Is there a link between ocd and limerence? Does it mean that you want that person in a sexual way? Can it be platonic? Can it be towards a kid? If it is towards a kids, does it make that person a p*do?
Hi Anna, OCD tries to create correlation equals causation which is not true for most things. So there isn't a link in that sense yet it is similar as both involves obsession. OCD is a disorder that affects daily life negatively by obsessive behavior to act in a dysfunctional way including to obsessively think about theories rather than facts. Limerence is about gearing beliefs to worship the object or person that it is needed in their life as if there will be reciprocation even if there is evidence of little to no reciprocation. When obsessed with a label or feature or morals, that is more OCD than limerence. Limerence can have OCD where it is about doing a thought or behavior with the belief that they can do something to influence or control to get their obsession. OCD does not have limerence tendencies as they are trying to avoid as if for survival and comfort. OCD questions morals and reality despite continued reassurance and proof of events. Having such fears of avoiding to not be one out if your own values is OCD. It becomes so fearful it's an abuse to ones self identity by avoiding anything as long as they hope it gives them comfort even if it never gave actual comfort. So limerence would be more "i know the [subject] doesn't love me but can you -imagine- if we could?" Or "if only they changed we could be together more and now". It's a romanticized even without sexual to even a case of gaining possession through worship rather than possessive, by wanting to give and hope for reciprocation. Since there is little to no reciprocation they become sad and may affect their daily life for this daydream. Limerence is high attachment trying to be with something or something despite the abuse from the person or destruction from the object while avoiding grief of possible loss. A pedo is an adult over 18 years of age intentionally preying on or actually seeking sexual context of children under 18. I understand it that for 18 year olds may have romantices with someone around 5 years younger than them yet legally it is ill advised to pursue relationships for ethical reasons since an 18 year old is mentally more developed than their younger counterparts yet still not mature enough to understand distinction and boundaries fully about sexual preferences. Pedo rarely have remorse of their actions and continues to act such as intentionally reach out or obtain content that requires the child to be sexual rather than something platonic or parental protection and affection. When there is remorse shown it's more about excuses because they got caught, not before, during, or after their actions. They can show remorse but not feel it, if anything is just regret for getting caught rather than question if they would be labeled a pedo because they think they did no wrong. There is not a back and forth question and what if they are, they are more focused on how to not get caught by hiding despite thinking this is not an abuse on another.
So I was never diagnosed with pocd but many ppl said that I have it and my therapist also said that I have ocd, I’ve recently been getting these thoughts and feelings of attraction towards kids, idk if it’s real attraction or not, but I worry that it’s true attraction because I don’t feel panic and anxiety towards those thoughts and feelings anymore, I used to feel that, but I also never felt shame or guilt for those thoughts and feelings. I also can’t tell if I want those thoughts and feelings or not. When I get those thoughts and feelings, I tell myself “I can’t be attracted to kids” and “being attracted to kids is bad” and “I wouldn’t like kids”. The main thing is I can tell if I am attracted to the kids or not, I feel like I want to know, but I also don’t know if I want to be attracted to kids or not, yet the attraction feeling feels so genuine, I can’t tell if it’s false or not, I try to compare my attraction towards a girl my age to the feelings I get when I see the kids. I’m also under the age of 16, and I’ve heard that people under the age of 16 are at risk of developing p#dophilia, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to become a pedo. But I can’t tell what I want anymore, I can’t tell if my feelings intrusive or not. Even though some people said that I have “textbook ocd” I still don’t believe it. These feelings and thoughts, I just don’t understand if I want and like them or not, idk if I WANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. Can someone give me advice pls? ANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. I also used to watch p#rn a lot, I was exposed to it at a young age cause I was a stupid ass kid once, I got addicted to it and watched it every day, when all of these feelings and thoughts started, I completely stopped watching p#rn which fixed that, but now I’m worried it was a sign of something bad because I heard that early porn exposure creates mental issues and stuff, so I don’t know if I have pocd or actual pedophilia anymore. I’m also currently tryin to get a relationship with a girl my age. Can someone give me advice on all of this pls? Idk what all of this means anymore :(
So I was never diagnosed with pocd but many ppl said that I have it and my therapist also said that I have ocd, I’ve recently been getting these thoughts and feelings of attraction towards kids, idk if it’s real attraction or not, but I worry that it’s true attraction because I don’t feel panic and anxiety towards those thoughts and feelings anymore, I used to feel that, but I also never felt shame or guilt for those thoughts and feelings. I also can’t tell if I want those thoughts and feelings or not. When I get those thoughts and feelings, I tell myself “I can’t be attracted to kids” and “being attracted to kids is bad” and “I wouldn’t like kids”. The main thing is I can tell if I am attracted to the kids or not, I feel like I want to know, but I also don’t know if I want to be attracted to kids or not, yet the attraction feeling feels so genuine, I can’t tell if it’s false or not, I try to compare my attraction towards a girl my age to the feelings I get when I see the kids. I’m also under the age of 16, and I’ve heard that people under the age of 16 are at risk of developing p#dophilia, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to become a pedo. But I can’t tell what I want anymore, I can’t tell if my feelings intrusive or not. Even though some people said that I have “textbook ocd” I still don’t believe it. These feelings and thoughts, I just don’t understand if I want and like them or not, idk if I WANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. Can someone give me advice pls? ANT to like or want them. I also lied on 2 questions for the ocd diagnosis about liking the thoughts which I don’t know if I do or not, I said that I think I don’t when in reality I don’t know if I do or not. And the second question where I said I don’t feel aroused even though sometimes I do, idk why I get aroused for that stuff, idk if I want to be aroused or if I don’t want to be aroused. I also used to watch p#rn a lot, I was exposed to it at a young age cause I was a stupid ass kid once, I got addicted to it and watched it every day, when all of these feelings and thoughts started, I completely stopped watching p#rn which fixed that, but now I’m worried it was a sign of something bad because I heard that early porn exposure creates mental issues and stuff, so I don’t know if I have pocd or actual pedophilia anymore. I’m also currently tryin to get a relationship with a girl my age. Can someone give me advice on all of this pls? Idk what all of this means anymore :( (edited) I also keep getting thoughts of kids and I’m worried I’m attracted to a specific part of them, because most of the thoughts include that specific part of the kid. Im also attracted to that specific part on adults, but I’m worried that it’s a sign I’m a pedo because it manifests on the thoughts of kids
Having a severe ROCD episode right now. I’ve had an ROCD OBSESSION with another person for months now. I want to make it clear that not only have I made sure NOT TO act on it romantically at all, I have also made sure to NEVER EVER EVER even attempt to build a friendship with this person. I do not ever initiate conversations with them, I don’t even look at them or speak to them when i see them in person, i make sure to never be alone with them, and i never ever ever even attempt to get closer to them. My limerence extends to looking up their social media, fantasizing about them, daydreaming, and viewing their messages in a group server (where i make sure to only ever joke around with and reply to OTHER PEOPLES messages, NOT theirs (intentionally). I have told my partner ALL of this; he is aware and he told me it’s fine. However, I told him it was a crush, not limerence. And i know for a fact that the only reason this stuck around for so long was because it turned into a full-blown OCD obsession where I would constantly ruminate on my actions, wonder if it was cheating or not, and then daydreaming became a compulsion where i escaped that guilt. The thing is, I’m worried that this means I’m having some sort of internal emotional affair behind his back. I even told him this, that I’m worried I am emotionally cheating, and he told me “Okay so what? What if it’s emotional cheating? What if your biggest fear is true?” He said he cares about real actions and outcomes, not thoughts and feelings and that he doesn’t want to know what happens in my head. But I am constantly obsessing over figuring out the morality of it and if i’ve developed feelings, and if that’s unforgivable and if that counts as an emotional affair (my biggest fear).
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