Is there a link between ocd and limerence? Does it mean that you want that person in a sexual way? Can it be platonic? Can it be towards a kid? If it is towards a kids, does it make that person a p*do?
Hi Anna, OCD tries to create correlation equals causation which is not true for most things. So there isn't a link in that sense yet it is similar as both involves obsession. OCD is a disorder that affects daily life negatively by obsessive behavior to act in a dysfunctional way including to obsessively think about theories rather than facts. Limerence is about gearing beliefs to worship the object or person that it is needed in their life as if there will be reciprocation even if there is evidence of little to no reciprocation. When obsessed with a label or feature or morals, that is more OCD than limerence. Limerence can have OCD where it is about doing a thought or behavior with the belief that they can do something to influence or control to get their obsession. OCD does not have limerence tendencies as they are trying to avoid as if for survival and comfort. OCD questions morals and reality despite continued reassurance and proof of events. Having such fears of avoiding to not be one out if your own values is OCD. It becomes so fearful it's an abuse to ones self identity by avoiding anything as long as they hope it gives them comfort even if it never gave actual comfort. So limerence would be more "i know the [subject] doesn't love me but can you -imagine- if we could?" Or "if only they changed we could be together more and now". It's a romanticized even without sexual to even a case of gaining possession through worship rather than possessive, by wanting to give and hope for reciprocation. Since there is little to no reciprocation they become sad and may affect their daily life for this daydream. Limerence is high attachment trying to be with something or something despite the abuse from the person or destruction from the object while avoiding grief of possible loss. A pedo is an adult over 18 years of age intentionally preying on or actually seeking sexual context of children under 18. I understand it that for 18 year olds may have romantices with someone around 5 years younger than them yet legally it is ill advised to pursue relationships for ethical reasons since an 18 year old is mentally more developed than their younger counterparts yet still not mature enough to understand distinction and boundaries fully about sexual preferences. Pedo rarely have remorse of their actions and continues to act such as intentionally reach out or obtain content that requires the child to be sexual rather than something platonic or parental protection and affection. When there is remorse shown it's more about excuses because they got caught, not before, during, or after their actions. They can show remorse but not feel it, if anything is just regret for getting caught rather than question if they would be labeled a pedo because they think they did no wrong. There is not a back and forth question and what if they are, they are more focused on how to not get caught by hiding despite thinking this is not an abuse on another.
Hi everyone, I have been struggling with something for a while and I am starting to wonder if it is related to OCD. For as long as I can remember, I have had this habit of looking at people, whether friends, family, or strangers and even kids, through a lens that feels like it is from the perspective of someone who might find them attractive or sexualize them. I don’t want to feel attracted; it just feels like my brain automatically puts them in that perspective. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, and I honestly thought it was just part of me being curious or creative. I have always thought this was just a quirk of my brain, but now I am starting to wonder if it is an OCD thing, especially since it feels automatic and I get anxious afterward. Has anyone else experienced this? I did not think this was part of OCD, but now I am not so sure.
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
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