Hi guys, So last night I said “If I don’t complete this” then I couldn’t eat or it would give me anxiety forever. Then I got hungry and ate anyways… I woke up with anxiety early this morning. So now that means it came true? Sometimes I go a long time without eating. I don’t know what the heck to do! Ugh!
You gave yourself a condition - then broke it - (totally normal) - then woke up this morning with some anxiety and now your OCD is saying is because of the condition you broke yesterday? How many times have you woken up anxious in the past month I’d say ? Is it always because you broke a condition or it’s just OCD attacking you ? My guess is that because of the condition you set and then broke - you woke up with anxiety and then boom - now you’re ocd probably trying to convince you that it was because of you eating when you got hungry …. From outside reading this it’s very obvious that is OCD. And anxiety is kind of long life thing, you just get better at managing it - and even after going a while without, certain events could trigger it, so not eating really doesn’t help, it does the exact opposite. I could also focus on how the condition you set for yourself has zero impact on reality - but I think you already know that. You should eat when you’re hungry it’s normal behavior. The not eating thing sounds like a compulsion. Is therapy a possibility?
@Amilton Hey Amilton, Thank you for your response. I am not in a very good position. I always have the it if I don’t do this or I do that situation where I avoid or don’t do things. Last night I ate when I wasn’t supposed to. Therefore my OCD is telling me that it came true because I did get anxiety early this morning/night. I can’t remember if I said that I would have anxiety that wouldn’t end until I completed that task, or if I would have anxiety that didn’t go away forever because I ate without satisfying my OCD thought. You are right about many things you said. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. I don’t know what to do at this point. I wish. My insurance doesn’t cover therapy and I am not in a good financial position to afford it myself sadly. I am worried I will have anxiety forever now like I said or what if I cannot change the outcome now for what happened. I am spiraling down. I feel like a complete failure today.
@Perfect Imperfectionist You seem to be aware that this is OCD doing its things. Are you familiar with ERP ? You basically just sit there with the uncomfortable feeling and not give into it, feel the anxiety rise and then come back down. The intrusive thoughts about anxiety affecting your forever - or any other consequences that come from these conditions will most likely never come true. By sitting there and not giving into it, you label them OCD thoughts or urges and then try to focus your attention on something else. Be intentional about it though, try your best to stay engaged in whatever activity you choose to do and just know that it will feel uncomfortable- it will feel unnatural because you’re going against your instincts when you choose to let OCD do its thing without giving into the compulsions. It’s gonna be very hard at first but I strongly recommend that you keep practicing again and again. As you get more comfortable with just sitting there with the discomfort caused by the thoughts and what if scenarios- you create more distance between you and them and as that happens you’ll start seeing how irrational a lot to them are, which is very hard to do where you’re right in the thick of it. Try this approach - I believe there ar even tools here where you can practice ERP on your own. Good luck 🍀
Yeah, I know it’s OCD doing it’s thing. I just f’ing hate OCD! I know of ERP but never done it myself. I used to be a DBT/CBT trainer as well. I hope it never comes true. I am terrified of anxiety and anything that makes me feel uncomfortable to be completely honest. I am eating now and it is very hard. Thank you so much for your kindness and feedback. I hope to talk again sometime! 🙏🏻
@Perfect Imperfectionist You being a DBT/CBT trainer you probably have way more knowledge regarding mental illness than I do. So you’re probably aware of what’s happening to you it’s just hard not to give in, which has been one of my biggest struggles with COD as well. It’s knowing exactly what to do but not doing and it can feel so hard sometimes. My advice is just to try and practice acceptance that this is a life long struggle and the only way out is through. Take your time coming to terms with that and then give ERP a shot. Good luck 🍀
I just wish I could get something complete help right now. My anxiety is terrible and I am scared. I hate this shit anymore.
Idk whats going on…my mental state hasnt been great these past two weeks. My eating is being affected in a neg way due to transition between therapists, school, and ignoring my sexuality….Ive been taking several different kinds of quizzes over the past week regarding mental health and ED and i realized that if i dont eat enough to feel full i’ll end up sick or worse dead. It doesn’t help that i also just started my period. And i just woke up in the middle of the night with food, hydration, and possibly not waking up in mind. And tried going back to sleep but then i realized that I might actually have a problem on my hands and that jolted me awake. Now im scared of sleeping and not making it through the night….i could easily get up and make myself an oatmeal even though im not hungry atm, but dont wanna wake family that are sleeping in the living room. Im scared of dropping more weight than I already have been and having my nutritionist intervene…. Im realizing that im fucking myself up from not eating well and being too picky and i wanna slap a bandaid on it and just eat everything to hopefully gain some weight before my next nutrition appt. I’m just scared of things getting worse….is this part of OCD or is it just me just plain out ignoring my body cos in feeling like it??? Idk what to believe about myself anymore….
Lately I have been struggling with binge eating in an odd way I haven’t experienced before. I have been eating a bunch more each night because “it could be my last meal” and I’m not sure how to break the cycle. I’m not hungry, but I force myself because my brain is telling me I’ll never get to experience that again. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?
I have an ocd over food. I can not feel full if i don't have the last grains of rice and I should count. Before, I got a real bad stomach ache and nausea so I should eat on track. But one of my weirdness appears as time goes on that thing I mentioned and how I have to wait until certain time to swallow and digest the food. It's as if I keep myself for not reccuring anymore. It's so strange, if I don't follow it I would get sleepy and can not concentrate. It's like time really matters to me. And my head becomes weird if I don't listen to it. I wanna fight it but I think I can't. There are times even when I got staggered and wanna fall. Anyone here fighting over food ocd and signals in your head?
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