Need Clarity

I recently had a intrusive thought and felt the need to go over it to make sure I didn’t feel anything sexual. Part of the reviewing included creating a scenario similar to the intrusive thought to see if anything was felt. Thankfully no evidence of any feelings. However I can’t seem to find anything on the internet about creating scenarios when checking a previous intrusive thought. Is this common and what is it called has anyone experienced this. I feel very alone. Any feedback would be helpful

AHL

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d

First , thank you for the post and vulnerability. You are not alone in your fight . What you are experiencing is compulsion and reassurance seeking . What form and the details reassurance seeking takes are just that , details. Looking on the internet and finding nothing , hoping to find something is reassurance seeking . Even if you found your answer you are still seeking . As you go through this process give yourself grace and time . Dont try and get out of the loop because that’s involuntarily putting you back in it . Give up the “ need “ for clarity . Replace “ does this mean I am xyz “ thoughts with “ yeah this could be true , but I am going to live my life anyway “ thoughts . Hang in there you got this

flyinggorilla

Date posted: 4d

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I was aware that I was applying compulsions. I guess I’ll be the first person on earth that’s created scenarios in my head while reviewing a recent intrusive thought. I’m at peace with the compulsions I guess I just have to make peace with the possibility that I’m the only one that’s ever created a scenario when reviewing an intrusive thought. It’s been tough and hope these ocd websites post this as an example of a compulsion. Because I know reassurance in the ocd world is bad but I truly believe listing this as a symptom of ocd/compulsions can provide clarity and comfort knowing whoever goes through this is not alone.

Never giving...

Date posted: 3d

@flyinggorilla Sorry yes I’ve totally done this before.. many times. Trying to check something by creating a hypothetical scenario in my head. I would totally say it’s a compulsion. I recommend speaking to a therapist to get clarity if you need. Researching it can become a compulsion too unfortunately.

flyinggorilla

Date posted: 4d

Has anyone gone through this and how did you deal with it

Never giving...

Date posted: 3d

@flyinggorilla When I used to do this many years ago it only made things worse and fed the fear… because I most often times couldn’t prove the thing one way or another. I do remember being able to argue some thoughts out of my head but only to have another one “stick”. You have to learn not to pick these things up. Easier said than done. But that’s what has given me my life back

Angel20

Date posted: 4d

I have intrusive thoughts, false memories and often find my brain creating scenarios whilst I’m ruminating and trying to disprove them. The problem is those scenarios then start feeling real the more you think about them keeping you stuck.

nae nae

Date posted: 24w

I'm sorry. Just need to vent. :(

This might contain triggering content, but I'm also wondering if others have dealt with this similar thought, and if so, how to deal with it? Overall, I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm able to eat again, which I hadn't been able to do because of how much anxiety I'd been experiencing. I'm spending time around loved ones and not just rotting in my room, and I've been able to wake up without immediately being bombarded by intrusive thoughts. When things first got really bad, I'd wake my mom up every night for reassurance, but I haven't done that in a while either. I'm really proud of myself, but there's still this nagging thought in my mind... While looking through others posts on here, hoping to find advice that'd fit my situation, I ended up making things worse. Someone mentioned how they had a fear that they'd purposely search for illegal content (related to POCD). I panicked, and "what ifs" flooded my thoughts. "What if the intrusive thoughts affect who I am as a person, and I do that?" I'm terrified that I'll search for those things, which I know means I wouldn't do it. But then, another person on here said they'd actually looked for those things, and that freaked me out even more. Does that mean it's possible for that to happen to me? I don't want to do that, but I keep having intrusive thoughts surrounding it. I've been doing so well these past few days. I'm just... stuck. I don't know what to do. I've spoken with other people who have the same fears, but how do I manage this? It's not something I've even thought about before seeing those posts. I've been practicing accepting the uncertainty, but I'm really struggling with this one. I hate this. This morning, I woke up, and the intrusive thoughts were back. It's just disheartening.

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 23w

Intrusive thoughts during self pleasuring :/

I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/

POCD

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 22w

Self pleasure and intrusive thoughts :/

I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh

POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Need Clarity

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community