Issues with my parents

Hey all this is my first post so i’m kind of nervous. I’d like to hear feedback from outside sources and people not directly in my life who might be biased. I am not sure if this is an OCD thing or maybe just an anxiety thing but I would love some advice. I am a night owl and the rest of my family is not. I’m an adult who still lives with my parents since i’m saving money to move out. Every night I stay up until around 12:30 in our living room to relax and wind down with a quiet house (like my own me-time) and then go to bed. My parent’s room is right off the living room and they close their door while I’m awake so they can sleep. They told me not to be up past midnight since their room gets “too stuffy” with the door closed. I haven’t been doing well with midnight but try my best to shut everything off by 12:30 at the latest. They got mad that I don’t listen and now say I am not allowed in the living room after they go to bed. So when they go to bed I have to confine myself to my bedroom. I like my routines and thinking about trying to wind down (by reading or crocheting) in my bed feels wrong because my bed is “for sleeping” only. I feel like I don’t have a comforting safe place to relax before bed now and when I have tried to explain that to them they don’t care and say i’m disrespecting them. I’m curious what you might think about the situation and would appreciate feedback, regardless if i’m in the wrong or not. It makes me wish I didn’t live here but I don’t really have anywhere else to go.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 26w

I am sorry you are having a difficult time right now. I don’t know whether this is OCD or not, I would say that your parents are entitled to set a boundary that says they are happy to accommodate your late nights until 12:30 but after that it is too uncomfortable temperature wise to continue to keep their door closed and sleep comfortably. You say you like your routines - and so in fairness I would say so do your parents. Perhaps coming to some agreement with them so that all of you feel respected. I would challenge you to rethink whether it is wrong to read or crochet in bed. Why is that ? That may be an OCD issue - I don’t know - but it may be.

daughterofsk...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 26w

@Jeffrey i appreciate the feedback. i may look into the issue of reading in bed with my therapist. i used to stay up playing video games in bed and one time i had a panic attack while doing so, so i stopped and made my bed just for sleeping. i think that could be the underlying cause for the discomfort. my parents wont come to an agreement because they said i disrespected them and now im just not allowed in the living room after they go to bed (usually around 10) and when ive tried to compromise they just said i blew my chance :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 26w

Could you create your own quiet reading space in your room? Maybe put a comfy chair or a big bean bag in a corner of your room. A small, cozy niche for reading and relaxing. Have a reading light and maybe a candle, fancy glass for your water, etc. That could give you and your parents what you all want/need.

daughterofsk...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 26w

@Anonymous unfortunately i have a small room and a lot of space is taken up by my book shelves and some other furniture. but maybe i can do that with my bed and set it up in a way that’s like a little nook for reading. i appreciate the advice :)

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