If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
I understand your point of view š Hereās my take on this: Having a significant change in your life (like someoneās sexuality) is often scary in general. Add Ocd into the mix- and it becomes extra terrifying. OCD naturally sends us a lot of doubt, anxiety and fearful feelings and thatās not our fault. Itās just part of having the disorder. Itās scary to be extremely doubtful that youāre a whole different identity that you actually are not in reality. Iāve even seen a story of a gay man with sexual orientation OCD and he was terrified of becoming straight and having to break up with his male partner. Would we call him āstraight-phobicā? No that would be silly š We would be sympathetic towards him. So why do straight people with the same exact Ocd theme get called homophobic and they are criticized? (Because the two situations are pretty much the same, just different sexualities involved)
its not necessarily a fear of being queer in any way, more so that maybe the life you are living is a lie and what you thought you knew, you actually dont. for me, its terrifying that I may be a lesbian because I have a male partner and i love him, but the scary thing is "what if I'm experiencing comp het and I dont actually love him." the idea around it is still that fear a of uncertainty, but its focused on your identity and would often change the meaning of your relationships. Great question though, because HOCD often gets misunderstood and people are scared to speak out about it for fear of sounding homophobic or worried that it makes them bad person. The same thing can happen with gender identity too!
Sexual orientation OCD isn't always a straight person who's scared they might be gay. There are people on here who *are* gay and are scared they might be straight.
Yes but straight people never receive marginalization on the basis of identity, a gay person's OCD about sexuality would be from self-doubt whereas a "straight" person anxiety and shame about the possibility of being homosexual.
@HenryT I mean, I know there are people whose SOOCD is rooted in homophobia (I've encountered them on here LOL), but it's not fair to say it always is. I think it's more often about fear of one's sense of self changing and not fear of being gay.
but I am also queer, and one thing that helped me through this is to realize that I dont necessarily connect with lables, and trying to put myself into a box didn't help my need for certainty and reassurance that it was the "right" thing to call myself.
Iām 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Donāt get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you wonāt prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you havenāt tried it: and itās that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I donāt want I donāt want I donāt want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I donāt wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
I cant afford therapy which is why iām not diagnosed with ocd. The first time i had heard what ocd was truly abt was 6 years ago when i overthinking my sexual identity and it fit. Additionally, i struggle with debilitating health anxiety and when i was in a rlt i was extremely anxious that i might not love my partner. This is the third year i experience distress around my sexuality but this year it feels real. And it could also explain my rlt anxiety. Comphet is a concept that really scares me. I dont want to be with a girl. I would rather die than discover i was lesbian. I cant accept uncertainty cz i dont want to be homosexual. Chat GPT told me it wasnt ocd + the thoughts dont distress me anymore. I experience 3 intense weeks of anxiety prior to now. Maybe its internalized homophobia. Maybe its comphet. I do find women to be attractive but i dont wanna be with them. Maybe iām in denial. Idk anything anymore. Iām remembering times where i would find an actress attractive and try to shift my focus towards the man cz it would make me anxious. Iām not well at all.
So Iāve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a womanās body disgusting. Looking back in my life Iāve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I canāt remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people canāt get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations donāt mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when ātesting my reactionsā and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. Thatās not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
