Last week was a lot easier for me. I felt like thoughts didn’t control me and my actions as much as they did earlier. Today was really hard for me and I feel like I’m starting to lose hope again:( I can’t take the thoughts and the feelings that come with them anymore. I feel like I have failed and I’m never going to be happy again.
That is 100% normal. I’ve had good days weeks and months even years. OCD likes to rear head up. Especially when we’re doing well. It’s like our brain thinking something’s wrong when we’re relaxed. Overtime we can rewire our brain for that to stop. But just remember the ERP and the practices your therapist gave you. Use mindfulness and remind yourself that you’ve been here before and it will pass. We all have setbacks. The important thing is to keep moving forward. I know it’s overwhelming and unfair for us, but we have to be strongest at our weakest. When I feel overwhelmed or angry that I have this, I actually thank God. Which seems crazy. I am a religious person. But I have recently started to see this as a blessing. As painful as it is, maybe we were was given this so we could help other people. Good luck. Keep going!
@BMace Thank you so much:)
I wonder myself if ocd was meant for us to help others. I am Catholic and I think what you said is not only a possibility but it is a healthy way to look at something that we know can really be difficult to deal with. We have ocd, other pelple have other issues but I believe how you look at ocd or whatever difficulties may come your way throughout your life can also help you handle or deal with ocd or whatever difficulties you are living with. Looking at it as a blessing and a way to help others is very healthy and helpful way to view ocd. Sometimes like reading what you wrote, I look at .yself and my ocd issues. Of course I wish I never had it. However, then I look at others in the world who have it way worse than me and I think if they can handle what hand they were dealt I can try my very best to handle ocd. I am not saying it is always going to be easy. I am saying I am going to take one day at a time and I think that is a good way to do it. I wish you well!!!!!
I have this happen, too. Every day is not always the same and I know I feel sad, too, when I feel I have made progress for a day or a week, etc and then I have a day where things are harder. I guess I would say to you or anyone out there to sit with how you are feeling that day and all that is happening that particular hard day but remember that this is only temporary. It will pass as each day does and you will come out on the other side stronger for it. During those days or times that are harder, try to do something positive or something you like or enjoy.....not to use as a distraction from OCD, but rather just because you want to do it. I hope this helps and I wish you well!!
@Anonymous Thank you:)
I’m wondering if you can identify anything that’s different this week. Did you get enough sleep? Did you eat more junk food? Have you been under more stress? Did you go for more walks? Basic things like sleep, food, and movement can make a difference. And sometimes we just have bad days/weeks. But feelings change all the time—you won’t always feel this way. And right now it doesn’t feel like that, but really, feelings our temporary. Hang in there—things will get better.
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
My mental health is declining due to ocd. It’s like a huge mix between ocd episode and depression wave. I feel weak and hopeless. I wanna cry. I’m exhausted . I feel like I’ve lost myself again.
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
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