- Date posted
- 13d
having a hard time with my appearance and decision
i don’t feel like i’m allowed to make decisions because what if i’m doing a compulsion. am i genuinely uncomfortable or just looking to do compulsions yk?
i don’t feel like i’m allowed to make decisions because what if i’m doing a compulsion. am i genuinely uncomfortable or just looking to do compulsions yk?
I totally get what you mean I have that fear a lot. Especially asking myself what is a compulsive decision and what is a genuine decision or the reason behind it? this is just ocd’s cycle of trying to make you doubt your own self trust. I struggle a lot with indecisiveness especially with such small things, and considering the fact I have ocd makes me question myself so I understand how troubling that is :(
@Summ3r_ thank you, it’s nice to hear other people relating, it’s just so many little things that i question but i’m trying to just trust myself !
@anonymous494 ofc !! I totally agree tho it’s super hard and confusing when ocd is always trying to change the narrative. I have trouble trusting myself as well, but it’s something that’ll take time we can do it though :)
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@😢😢😢 thank you for the input !
Same here. I am very indecisive and whatever decision I make seems to be the "wrong one" after the fact. This is where the hindsight bias really gets to me as I go back to that moment when a decision was made and not only question it but also circle further back to which of my previous actions / compulsions and respective mental "residues" may have influenced the decision. So in a way I’m creating a chain of events leading to that final decision that’s bothering me and wondering how I could have made a better one and what got me there.
@AleksFin it’s like any decision i make there has to be a reason behind it and i’m really just trying to trust myself :)
I hate feeling constantly conflicted no matter what. I have noticed with food intake, I find myself going back and forth between obsessing over eating too much and fear of gaining any weight to obsessing over eating too little and fear of losing an unhealthy amount of weight and the negative consequences of such. I am getting married this year and continuously think about how I need to be mindful and not eat too much since I need to fit into my dress and feel confident on my wedding day, as I don’t want to look back at pics and be unhappy with how I look. But I also think about how if I don’t eat enough, I will look too thin and will not be confident in myself, and will look back and be unhappy. Idk. It is so hard because I am always trying to figure out what is “right” but it feels like there is no “right.” And I have a really hard time recognizing what my body ACTUALLY looks like physically, not really knowing how I appear to others
I know the truth deep down but I am just doing compulsions to try and convince myself that I have OCD. I try to look up and find things exactly the same and me in experiences how I feel and everything else and it becomes worse when I can’t find the same person as me. I know people do compulsions to make sure they love there partner but I feel like I do compulsions to CONVINCE ME it is ocd
i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.
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