religious OCD

Please help. I have felt so off/wrong all day. I constantly worry that the “bad guy” is going to get me. I have awful thoughts and I constantly want God to know that I don’t mean these thoughts. I am at a point in my therapy where I need to choose to use my ERP but it feels too scary. I then do compulsions, which makes the OCD worse, which makes me want to use ERP less. And the cycle goes on. I am currently sitting in my car crying because I feel so lost and exhausted. I’m not supposed to figure out my thoughts, but today I just went into a spiral of sadness and depression, thinking that I will always feel like this. When my thoughts got really bad at the end of the day, I tried to use ERP even though I was shaking and not believing my responses and I ended up feeling like I missed something and that I gave into the “bad guy.” I have no one to talk when I’m not doing therapy twice a week. I am alone and have no one to talk to when I am like this… please help

Anonymous

Date posted: 9d

God already knows all your thoughts. This is repeated throughout scripture. And don't worry about the compulsions, it won't bring you closer to God and the flesh profits nothing to the holiness of the spirit, for example, we are saved by grace and kept by grace alone. All is grace. It is not in God's will for you to act out of fear and be consumed by compulsions. That is a blatant lie. Share your thoughts with God and ask Him to wash your heart of any true malice, remember that ocd lies and God's voice is gentle, quiet, and will come with completely assurance and peace, for God is not the God of confusion but of peace. Sit down with Him and your Bible, and just ask Him to breath His Word through your mind & heart. He will reveal His will to you as you grow nearer to Him and surrender to Him. Remeber, He is a never leaving and never forsaking God, He has already written your days before there were any (Psalm 139:16). Use scripture over your thoughts of your have to. I have had religious ocd for about 5 years now and still can't share my thoughts, they are that vicious, but God knows them and has allowed them for His purposes. "Trust that whatever the Lord has allowed in your life is for the purpose of drawing you near to Him and making you completely His own" - Charles Stanley. Ask Him to focus your mind on His Word and renew your spirit. Bless you (sorry for the long reply but if it helps)

alan87

Date posted: 9d

@Anonymous Beautifully said!

aaliyahfield...

Date posted: 9d

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this, and want you to know that you’re not alone.

alan87

Date posted: 9d

God knows what is in your heart. I tell myself that all the time. When OCD makes you question, God knows your heart. Do you have the Bible App on your phone?

r.m.1

Date posted: 8d

Do you see a NOCD therapist or an OCD specialist? It sounds like the hierarchy they have for you may need some slower progress into the really hard stuff. You also mentioned “believing your thoughts” as part of ERP. Thats not part of ERP. We don’t try to change our beliefs. We try to sit with whatever our brains tell us. You accept the thoughts about yourself, about your beliefs, etc but we are not doing ERP to believe the thoughts. We do ERP to allow our minds to calm down on their own without doing compulsions. It’s about training our nervous system we can handle distress without having to feed the obsessions with compulsions. OCD is really really hard. Scrupulosity is really really hard. You are not alone though and there is hope. Many people go through therapy and have strong faith that gives them joy and peace even with OCD present

Luke_McElwee

Date posted: 15w

Losing my shit, freaking out

Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.

Krome_da

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w

Pretty Tough Morning

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

Anonymous

Date posted: 8w

Religious OCD

Hey all. I need help. I am sitting on my bathroom floor freaking out and convinced that all my work towards getting better has gone out the window. I am so scared of the “bad guy” getting me all the time. I constantly feel like I have to prove to God that I don’t mean these awful feelings and thoughts that I have about the bad guy. I’ve had trouble sleeping tonight, going in and out of consciousness, all while dealing with bad thoughts going in and out of my head. Finally I woke up and am flooded with “you have so many thoughts and feeling that you let slide while you were trying to sleep. You had thoughts that you accepted the bad guy and you didn’t dispute them before you tried to move on. You have so much to answer for.” So now I’m sitting here in my bathroom floor hysterically crying and begging God to believe me when I say I don’t any of these thoughts or feelings… please someone help

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