- Date posted
- 15w
Feeling horrible as usual I appreciate your posts
I appreciate your posts but all I see is the same thing of what we're going through Where's the freaking cure man! I can't take it anymore I'm going to off myself one day
I appreciate your posts but all I see is the same thing of what we're going through Where's the freaking cure man! I can't take it anymore I'm going to off myself one day
Therapy was the best help for me. I was able to find a wonderful therapist at NOCD. They taught me ERP and other practices. But ERP was the best medicine for me. It teaches you to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and uncertainty. To let the intrusive thoughts come and go and to do nothing about it. This part is hard and it sucks. I know. I was diagnosed five years ago, but I’ve had it for 10 years. OCD is not fun, especially in the beginning or if you don’t have the tools to fight it. But just remember OCD is a big bully that wants to keep you trapped. It attacks the things we love the most are the things we enjoy doing. But the thing OCD doesn’t know is that we have the key to get out. I hope this helps. Keep fighting and never give up. We got this. I like to see myself as Batman now. Batman had a face his fears to become who he is and that’s what we have to do. I’ve even given my OCD a nickname. “Joker” Anytime I have an intrusive thought or I want to do a compulsion. I just think it’s the Joker trying to fight me. But “I’m Batman”.
Hi please don’t harm yourself, there is hope out there for us. I felt like I was reaching a wall after years of OCD with no treatment and felt like there was nothing that could help me after looking for a simple and quick cure, but it didn’t exist. I thought about offing myself for weeks and it got dark and I was scared and exhausted and just wanted to have some control back or nothing at all. I finally advocated for myself and got a referral from my doctor to see a psychiatrist, who confirmed my diagnosis and prescribed antidepressants and pointed me towards OCD specific therapy, like what NOCD offers. I started therapy with NOCD and my medication a year and half ago and it took some hard work but I found things getting better and I got my life back bit by bit. I’m not nearly as bothered by my OCD and am able to resist and ignore it and my triggers don’t bring on the strong feelings that they used to. I hope you’re able to advocate for yourself and get those same resources that I did, it changed my life and probably saved it.
Remember thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings. We generally cannot control our thoughts or feelings, and even groinal responses. No matter how much you want to, they just happen and they 100% happen more when you’re worried about them happening, instead except it. Say “that’s just my silly thoughts again” or whatever it may be, say oh it’s just that silly thing again. Don’t try to work it out, don’t try to ignore it, allow them to come but don’t solve them. Just expect that they’re there . The best advise I was ever told is OCD is like a drunk person, they start to say silly things such as “omg I’m such a silly person” or “Ong you’re so great you’re the strongest person alive” you don’t actually believe what they say because they’re speaking nonsense, but you most likely will reply with “oh yes you’re right” because you’re trying to just please them, but it doesn’t mean you agree with them. You’re just trying to “shut them up” basically. For example if you kept saying “no I’m not” “not that’s not true” “no don’t be silly” the drunk person would carry on saying “no yes you are” etc etc… this is the same with ocd, the more you try to argue with it and say “no this isn’t true” the more it’ll say “yes it is” however if you just say “yes okay you’re right” (even tho it’s not) it’ll start to show ocd that you aren’t picking a fight anymore, you’re just excepting it and it’ll start to get easier. Trust me you aren’t alone in this. Ocd is scary. But you can do this. Some other techniques that have helped me massively is this… When you’re getting these unwanted thoughts etc, name 5 things you can see around you, 2 things you can smell or 2 things you like the smell of, 3 things you can hear and 5 things you can feel, such as touch your hair etc and describe how it feels, etc. this is a way of just distracting yourself. It’s a very good technique for ocd and I went from getting 20 showed a day due to my ocd down to 3 showers a day…. From using this. It works!!! Or take deep breaths that also helps people You aren’t a bad person, you’re just suffering with ocd and that doesn’t make you a bad person
I appreciate that but my mind is a labyrinth and will not allow me to do anything you say here. It's a constant battle. My OCD is based out of fear. I can't take it anymore I appreciate your advice but it's feeble
I’m definitely having an episode right now. A few times I’ve thought about coming onto this app and writing something but then I spiral further and further and I forget about anything except what’s triggering me. Then I think about this app again and intend to write a post… but again I’m spiraling too hard to focus on anything else. But I finally ended up here because I got an email from NOCD. I opened it and read about someone who ‘overcame their OCD.’ It made me spiral harder, because I genuinely don’t understand how someone can control this. How do I stop? How do I silence my brain? I was told to sit with my thoughts and not try to divert them, but if I do that I have an extreme episode so bad that I feel disconnected from myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and it felt like my eyes were seeing someone standing in front of me and not my reflection. It scares me to think that I will be experiencing these episodes forever. I literally just put my phone down twice because I thought my cat was choking to death because he had a hairball (he’s fine) I just feel like I can’t see a way out of this. It’s not curable, and I don’t understand how someone can ‘conquer’ something that feels so out of control Obviously it’s possible, but unfortunately that reassurance doesn’t always break through the most awful thoughts Sometimes there’s nothing that can make me calm down, I just have to ride it out I hope there’s never a day where it’s so out of control that I can’t keep it in at work, and I ruin my own life by having a severe panic attack while I’m there and being fired. If I had the type of episodes at work that I have consistently at home, I would be so humiliated. It scares me. I’m trying so hard to be normal like everyone else. I just want to be happy. I just want to live.
I really want to die The only thing that keeps me here are my children I can't do that to them... But the torture is unreal... My quality of life is destroyed ritual after ritual after ritual. It's like I have two minds. I want to be normal but the other side of my mind says no! I will not let you be freaking normal You will obey my command and do your rituals everyday out of fear! I can't take it anymore I really just want to die! I pray to God everyday but there hasn't been any answers from him. I'm a devout Christian and a Jesus follower. Where is my Savior? Why does God and Jesus keep on letting us live this way through torture? I feel like I'm a blasphemer for saying that, I'm done I need help! Like we all do!
i am nearly constantly extremely anxious and i don't want to live like this. my family and friends are so done dealing with me to the point that i feel that i'd be better off completely alone. every small twinge or pain in my body sends me into a panic, and if it's not that it's something else i manage to be worrying over. i'm fairly certain my stress has caused an ulcer to form. i try to sit with myself and not seek reassurance/check myself for issues but it is genuinely agonizing at times. most days i sleep 12-14 hours a day because it gets to a point that i cannot deal with it anymore and i take something to sleep. sometimes i do feel that i would be better off just not around so i wouldn't have to feel this any longer. i do a lot of unhealthy things to cope (drinking, smoking, and otc sleeping pills being the main culprits) and those habits end up hurting me in the long run and making me more anxious. i do have a counselor and she is great but i'm having a really hard time finding a medication provider under my insurance. i really really do want to get better because this is the most miserable i have ever been and i hate being like this and exhausting myself and the people around me. i've been told a big part of the healing process is to make yourself sit with your thoughts and deal with the uncertainty and fear as it comes, but it feels torturous to do that. sometimes reading through these posts does make me feel better knowing that i'm not alone but lately i have been unable to pull myself out of this frantic state. what are some healthier ways to cope/distract yourself that you guys find to be at least semi-effective? i am genuinely willing to try anything to make this terrible feeling go away
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