I’m stuck in a loop, I can’t stop avoiding the thoughts by watching tik tok, I’m paralyzed on the couch, I’m searching for clues everywhere that something bad is happening I don’t know how to go on like this anymore my fears are so strong so present they feel so real. Any mention of the future sends my whole body into panic. My arms go numb, I can’t keep living like this i feel like I’m going crazy
Hello my friend. I am sorry things are so tough right now. I've been there. I promise you it gets better. I would highly recommend seeing a therapist if at all possible as soon as you can. For right now, it's going to be uncomfortable. What you can do, is this. You can try and do something productive or fun. Read a book. Work on a hobby. Even scroll on your phone. Anything you want or need to do. Even cleaning something can help. But don't do it as a distraction. Don't run from your thoughts. Let them be there. But any time they come up, refocus your attention on the thing you are doing. I like to do dishes or make my bed. You will feel horrible, most likely. Your mind will keep returning to the thoughts you'd do anything to get rid of. Don't fight them. Let them be there. Let yourself be occupied and, whenever the thoughts come up, gently redirect your attention on what you are doing. It will feel impossible. It will feel like you have to think about it. You have to research. You have to avoid. You must push. You must fight. But you don't. What I'm recommending is not fighting. It's accepting. Not saying the thought is true. No. But letting it be there. And not letting it distract you from what you are doing. Keep at this and I promise it will get easier and easier. It will be very hard at first. But I believe in you. You are stronger than you can imagine. You can do this. I know it. You are not your thoughts.
@Iceberg Climber Can I have some support?
@YourOCDhelpingtool Of course.
@Iceberg Climber I’m freaking out a lot
@Iceberg Climber Are you 18+?
@YourOCDhelpingtool Yes. I am. But I will not chat on another site/form of communication if you're going to suggest that. I apologize, but I would be happy to offer any advice I can here.
@Iceberg Climber Yes that’s fine I wasn’t going to ask that anyways
@Iceberg Climber I’m freaking out because someone said that people who know they’re attracted to kids but know it’s wrong and don’t act on it, they also feel guilty like others with POCD. I’m so scared so how do I tell the difference
@YourOCDhelpingtool You aren't going to like this, but I'm going to abstract a bit. Follow me here. You are trying to find the answer to a problem without a definitive solution. There is no concrete, 100% answer to the questions running through your mind. It does not matter how much you think it through, research it, or ask other people. You will always have a nagging uncertainty that maybe you missed something. Maybe you aren't what you think you are. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. That's how OCD works. It hates, hates, hates uncertainty about anything and it cruelly latches on to the things you care most about and makes you search for certainty that you aren't those things that you think you might be. But remember how it works. I could reassure you, but that isn't actually going to help you. The thoughts will come back and the anxiety with them. However, at the risk of reassuring, I will say this. Are you currently doing the things your thoughts tell you you want to do? The answer is no. So that would mean you aren't those things. The only way to do something is to actually do it. A thought is just a thought. I could think about hurting someone 100 times but until I do, I haven't done it. I'm not guilty. The truth of reality is not changed by your thoughts. Again, this will not be enough for your mind (it might provide temporary relief, but the thoughts will come back). Instead, if you actually want to get better here is what you must do. Ignore the thoughts. Don't push them away. Don't fight them. Let them exist. But don't do compulsions. Don't ask anyone for reassurance. Don't research. Don't run through your thoughts over and over again. Let it bother you. And do nothing about it. I don't mean do nothing. In fact, I would recommend doing something. Go clean something. Watch a TV show. Read a book. And everytime the thought comes up, say "I am not my thoughts and I have a choice of what to do at this moment." And then continue on. Let the thought be there until it decides to go away on its own. Don't be mad or freak out. Everyone has intrusive thoughts. Give it no meaning and it has none. Pay it no mind. You will be terribly anxious. You might only be able to do this for a little while before you feel like you must have some relief. Okay. Fine. Then next time, do it longer. Leave it be longer. Keep on working/studying/cleaning/reading/watching for longer. And pay it no mind. Float past it. You are not your thoughts. This is how you begin to actually not be bothered by these thoughts. You have to escape the loop. It isn't easy, but you can do it. You are stronger than you think! You are not alone! Someone knows exactly what you are going through! And things can get better! I believe in you!
@Iceberg Climber Did you see my reply
@YourOCDhelpingtool I'm not sure which one you mean. I would read my message above and see if you have any questions about that.
@Iceberg Climber You see it now
I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩
No I’m not attempting or anything. I am just really in a depressive state as of now. I am so convinced that my fear is real you don’t even know. I don’t know what to do. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a reality where this is all gone. But honestly I don’t know if that would change anything. I’m scared that this is who I was all along, and I’ve just been delaying what I will eventually become. I don’t want to do ANYTHING that my intrusive thoughts say AT ALL. But honestly that doesn’t mean anything anymore. I’m so convinced of the thought “you’ve been doing it this whole time without realizing it.” I think it’s true now. I feel incredibly stuck. I just want to be hugged :(
Just bombarded with the guilt of past mistakes. Not knowing the outcome of things makes it worse. Seeing things/signs that are associated with the real event I obsess about everyday. I see it in tv, you tube, songs and everything. It's so scary how it's everywhere
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