Is it normal to analyze every thought & feeling you have? For example. If I had a feeling like I wanted to flirt or if I felt like I wasn’t sad when my partner left for the night ETC. I over analyze these and they lead me to thinking I’m a bad partner or it’s not the right relationship. This scares me so bad Is this basically ROCD in a nutshell? It feels so overwhelming when thinking about all the different feelings and thoughts I’ve had over time
that’s totally normal and i still go thru it slightly. in the beginning i used to freak out because sometimes i didn’t wanna kiss. so those moments are completely normal
@1twilightloverr It’s like every single feeling I blow up into a big deal and over analyze it
@Mk3 i do as well! it’s all about recognizing that and just telling yourself it’s not as big as you think it is and move on
OCD makes us overanalyze every tiny thing
@Tea and Honey I feel so overwhelmed with all the different feelings I’ve had because I’ve looked so far into each of them. I just worry certain feelings mean I’m in the wrong relationship or I’m a Bad partner
@Mk3 I have learned that when we have OCD, most of our feelings don't mean anything. This is especially true when your feelings go against something you really want. (For example, you want to stay in the relationship, but you are afraid your OCD feelings are telling you to get out of the relationship.) In these cases, it's best to treat the feelings like intrusive thoughts. You can notice that they are there, but you don't act on them. You allow the feelings to be as mean, negative, or crazy as they want to be (just like intrusive thoughts). And you just keep on ignoring them and living your life exactly the way you want to. I have negative feelings almost every day. I just let them sit there. Try not to figure out your feelings. Try not to analyze them or look into them. We can never figure out our thoughts and feelings when we have OCD :):):):) and we make ourselves exhausted when we try.
@Tea and Honey Okay thank you so much for the advice. So for example- just because I feel like I wanted to flirt with someone else (it was a real feeling) doesn’t mean anything about my relationship because I love my partner so much. The fact that they are real feelings is confusing
@Mk3 Yes!!!!!!! That is totally correct!!!!! Keep applying this truth whenever your OCD wants to tell you that you are in a bad relationship. You are not in a bad relationship. The OCD just wants to take the things you love away from you (like your relationship)
@Tea and Honey Yes my ocd is trying to tell me that because sometimes I have feelings that make me uncomfortable it must mean I’m not in the right relationship etc. And that is just wrong!
You are correct!!!!!!!! Exactly!! 😀😀😀 Keep standing your ground against the OCD. Keep going forward !!!
@Tea and Honey Thank you so much for supporting me
@Mk3 Happy to support you! I know what it is like to suffer with this sort of thing.
@Tea and Honey it’s terrible! and like you’ve helped me before with the mean thoughts I have those don’t have to matter either! But my ocd wants them to matter. It’s all a big game!
@Mk3 Yes!!!!! It's all a big game. It's all smoke and mirrors. The OCD's job is to trick us into its little traps and make us miserable. But we can stop playing OCD's games. We cannot stop the bad thoughts or feelings--but we can stop responding to them. And we can go on and live our lives exactly the way we want to--and just slap OCD right in the face. We don't have to obey the OCD rules!
@Tea and Honey Right. Because ocd wants all the thoughts and feelings to matter so much when really they don’t. That’s the trick! And when the ocd tries to tell me that it is a bigger problem my therapist encouraged me to “take the risk” because that’s how I’ll eventually find my way to recovery I guess. By taking the risk that my thoughts could be a problem etc
@Mk3 Yes!!!! Exactly!!!! You have nailed it. The OCD's trick is telling you that the thoughts and feelings matter, when they actually don't. And when OCD tells you that it's a bigger problem, you absolutely have to "take the risk." In fact, "taking the risk" is the pathway out of OCD. 😀😀😀
@Tea and Honey We should do a post about that !
@Tea and Honey Yes because by taking the risk, you essentially cut out compulsions in my opinion!
@Mk3 Done! I posted something Yes !! You are right 😀😀💙
@Tea and Honey Love it! If I just start taking the risk that this could mean im not in right relationship blah blah blah the list goes on then that will loosen the ocd grip. And take the risk that it could be a problem essentially
@Mk3 Yes! Even if you don't FEEL like taking the risk, take the risk anyway. My OCD is religious, and it always says I am going to hell. But I know I am not. But the OCD will mess with my feelings, telling me I am doomed. The OCD will always find ways to DOUBT. (That's why it's called the "doubting disease.") But that's why it is very powerful to just make decisions that are based on truth, not OCD. I decided that I was going to believe that my salvation is secure, even though my FEELINGS keep plaguing me sometimes. In your case, you can make the decision to stay in the relationship (take the risk that it is a bad relationship). You can do this even if your feelings scream at you, or even if the OCD pitches a giant fit. You make the DECISION to "take the risk". And then you ignore your feelings and ignore all the protests of the OCD.
@Tea and Honey If it turns out to be a bad relationship, you can deal with that later. Right now, you make a decision to take the risk
@Tea and Honey And then once you made the decision, don't go back and question it 1,000 times like always want to do! I have learned that once I make a decision, I can't allow myself to go back and check it. Once you make a decision, tell yourself NO CHECKING! You are not allowed to go back and check it or revisit it or keep waffling back and forth. Make a decision, then go forward. Don't look back!!
@Tea and Honey Right I essentially take the risk that I could be a bad partner or in the wrong relationship because of my thoughts/feelings but I stay anyways because I love him! And I essentially will ignore all the thoughts and feelings that come my way bc ocd will want me to think that they matter and pay attention to them. No matter what the thought or feeling is! Is that what ur saying?
@Mk3 Yes!!!! You nailed it! That's it!!! :):):)
@Tea and Honey I think it’s also helpful to label the guilt from the thoughts as a symptom of ocd!
@Mk3 Yes!!!!!! That is super helpful
@Tea and Honey Oh and I forgot to add- no matter if the thought or feeling is real or not- I’m also going to stop all that nonsense and just let it be
@Mk3 Perfect!! Excellent!!! 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
@Mk3 So good to hear all this. Makes me happy to see you killing the OCD
@Tea and Honey I’m trying!!! 😃❤️I think my therapist also probably meant for me to take the risk as in- take the risk in not confessing. That’s a huge factor for me as well
@Mk3 Yep, not confessing is "taking the risk." And that's the right thing to do. The confessions usually end up hurting other people. Therefore, it's best not to confess. It can make you feel very anxious inside to not confess. But it will get easier over time. You will never know for 100 percent sure that everything is okay, but take the risk anyway and refuse to confess. Over time, it will all get easier and easier. You are starting to see through the OCD's tricks. If you can do that, the OCD will lose power over you.
@Tea and Honey Also….. sometimes I think why not just ask for various opinions of people to see if what I’m thinking or feeling is good or bad. But then I remember that OCD makes these thoughts feel important to me, but not to these other people. So asking their opinion is probably useless and not helpful to consider! Do you have any advice on this
Yes, I think if it's OCD thoughts then you don't need to get other people's opinions. That is because the OCD thoughts aren't even real! So you don't have to analyze them. You can just let them go. However, I do think it's okay to get some reassurance. People are always afraid of trying to use reassurance as a compulsion, and I understand that. But sometimes we just need REASSURANCE , not as a compulsion, but because we are struggling and our hearts are hurting. And I think that's okay
@Mk3 That sounds awesome!!!!!!!!! Sounds perfect
@Tea and Honey Great! I just can’t get reassurance yanno cause I can’t confess to my partner! But I understand getting reassurance maybe from outside sources like friends! Is that what u meant?! Although I try to avoid doing this as well it usually makes stuff worse lol
@Mk3 I think you should do whatever is helpful. Everything within the OCD cycle is about fear and compulsions. We don't wanna get reassurance out of a compulsion. Everything within the OCD cycle is ultimately not helpful to us or the people we love. So you definitely don't want to get reassurances from your partner if that is not helpful. But sometimes reassurance from other people can help our souls, if it is not driven by OCD and is a genuine need. If getting reassurance is helpful for you, that's okay. If it's part of the OCD cycle, it's best to try to starve the pull toward reassurance.
@Tea and Honey OCD will never be helpful, so we can try to avoid all of it
Yes I’m afraid that everything for me is related to the OCD cycle.
@Mk3 Me too!!!! lol 😀😀
@Tea and Honey I honestly think my brain just wants to think of stuff that it knows will make me feel bad.
@Mk3 Yes!!!!!!!! That's exactly the job of OCD. It just wants to make us miserable and stuck and feel bad. Every day, 24 hours a day, OCD is working on our lives just to make a slaves to its control and to make us feel bad about ourselves.
@Tea and Honey And we recognize that, it helps us to disobey it and try to get out from under its control
@Tea and Honey Right. Like now I’m hyper focused and criticizing different features of my partners face…… like what Again- it feels very terrible and like it matters which I should probably take the risk and ignore all this!!!!! But this feels different as if my brain wants me to suffer. I thought doing this was a compulsion but I’m not even sure what it is. Sometimes stuff like this I just put away in my OCD bubble. Lol
@Mk3 Yep!!!!! Exactly!!!! I think there's a lot of things within the OCD sphere that we can't really categorize, but it's OCD nonetheless. I think it is an AWESOME idea to just put things like that in the OCD bubble. And then just forget about them, because anything within the OCD bubble is meaningless and doesn't matter.
@Tea and Honey I am trying to do that too, even when I can't categorize what is happening. I'm trying to learn to tell myself that if it's OCD, no matter what it is, that I need to just drop it and move on with my day.
@Tea and Honey I'm not super good at this though, lol
@Tea and Honey Yes at this point anything that distresses me about the topic, I’m putting in the bubble regardless. Everything’s going in there lol. Therefore- I’m not trying to figure out what’s real/not or anything about it
@Mk3 That is perfect!!!! Absolutely spot on! You are really progressing down the road of recovery. That is awesome!!! It feels good to shut OCD down in the areas where it previously used to win!
@Tea and Honey We really all should be getting mad at our OCD. It's like a dominating, controlling monster. If we could just get mad at all the tricks it tries to do to keep us miserable, we could defeat it more and more.
@Tea and Honey Hi again! I was wondering if you could explain more about how to use ERP and what u mean by they are OCD thoughts?? I’m struggling yet again with the same thing of thinking my partners ugly. It’s terrifying. I was doing great taking the risk & then my OCD finds many ways to make me freak out again of course. My thought feels so real and true and other times (not as often) I can see it as irrational! I started freaking out about people having different opinions but realize they don’t know my brain
@Mk3 The OCD is like a giant octopus. We start defeating it, and then it reaches up another arm that feels may be slightly different, and we start falling for its traps again. In someways it's like the game "whack-a-mole". We beat some of it down and then we find out that we have to do it again and again because OCD keeps coming back. Don't be discouraged by that though. We're actually making progress even though it feels like we're going in circles a bit. It's just that progress is not linear. There's a lot of circling back and taking care of things and there's a lot of, recognizing the different arms that OCD throws at us. So help me understand more… So you feel like the thoughts of your partner being ugly might be real and might be OCD, and you are not sure?
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
Sometimes I think I truly think negative thoughts about my bf but I feel it could be because of how obsessive I am over the thought. Does that make any sense ??? Like I genuinely think it often but only because of how obsessed I am over it
Hi everyone, I’ve already been diagnosed with OCD, and I strongly suspect that I’ve developed a ROCD pattern. I wanted to share a specific situation that just won’t leave me alone – even though it’s objectively been cleared up. I’m in a relationship with a man who is, by nature, a very transparent, honest, and loyal person. Rationally, I know I can trust him. Recently, he got a phone call while I was with him. I asked him to check who it was. He hesitated briefly and then checked kind of slowly – the number wasn’t saved. To me, the whole thing just felt a bit strange. It didn’t seem like “open behavior,” even though he told me afterward that he simply didn’t have the energy to deal with it, since he had generally had a bad day. The problem is: Even after this explanation – which makes sense – the thoughts won’t go away. I keep replaying the situation in my head, analyzing his reaction, wondering if that hesitation meant something – even though I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I feel like I need to bring it up again to feel at ease. But I also know that would only bring temporary relief, and then the cycle would start all over again. It feels just like other OCD loops – only this time, it’s centered around my relationship. Have any of you experienced something like this? How do you stop yourself from falling into the reassurance trap over and over again? I don’t want to overwhelm or hurt my partner unnecessarily – I just want to learn how to manage this inner tension better. did it sound like ocd?? Rocd?? Thanks for reading. It really helps to know I’m not alone. (edited)
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