I'm officially diagnosed

So, as of one hour ago today I am officially diagnosed with severe contamination ocd. I don't know how to process this, my moms crying, my therapist is moving to Uruguay and won't be able to continue our therapy, what in actual hell do I do. What am I doing. I don't know how to process this. The issue isn't just that I have it- it's that it's severe, not mild, not moderate, permanent. Incurable. I want a cure so bad, I want a magical pill to make it go away and it simply does not exist. Feel free to message me eith advice for newly diagnosed ocd'ers, I definitely could use it. Have a lovely day everyone ♡

No surrender

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w

I think it’s worth noting that with ERP therapy your symptoms will get WAY easier to deal with.

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w

I REALLY struggled with my diagnosis (newly diagnosed within the past few months). I felt like I made the whole thing up to “convince” my therapist. It gets easier! It’s helped me to understand why my brain works the way it does and has helped me to externalize it / work through it.

Thornhill

Date posted: 8w

I once asked someone if they could ice cream scoop that part of my brain out 🫠 Welcome to the club! Sorry you're here and it is also easier to manage with experience and the right tools. The great thing about a diagnosis is you can get the right support! NOCD have therapists! Maybe reach out to one. OCD is something we will manage forever and symptom management is a good thing. Have a good evening, make sure you are kind to yourself today!!

thmp77

Date posted: 8w

I was diagnosed in December with severe contamination OCD severe depression, and severe anxiety. My OCD has made a HUGE improvement in just the 5 months since my diagnosis. Having the diagnosis gave me control over OCD because now I know what to do and how to recognize it! You’ll find another therapist will help and severe OCD doesn’t stay severe! medication and therapy has knocked mine to mild

thmp77

Date posted: 8w

@thmp77 also NOCD therapists are a God-send. I love my girl ruthie. She is the first therapist who has actually HELPED me and the only therapist i’ve wanted to continue seeing

Ariana ♡

Date posted: 8w

Later: awwwee you guys 😭 currently tearing up this is all so sweet, this made me feel a lot better and I especially don't feel so hopeless now. ♡♡

Mreow

Date posted: 8w

While OCD can be with us for good, its levels can become so low and undetectable, with you living the life you want, with the right care and time. So having "severe contamination OCD" doesn't have to be "permanent". I used to have very severe contamination OCD to a point where I couldn't leave my home. Do I still worry about contamination? Definitely, but I'm enjoying life SO much more and can do things I didn't even imagine doing around the early days of my diagnosis. When I read what you wrote: "The issue isn't just that I have it- it's that it's severe, not mild, not moderate, permanent. Incurable" --> This sounds like catastrophizing, and I'm not judging you, just here to share some honest words of support from someone who got the same diagnosis 3-4 years back: Does it suck to have OCD, and no there's no magic pill to make it go away? Yes. Is the pain, and frustration, and total grief/impact on our families hard? Definitely. But that's what we got. The same way that anyone else may also happen upon an illness in their life that they didn't bring upon themselves, and sucks to get. And the sooner we accept the cards we've been dealt, the sooner we can see the absolute miracle of getting the support, and care we need. And get validation and find our community of support. I remember crying when I got my diagnosis bc I was thankful to know I'm not crazy & instead have a disorder that can be managed with ERP. So thankful to have found NOCD, have therapists who take my OCD seriously! (And I've had therapists leave because of career or family changes, it sucks but you can find a new one you connect with, there are legit other fish in the sea when it comes to good therapists.) One of the best things one of my therapists told me about was "Cognitive Distortions" Maybe learning about those can be a good place to start. 2 of them "All or nothing thinking" and "catastrophizing" are totally part of OCD's game. It may help you and your Mom on the road towards accepting your diagnosis. It takes time, but with time too can come some peace.

Ariana ♡

Date posted: 8w

Thank you so much- your words mean so much to me !

trinii

Date posted: 22w

How do I navigate my new diagnosis?

So after my ocd has become more prominent, it gets harder to fight through these compulsion’s everyday. I don’t go to therapy or take any medications and to be honest I am very lost in my journey on how to navigate life with ocd. I don’t want it to take over my life. I want to be able to feel like I can live without a weight on my chest and to finally feel like I can breathe. Any suggestions or words of advice is more than welcome.

HOY

Date posted: 13w

i dont know if its gonna get better

since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.

Medicine2021_

Date posted: 9w

Suicidal OCD and harm OCD

I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…

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