- Date posted
- Yesterday
Curious about ERP
I'm just laying here avoiding being an adult and wondering if during ERP the therapists are mean. Like, is it a "tough love" type of situation? That makes me anxious
I'm just laying here avoiding being an adult and wondering if during ERP the therapists are mean. Like, is it a "tough love" type of situation? That makes me anxious
No, not mean. Unless they are insulting you in some way. You are being challenged and that can feel like an attack. And it is also life-changing, which means you have to ultimately be on top of things and do the hard work (which takes a lot of time and energy) in order to get better, but it’s definitely worth it.
Definitely not mean! I think it can be hard to not feel “attacked” sometimes when your compulsions are being challenged, but to truly benefit from ERP I do believe you need to be open to feedback and constructive criticism. ERP is a slow burn, my therapist pushes me but also respects my boundaries and will stop if I feel triggered. For me, it comes down to communication and self advocacy :))
Thank you! I'm bad at self advocacy but maybe I can improve with time.
The right therapist knows how to read where you're at and meet you there. Personal experience is that my therapist pushes me when I need to be pushed when he knows I can handle it, but I have been going there for a long time
But he has never ever been mean. I would absolutely walk away from a therapist I thought was terrible. I've walked away from a doctor like that before. Listen to yourself
You will know when it's the right one! And ERP they know is hard. But you gotta do the eork
Some therapist can deliver it in different ways. But ERP has definitely saved me. Start slow and then build your way up if you’re having trouble with the homework, they are giving. Just don’t stop. The more you get used to doing things that make you feel uncomfortable And sitting with the discomfort the stronger you will become I promise. And it’s OK if you mess up and give into a compulsion. Don’t let that derail you. Just keep continuing the practice overtime. You will see how beneficial it is. And then you will be the one commenting on peoples posts to help them.
COULD NOT AGREE WITH THIS MORE
ERP is meant to be a teamwork. If the therapist is mean, walk away!! I have done that...but it was many years ago. You deserve a kind therapist who get that you have to work together. In my last therapy I decided what exposures to do and how fast. It's totally normally to feel anxious before starting therapy, you are in good company.
I believe in tough ❤️ but I also believe in you should be able to accept what you dish out. (Not saying this toward therapist). I was thinking about a family member that I needed help from, few months later she needed me in the same exact way and I regurgitated her words back to her. I love those moments in life! When people need you they NEED you. Why make things harder for them or make them feel worse asking for help. I hate people that do that. Makes you jump through hoops of fire, giving you all sort of details to judge you and make you feel worse. Ugh! Who needs that $#@! ? Tough love... I believe, is an opportunity for you to teach a person "how to s". People who have a hard time listening to suggestions otherwise but is more open to "hear you" and more willing to try it a different way. But not to be used as a beat down. GUIDANCE <==> SHOW ME HOW
@sophea, everything that I don't want to do is boring to me. Lol But I do get some reaction from them especially when I first started them. Now it like... this is stupid to keep look at this? So do I change it? I'm still having trouble identifying my triggers. I've had anxiety soooooooo long (all my life) and it's ALWAYS high so I can't tell what is a trigger for me?
@Not2Day If you had a reaction before and now you're not, it's time to move up to more difficult exposures. Working your way up the hierarchy. And instead of thinking about what causes anxiety, think about what causes *compulsions*. This is something a therapist would usually help you with, which helps a lot, - especially if you're new to ERP - and I'd assume you're doing it on your own from your phrasing, which makes it less effective, unfortunately.
It's important to have a strategy implemented by ACT - by that I mean that the therapist should guide you to do exposures that give meaning to your life, in line with your values - so that you feel motivated to do the hard work.
ERP doesn't seem to work for me. It's seem mediocre at best. I do it because I know me. It's a boring, silly task that I feel takes up too much of my time that I can be doing something else that has priority (in my head). But it could be just me of course because I don't enjoy doing it, it doesn't seem natural to me and I'm in my head saying, "this is stupid. " But I have to do things that I don't want to do because what I have been doing apparently is not working? 🤷🏽♀️
@Anonymous If the tasks are "boring" and "silly" to you, you're probably doing exposures that are too easy. For most people, doing exposures with be quite upsetting, not boring. If your exposures aren't challenging you, of course they aren't effective.
Seeking new therapist that I can afford.
So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?
Can I hear some examples of specific parts of ERP that has helped you? I've been doing talk therapy for a few years and the major issue I have with it is that I already have analyzed all of my problems from every angle, so I'm kind of just sitting there yapping about it for an hour. I need solutions and things that make me feel better.
I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️
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