Please help

@Danie-Rae Thank you so much for the response. When you say don’t do the compulsions like don’t over wash or clean things? I’ve tried to do that but then the contamination is the only thing on my mind and it gets bigger until I clean everything.

@Estrid Thank you so much for your response I really appreciate it. The thing is I’m fine with my own laundry but seeing others laundry bothers me so much. I don’t know how to go about erp with this

@ynnej Get you - but it's the same process. I live in a house with shared washing machine - many neighbours. Some if them put their dirty laundry in the basket where I put my clean and wet laundry before drying it. I just have to not care. Just an example - most people don't care.

@Estrid I see thank you for your story. How did you get here? I’ve been doing erp since like last October and the theme kind of just keeps switching. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away. I’m tired of this lol

@Estrid Also I was to say it’s taken over pretty much my whole life at home. Any time I’m home I have to record my every move to make sure I didn’t go to the laundry basket. I get so scared and if I’m home I try to avoid getting up and I tie my foot down so I know I can’t go anywhere. The thing is I’m fine when I go to stores or whatever because I know the laundry won’t be there

@ynnej I’m really scared, I start school soon again and I don’t know how I’ll manage doing compulsions and school and everything

@ynnej I am so sorry you are having such a hard time! Do you have a therapist? I wrote down every compulsion and stopped them gradually. My worst and last exposure on thus theme was to put on the clothes from the laundry basket with dirty clothes. I wore them for a day - and then the pattern of compulsions were broken. You must stop your compulsive behavior even if it feels terrible - with time your brain will learn that it's nothing to be anxious about. You should go to the basket, pick up something and not wash your hands afterwards. You can do it in small steps. Remind yourself that you have OCD and you are worthy of a life in freedom. It's important for you to go to school. You are stronger than you know! If you have a therapist talk about it, be honest, reach out for guidance.

@Estrid I do have a therapist and have been in therapy since October, but my themes keep switching and I’ve struggled for many months with little improvement. I feel like a lost cause I don’t know what to do

@Estrid I think I should mention I’m not afraid of t shirts or pants or anything like that, I’m afraid of specific articles of clothing that are actually gross in the laundry basket

@ynnej Get you - but it doesn't matter - your therapist should be able to help you. Even if your theme switches - OCD is OCD: always allow the thoughts and resist the compulsions.

@Estrid I don’t know if I am not finding the right therapist or if it’s me.

@ynnej If it's hard for you it isn't that you are wrong. Is your therapist a OCD therapist?

@Estrid Yes I have a therapist on nocd lol

@Estrid Omg I’m so scared right now, so I went downstairs to look for something and there was a pile of dirty laundry and there was like specific items and it’s scaring me

@Estrid I didn’t wash my hands because I’m pretty sure my hand didn’t touch it but now I’m scared I don’t know for sure if my hand went in the dirty laundry or not

@ynnej Get you. OCD wants you to react. You don't need to. Have you trued the SOS button here in the app - guiding you how to sit with uncertainty. When OCD ask you things like this - don't answer, or say "maybe, I don't know and I don't care" - of course you care, but act as you don't. Put your attention onto something you have to do.

@Estrid lol thank you I am ok now

@ynnej So anytime I get a thought I should just try to not care? What if it’s super gross. Like let’s say I see an image of me putting my hand somewhere actually really gross, then I get worried that my hand actually went there. In that case what should I do? I should say maybe maybe not??? But if it was true I’d wash my hands

@ynnej If you can see dirt on your hands or if you actually know you are dirty or are going to cook food - you can wash yoyr hands. But never because you just feel discomfort. You can say naybe, maybe not - but don't just use it as a mantra, it's about the attitude, that you act as you don't care. With time your emotions will calm down.

@Estrid I can’t tell the difference between my thoughts and what’s actually happened. I see images of my hand going into the laundry and I don’t know if it’s real or not so then I just wash my hands just in case, if that makes sense??

@ynnej Doesn't matter if you have touched rhe laundry - it's the wrong question. "Just in case" = OCD You know if you are dirty/see dirt or not if you aren't blind. OCD makes you doubt your senses.

@Estrid Today I didn’t do the recording compulsion. Well like I did but then somehow it didn’t record so that raised my anxiety a little bit now I’m fine

@ynnej I’m confused because normally I would be so stressed

@ynnej I don't understand, "recording"?

@Estrid So normally every time I get up, even if it’s to do something as simple as go get water, I use my phone to video record so that I know that I really went to go get water or whatever it was. It’s a way of double checking and making sure I was never near the laundry basket

@Estrid That’s why most of the day I try to sit down at my desk and tie my leg down so I can’t go anywhere

@ynnej Recording multiple times a day takes up phone storage and recently I’ve been running out of storage, so I reduce the amount of times I record by just sitting at my desk and not moving around my house

@ynnej Get you. This is s compulsion!! You have to stop doing this. No more recording! You feed ypur OCD by doing that. You shall move around the house snd show your OCD that you are the boss! Talk about it with your therapist. You can't get rid of your OCD if you continue to do this. You have to develope trust in your senses, common sense and so forth.

@Estrid Hahaha I wish I was the boss but I can’t even move freely around the house. Lol I will say outside my house I’m completely fine. Whenever I go to the store, or go any place I’m fine because I know the laundry won’t be there. It’s only in my own house that I can’t move freely around

@ynnej I just see an image or an action play out in my head and then it’s hard to tell if it really happened or not

@Estrid Thank you so much for you’re responses though

@ynnej You are welcome. I know how hard it is believe me. But don't say "I can't" - you have to chose to act in another way. When we face our fears they disappear with time. Doesn't matter if you get the images in your head - this is OCD-nonsens, be honest with your therapist o do the hard work - you are worthy of freedom." If it happened or not" - doesn't matter. At all.

@Estrid Thank you for sharing your experience too. I’m so lost when it comes to all this. I don’t know what my future looks like at this rate lol, it’s scary. Recently I’ve been crying everyday because I’m so worried about how I’ll get by when I have school in a few weeks

@Estrid For some reason it’s only a specific thing in the laundry that bothers me?? I don’t know why

@ynnej Sometimes there are traumas in our lifes that interfere with our symptoms. They need soecial therapy. Talk to your therapist.

@ynnej I'm so sorry you are in this pain - I do hope you'll reach out for help. Maybe another therapist.

@Estrid I see thank you for the advice