ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

Holliea12

Date posted: 10d

I have rocd really bad too, mine revolves around cheating and such, and it can be so stressful. I had to delete so many apps I had that I would use to play games or create fictional stories on because I felt like I was cheating even though so many times my boyfriend said it wasn’t. Typical ocd with those “What ifs” you aren’t alone 🌸

Dalia H.

Date posted: 10d

Hey I have been dealing with on-and-off ROCD episodes since my partner and I got together 3 years ago. While I normally deal with cheating-focused ROCD, I have gone through the exact obsession that you described in your post. It is absolutely TERRIFYING and I just want to warn you that your obsession can make you start feeling things (or lack thereof) that you WOULD NOT otherwise feel. I think that when you obsess so strongly over feelings and are constantly hyper-vigilant about them, your mind might even start crafting artificial feelings of apathy, indifference, repulsion, or even animosity towards your partner. I obsessed so hard one time that it got to the point where my partner didn’t even feel real anymore, like I couldn’t even picture his face. I just want to tell you that because if you do start feeling these things, remember that OCD can make you feel this way. It is totally understandable to start thinking of a last-resort solution to get away from the anxiety (breaking up). And I just want to remind you that it’s normal! It feels like an escape. But please remember to not ever make any rash decisions while in the middle of an episode. The way that I finally got through this obsession was this: I internalized the following sentiment: “You know what, maybe I really have lost feelings. Maybe I’m no longer in love, maybe I’m not attracted anymore. But, I am going to make the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to stay present in this relationship. It’s a choice now, it’s a voluntary commitment I am making and I’m gonna stick through no matter what.” This helped me a lot because it gave me a game plan as to what I WILL do in terms of actions. And it also helped me to separate the actions of a relationship from the internal feelings towards a partner. If i tell myself that I WILL stay no matter how my feelings change, eventually I stop focusing on analyzing these feelings since I already decided that them changing wouldn’t change my actions.

cmax20

Date posted: 10d

@Dalia H. I’m just so scared that if I tell myself I’ve lost feeling a then it will end up being true. Like I’m manifesting my relationship ending. And it scares me because if I don’t have him I will be so alone because I don’t have any friends other than the people I work with but they never really talk to me outside of work. I’m so so so scared I’m a terrible person because he is so in love with me and I love him too I just get so overwhelmed that I feel like I don’t know what to do. But I do know that ocd attacks the things we care most about so that reminds me how much u do care about him

Dalia H.

Date posted: 9d

@cmax20 Unfortunately, the only way to really end an obsession is to lean into that uncertainty and the possibility of your worst fear being true. My therapist usually has me doing “imaginal exposures,” where I type a story about what my life would look like if my worst fear came true. He said to make it as detailed and graphic and fear-inducing and possible and then read it over and over again, 2x in the morning and 2x at night. It’s supposed to desensitize you

nojo1234

Date posted: 10d

I just want to chime in and say you're not alone. I experience ROCD with my partner, and I've definitely had trouble navigating how and what to share with my partner. I never want to make her more anxious by Sharing everything going on in my head especially when it's in a setting where I may just be seeking reassurance. But I also make sure to be transparent with her about topics of my rocd. It's always the what-ifs. I've found it helpful to step back and try to really embrace the uncertainty in the relationship, even though this is way easier said than done.

Kas_C

Date posted: 25w

Relationship OCD

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

Pls I need advice

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now

anonymous_an...

Date posted: 19w

Advice ROCD

How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have

Relationship OCD

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