Confession compulsion

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

ccheney0

Date posted: 11w

Omg are you me?! Are you actually me? ! I've been doing the exact same thing. To my poor sweet boyfriend. He says its a self sabotaging behavior and that i might be trying to unconsciously push him away. And I think he's right. Did something happen between you two recently?

Lillo2000

Date posted: 11w

@ccheney0 No nothing happened between us things are actually really great right now since we just moved in together. My ocd therapist said that ocd attracts what you value most which is our relationships and who we love. I used to think it was me pushing him away but I think it’s more my fear of losing him and self sabotaging the relationship my self

ccheney0

Date posted: 11w

@Lillo2000 You know moving in together is actually a major life change. And that can trigger ocd episodes. And I think the latter half of what you said is true, and exactly what im doing. My relationship with my boyfriend is super strong. But we had an argument not long ago and it triggered my ocd. Two years and we have had disagreements but never a true fight before. Ever since then I've been like a faucet that won't shut off

Lillo2000

Date posted: 11w

@ccheney0 Yeah my ocd was terrible when we first moved in together but then it settled and I was actually doing pretty good up until recently. I’ve always had trouble with guys especially since he’s my first boyfriend so I’m trying to give myself grace but I don’t know if what I’m doing is wrong or not. And I don’t want to keep telling him everything

ccheney0

Date posted: 11w

@Lillo2000 Absolutely give yourself grace. Maybe you could try a trick that I've been using and see if it helps. The next time you feel a compulsion to confess somethin, you delay the compulsion by telling yourself you'll tell him later. Like instead of blurting the thought out in the moment tell yourself that you'll tell him at the end of the day. And when the end of the day comes, tell yourself "I'll tell him in the morning" etc. The urge to blurt will pass eventually

Lillo2000

Date posted: 11w

@ccheney0 I’ll def try that. Thank you for your help! I also made a appointment to see my therapist today so I can explain everything to her

ccheney0

Date posted: 11w

@Lillo2000 I'm booking an appt with my psychiatrist right now. I need a refill on my buspar

Lillo2000

Date posted: 11w

@ccheney0 I’ve been taking lexapro with Wellbutrin and it’s helped the intrusive thoughts so much

anonymous737...

Date posted: 21w

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

anonymous737...

Date posted: 21w

plss helpppp

Sunny87

Date posted: 20w

“Lying by omission”

FINALLY identified a core fear of mine and it is deceit and lying by omission. My biggest compulsions are confession & rumination. I immediately WANT to confess to whoever the theme is about, BUT since I am NOT acting on the compulsion (*yay*), I feel like I am lying by omission. For example, I will think of a mistake I made in the past, become anxious at the thought that my partner would break up with me over it, and then I want to confess so that he has all the information he needs to make an accurate decision on if he wants to be with me. Otherwise, I feel as though I am withholding pertinent information and his decision to be in a relationship with me is based on lies & fabrication. On one hand I am proud of myself for not compulsively oversharing / acting on compulsivity. On the other hand I worry I am stepping out of my values of honesty & integrity. Or perhaps worse, claiming “compulsion” in the name of hiding from the possibility of whatever consequence may result in me sharing the mistake. Any recommendations?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Confession compulsion

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community