Just came out of an 8 day dive with severe real event ocd and tonight I had a lot of peace. Is it normal to worry about going back? I just hope the feelings are residual from here on out and not as severe as they were. For a couple days there I was in pure dread. Anyone who can relate? Coming out of a really dark cycle?
I think I'm still in that deep severe OCD cycle, but I definitely think it's normal to worry about going back.
Man. I can really relate, there would be many times that I had been entrenched in anxiety and depression from my OCD compulsions and fears. Those moments of peace are just so awesome. It really does feel like a breath of fresh air, but then I would also worry that the cycle was just gonna continue and for a long time it did until I got the proper OCD treatment, now I have the tools to work around the OCD. It doesn’t make it any easier, I still get caught in dark circles, but in my experience, there has been more peace the further and further I continue to get into my recovery. It does get better. And I think you’re doing great. I’m glad you’re experiencing some peace right now. You’re not alone.
Absolutely. It's a place where we all hope to never go to again. With the right tools it's easier to stay out of that place. I got taught to spot what my spiral look like so I could work on them earlier before I took a nose dive.
I’m currently in a very dark cycle right now. I’m worried it’s only going to get worse from a possible breakup (a completely made up thing I have convinced myself that will happen). Just notice when you start to get into those patterns of ocd and find ways to either cope with them or distract if they are too much. No matter what happens though, you are not alone.
@Graz85 Thank you Graz. I relate to the made up scenario. I thought for a while that I was meant to be in prison and I was the worst of the worst for mistakes I made in my youth. I was finding peace in that made up scenario because I thought it was reality or that it would be. Very irrational
oh definitely!!! every single time it feels like the chaos of the cycle has calmed down, i worry about repeating it all over again :/ thats why ontop of the usual feelings the beginning of a dark cycle will bring, i always feel bummed out cause now the peaceful period is gone and itll take who knows how long til i get it back again :// ahh its so frustrating:( well im wishing you luck♡!!! and remember youre not alone, theres plenty of us out here going thru the ringer right with you :,)♡
@Anonymous_2323 :) comforting❤️
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.
i came out of it now i’m back in , what helps?
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