I was doing so good for a little bit and now I started to feel so hopeless and idk why, I’m so tired of this and don’t know if it will ever get better. I’m so scared and have anxiety all the time

Yes I got to a therapist and I’ve spoken to her about it, she says it’s just the anxiety that I have to accept it but it gets overwhelming sometimes

Thank you for answering though, I hope you’re getting the help you need as well

That was me too, I almost didn’t go to my first therapy session bcus I didn’t want her to tell me that my fear was actually true, I think what most grounds me when I doubt it is her saying that if it was true then she’d lose her job which is terrible I know lol, I hope you do great though! Will this be your first time with a therapist?

@xxxxi It's a scary process, and very true lol she would be out of a job! I think after researching and hearing what other people have been through has made me feel more better about opening up about these thoughts. I had CBT before, however I didn't tell her about all of my intrusive thoughts and it was more focused on my anxiety and depression, I was scared that I would be put in a mental home or something if I told her about the intrusive thoughts lol. But it all makes sense after realising what OCD actually is. How long have you been going for? Do you feel like it's helped?

@xxxxi And thank you I hope it goes well too!

@charliebee I started going like in the beginning of October but I actually started erp like almost 3 weeks ago. I do think it helps a lot, my intrusive thoughts keep changing though, so sometimes your themes can keep changing as you overcome one but it’s gotten better from when I first started, defenitely a lot of ups n downs but it works

@xxxxi It's a tough journey but sounds like it's helping you, I guess it's a case of learning new techniques in order to manage the intrusive thoughts when they come in, and being able to overcome the new themes. Hopefully it will only get easier the more we continue with it all. All the best to you.

@charliebee And I hope it also helps you! If u ever need someone to talk to you can always come back to this post and I’ll be here n to let me know how your assessment goes too! Wish u all the luck ?

@xxxxi Thank you ? I'll remember to. And you too if you need to speak to someone.

@xxxxi Feeling so damn nervous about this assessment, got like no sleep last night! Just hoping they can help me. How have you been keeping up?

@charliebee Hi! How was the assessment?? I haven’t been sleeping good as well, the thoughts keep me up a lot but other than that during the day they’re not bad so honestl better hby?

@xxxxi Not too well really, I don't think she really understood everything I've been going through and said it wasn't OCD. I told her stuff to do with harm OCD, other stuff relating to relationship OCD and a lot of stuff around sexual stuff, however she blamed it on the fact I watch porn, but it still doesn't explain the harm and relationship OCD. She made me feel very uncomfortable and I didn't feel like I could talk openly with her, and I told her about the type of thoughts and she's just made me feel like a monster tbh. I left yday and bought a bottle of whisky just thinking I just don't know whats wrong with me then. It doesn't explain the constant intrusive thoughts I keep getting. I've gotta wait for a response now, so could take however long. Need to get back in touch with my gp. Sorry to hear you haven't been sleeping well, have you tried sleep medication or meditation before?

@xxxxi I got a call from the therapist today just to explain some stuff, think I misinterpreted it, as she isn't sure if it's OCD but says I have a lot of OCD symptoms, I just need to try and tackle one thing at a time and cutting porn out completely as it is likely damaging my mind. It's just been a part of my life since I was 8, so I think it damaged me quite a bit. Slow process but will get there. Hope you're all good.

@charliebee Hi! I’m sorry to hear that but it could also be a misdiagnosis. Is she an ocd specialist bcus if she’s not then you should try going to one since I’ve seen most regular therapists aren’t really specialized on ocd. But yes I’m doing a lot better than before and not letting the thoughts not bother me even thought it’s hard but better days are better days :)