxx

Date posted: 11w

Wow u deserve better love we’re here for u

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 19w

Lost

I had like a really bad argument with my mom basically about her complaining about my “attitude” and “constant arrogance” like okay firstly 😭 yes i do have an attitude and am irritable but im not THAT bad 😭🙏 she was saying that im a “pest” and that “its not enjoyable to live with someone who makes other people miserable” like 😅🧍‍♀️ oh ☺️ and then i tell her that i know im struggling and that im going to therapy to try to get better and trying to possibly get a diagnosis and she says “your generation just wants something to deal with. You want something to be wrong with you. ‘Trying to get better’ isn’t good enough… would you be able to stand someone like yourself? You’re just choosing this antisocial, narcissistic behaviour and harass everyone… You need to pull yourself together. No matter how much effort we put into you, you will never be happy. You want some medicine? Some diagnosis? Because that will solve everything?” 😭😭😭 and the way she said “some medication”- she sounded so disgusted and appalled and now i feel ashamed… i mean im not officially diagnosed with ocd and it is never my intention to self diagnose- but im sorry its VERY obvious when you have ocd and know of ocd- its so distinct. Everything- the compulsions, reassurance, intrusive thoughts, themes, patterns, perfectionism- but she has me overthinking- what if i dont have ocd 😭 and ive just been lying to myself and everyone maybe its not ocd and im just sick in the head or trying to self sabotage- and especially when my supposed ocd is calm or not as loud i get so anxious “what if i dont have ocd…”

Adi7

Date posted: 17w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

flyana

Date posted: 16w

My mom keeps telling me it's not OCD

My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??

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