i don’t feel like i’m allowed to make decisions because what if i’m doing a compulsion. am i genuinely uncomfortable or just looking to do compulsions yk?
I totally get what you mean I have that fear a lot. Especially asking myself what is a compulsive decision and what is a genuine decision or the reason behind it? this is just ocd’s cycle of trying to make you doubt your own self trust. I struggle a lot with indecisiveness especially with such small things, and considering the fact I have ocd makes me question myself so I understand how troubling that is :(
@Summ3r_ thank you, it’s nice to hear other people relating, it’s just so many little things that i question but i’m trying to just trust myself !
@anonymous494 ofc !! I totally agree tho it’s super hard and confusing when ocd is always trying to change the narrative. I have trouble trusting myself as well, but it’s something that’ll take time we can do it though :)
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@😢😢😢 thank you for the input !
Same here. I am very indecisive and whatever decision I make seems to be the "wrong one" after the fact. This is where the hindsight bias really gets to me as I go back to that moment when a decision was made and not only question it but also circle further back to which of my previous actions / compulsions and respective mental "residues" may have influenced the decision. So in a way I’m creating a chain of events leading to that final decision that’s bothering me and wondering how I could have made a better one and what got me there.
@AleksFin it’s like any decision i make there has to be a reason behind it and i’m really just trying to trust myself :)
Trigger warning So I can’t stop wondering if I was attracted to this kid I saw a few days ago because I felt something that felt like genuine attraction, it made me worried I was a p, so I tried to leave the place immediately. I also had urges to look to check if I was attracted or not and urges to not to look. All of it made me feel like a genuine P. What is all of this I’m doing, are they compulsions? Or are they pr3detory actions?
i’ve unfortunately fallen into the cycle of trying to figure out my thoughts and find answers as to why i feel so distressed. this still pertains to the situation regarding changing my room for those reading who have seen my multiple posts over the last few days. i’ve been so distressed and in so much panic about it. i’m also panicking over my other room looking so different from when i left it. it’s been making me feel crazy because to me there’s no reason for my anxiety to latch so hard onto something that seems so minuscule. i was thinking i was having anxiety over change, but it’s like symptoms of ocd too that’s making it really hard for me to let go. SO i started thinking maybe it was perfectionism ocd? i’ve realized over time that i do compulsions to where things have to feel “just right”, but i also do that with any environment i’m in. like it HAS to feel cozy to me and provide me comfort in order for me to feel at ease. and this change is causing me to panic because there’s something wrong that i can’t find an answer to. maybe the different colored carpet? but it’s also more than that it feels like. however, now it’s spreading into other areas of my house where i’ve always been fine in and possibly to just any area i’m in at all. hence why it’s making me feel crazy because there’s no reason for me to be THIS distressed over that as i’ve never really had this problem before. and when i did it would last maybe an hour to a couple of days at most, but this has been going for over 2 weeks with my really bad anxiety being this week. i’m doing a little better, but it’s still hard when i can feel that panic waiting for me to acknowledge and just engulf me in the ocd cycle. i’m also analyzing basically any feeling i have so i just feel off in general and like i’m going insane. i’ve been so hyper focused on how i feel and that will send me spiraling too. multiple themes then start coming in like existential ocd and fear of solipsism. not to mention my harm and contamination ocd that just adds on when i’m this vulnerable. then i worry if no one is real, then no one feels the way i do. or just in general that what if no one feels the way i do. honestly, i think being out of college and in my house with nothing to do is causing me too much time with my thoughts. which is why i’m so distressed about everything that pops into my brain.
I get so stuck when making decisions. I guess it’s called executive functioning and before my OCD diagnosis I just thought I was a perfectionist and needed to make sure everything would be perfect before making the decision. Turns out it’s part of OCD?
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