Tomorrow is my college graduation

Today I had a big learning moment. My ocd had been getting better these past few weeks and things have been looking up but today i was struggling. I stayed in bed all day super bored and my ocd flared up really bad. Looking back at my day now i feel bad how I handled certain situations.. im just going to look at it as a learning moment and handle bad days differently. Everyday can't be great, I have lots of things im looking forwards to and i know tomorrow will be better. Recovery isn't a straight line

In a weeks I will traver around Europe with an interrail pass. My fear focus in the idea that if I am really tired and anxious will get 1. Depressed and I will not be able to do nothing 2. Start a new OCD spiral so intense that can make me suicidal. Last year before going to an specialist and understand how OCD works I studied in other country for summer, I was living alone and OCD was terrible at a point that I was writing all days to not emergency hotlines because I had this fear that the feelings I was having would be forever This experience has follow me in all my travels and, this being the most difficult, is again, playing with me. I will travel, I don't want my OCD to stop me doing things I really want but the closer the day gets, the more the excitement about the trip fades. So yes this travel is perfect for ERP but at the same time I am anxious about finding balance between resting but without it becoming an avoidance (that summer I also didn't go on many excursions due to exhaustion so I don't want this to happen to me again and spent all my day in the hostel sleeping) When I travel with other people I force myself to be functional which help to enjoy more my travels but alone... like right now takes me 1 hour to wake up in my house because of morning anxiety, being tired will do this more difficult If you have tips or experience I will be glad. Even with fear I want to do this travel

Hi! 1 month in to ERP for drug and alcohol contamination, and I’m wondering if this is excepted with therapy/ progression. Obviously, when I am exposed to both of my triggers I get extremely overwhelmed, go mute, explore lots and lots of self hate, and then BOOM I’m hysterically sobbing and inconsolable. These episodes last what feel like forever ( very similar to a panic attack), but eventually stop and then I go back to my normal self. I feel very embarrassed, ashamed, and almost disgusted with the fact that I had the specific breakdown for like 1 hour post breakdown. Now, if I’m stressed, mentally/ emotionally exhausted, in a new or unfamiliar place, God forbid having to travel, the same thing happens. I am unsure if it’s because it’s a “disruption” from my normal, or if my mind is trying to protect me or what. Does this happen to anyone else? My best friend gets married in less than 1 month, and the wedding is in Charleston. I haven’t been there since another bachelorette trip that I took, but when we were there, I was taking Prozac and Rexulti ( psychiatrist put me on it for “paranoia” when in reality it was my OCD 🙃) well I ended up going into serotonin syndrome and stopped both meds and started back on Lexapro. Needless to say, I don’t have the best memories associated with Charleston bc I had a panic attack there, was around alcohol, loud environments, and my mind has convinced me it’s not a safe place for me. Does anyone have any advice on preparing for the trip, being away, and staying somewhere I am scared of? I need to be the beat version of myself as it is my best friend’s wedding, and I want to love her well