Why there will always be one more "what if" with OCD

At its core, OCD can be very predictable. It starts with a thought, image, or urge, and the brain’s alarm system is set off. Your brain feels stuck, unable to move forward unless you do compulsions to try to feel safe or certain. But every time you perform some compulsion or gain some reassurance, OCD returns with yet another “what if.” Since you can never find 100% certainty about your fears, as improbable as they may be, the relief you feel is always temporary—unlike the freedom you can gain from changing your relationship with uncertainty. Read more about why you can never feel completely certain about your fears, and what you can do to fight back.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12w

I see where you can never feel certain about your fears, but I think it also applies to not feeling completely certain about your decisions too. Especially with real ocd. Living with the uncertainty of “maybe it was the right decision, maybe it wasn’t.”

Worthy

Date posted: 12w

A very good Cognitive Behavioral Therapist of mine gave me a tool to use that always helps me, as long as I remember to do it in the moment. When a “what if…” question pops into your head, give yourself a solution by saying “and then what?”. You just keep answering each what if that subsequently pop up until you get to a place where you feel that everything is going to be okay. For instance, “What if I forget to bring my wallet to the store?” And then, “Then, I can put items on hold and go home to get it.” “What if they won’t hold the items?” “Then, I will call my son to ask him to bring me my wallet.” “What if I can’t get a hold of my son?” “Then, I will stash the items between things in the store and dash home to get my wallet’ (lol, I’ve had to do this a few times.) “What if I get back, and they are gone?” “Then, I’ll back track to the places I found them.” “What if there are no more of some of the items?” “Then, I can find something else I like or just not get that item and be happy that I I saved some money. I probably didn’t NEED that anyway.” You see how I got myself to a place of letting go of the anxiety, allowing me to stop the “what ifs”? Now, my brain is not in a frantic state. I can shop with a clear head. Another tool from a different therapist is to “challenge the negative thought”. There’s a series of easy steps for that too, but I already made this long post. I don’t want to get a TLDR from anyone. I hope this helps someone.

Cherno

Date posted: 10w

@Worthy So are we supposed to keep responding? Or are supposed to answer “And then what?”

Worthy

Date posted: 10w

@Cherno If you are being honest with yourself, you will end up at a place that is less filled with anxiety. Even if it’s not the ideal situation, the goal is to get to a better thought than the anxiety causing worry. It might not work with every single situation, but it’s a very helpful tool for most.

PurpleDawn

Date posted: 12w

This is literally EXACTLY how my mind works

leckert46

Date posted: 11w

❤️

marlomarie

Date posted: 11w

A million what if’s 🙁

Worthy

Date posted: 11w

@marlomarie And then what?🙂

marlomarie

Date posted: 11w

@Worthy Then I spiral into an abyss until it passes

Worthy

Date posted: 11w

@marlomarie I wasn’t really asking you that question. It was meant as a reminder to use the tool. You don’t have to spiral like that. Theses tools are meant to break that cycle, so you don’t have to let them own you. It’s a challenge for sure, but the more you do it, the more it becomes easier.

marlomarie

Date posted: 11w

@Worthy Thank you kindly. I’m new on here and don’t have a therapist yet.. when you mention tools am I missing something on this app?

Worthy

Date posted: 11w

@marlomarie No, not tools on the app. I was referring to the “tools” I learned from my therapist. I wrote a long post about helpful tools I learned. If you read my post, I think you will understand what I meant. I’m new here too.

marlomarie

Date posted: 11w

@Worthy Yeah I saw the tools on here are given as homework from therapists 😊

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