Has anyone felt like they never would find their person. Like you really couldnāt see it happening for you and then you found that person ?? What was it like?? Because Iām losing hope here. I really feel like there is no one for me
Omg yes I felt like this for years!! Don't lose hope. Keep yourself open minded with people of all backgrounds and types and you'll find yoyr person even if it takes a few tries!! I met my girlfriend now (currently 2 years in!) Also remember to work on your ocd and insecurities beforehand necause sometimes if u have untreated relationship ocd it can get messy. I'm not sure how old u are but I met my girl in high school and since things have been going so well were planning to move in together in our apartment when I go to interpreting school after graduating. I promise there are so many people out there for you so be patient and don't lose hope!ā”ā”
It also happened so unpredictably out of nowhere for me. Love is always around the corner if u know where to look! We litterally did marching band for an entire season before I knew her name and we hit it off after a weekend
@Ariana ā” Iām 22 and never had a boyfriend and it freaks me out kinda. This is apart of my ocd as well. But I have been doing my own thing for so long itās hard to think of someone else in my life. Plus the emotions behind it and whether Iām capable of them. If that makes sense. Thank you so much for sharing your experience tho. I will try to be open minded and patient š
One of my partners died by suicide in 2021, and after that, I felt like I would never find someone, that everyone would be too freaked out to date a girl with a dead boyfriend, that theyād see me basically as a widow with too much baggage. Many of my friends stepped up to be there for me in the time following. One of my friends that I had been close with since 2017 was especially good at listening to me when I was having a hard time with grief. After a while, I remember thinking, āIāve known him for 5 years, and everyday he is SO nice. I canāt believe he doesnāt have a girlfriend.ā Then I had the new thought, āwait. Maybe I could be?ā I asked him out, and things went reaalllyyy slowly, but now, weāre in our 30s and have been married 2 years! I could not be happier. He is so patient with me trying to work through my ocd. If we werenāt such good friends before, I would have never felt comfortable sharing my inner thoughts. What worked for me was focusing more on friendship first.
@24ozpersephonenoice Thank you so much! That must have been very hard for you to go through such a traumatic thing. Iām so glad you had good people in your life to support you. Thank you for giving me some hope ā¤ļø
@Anonymous In my 20s, I went years without being asked on a date. I was sad at the time, but I see now how I just wasnāt ready for a relationship yet. Iām grateful for the time I had to focus on myself, family, and friends.
@24ozpersephonenoice Yes absolutely, I think I have a lot to work on in order to be ready for a relationship. It still makes me upset tho because I want to be ready but I know Iām not. Also the fact the everyone else around me is in a relationship and they look at me kinda feeling sorry for me. They always ask me sooo when are you getting a boyfriend.
@Anonymous Having patience is hard, I know. Itās sooo important to work on yourself tho because it helps you to be able to support your partner better. When Iām stable is when im most in-tune with my husbandās feelings and needs. Your mental health is worth taking care ofānot just for your sake, but for the well-being of people close to you. Could you politely ask them to stop? Just like, āI know youāre not trying to hurt my feelings with that comment, but itās getting kind of old. Can we talk about something else? ____ happened yesterday and blah blahā
@24ozpersephonenoice Absolutely and Iāve notice that if I donāt take care of myself itās not good for anyone else. Thank you for helping me out, is there any other advice you have
@Anonymous I just know if I had married the type of people I was interested in when I was 22, I would not be happy. People say to find someone with like similar interests who makes you laugh, etc. I have no similar movie, music, comedy, clothing tastes as my husband. But for someone who struggles with her mental health, I learned to value emotional compatibility immensely more. I feel like I can talk to my husband about my innermost intrusive thoughts, and he helps me by doing things like kindly not giving assurance. Teaching emotional intelligence is way harder than finding new hobbies together and developing your own sense of humor with your partner. Thatās where taking things slowly comes in, you donāt always want to lay all of your mental health cards on the table right away, but itās ok to be vulnerable with people you trust. I spent years of my twenties not asked on any dates, but I wouldnāt change anything because I think I had a lot to learn. I would rather get married at 99 to someone who truly loves and supports me than at 25 to someone who is nice but I donāt feel like I can share what Iām really thinking inside.
Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean Iām gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I wonāt be in a relationship. I wonāt look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.
As someone who has never been in a relationship itās hard for me to envision myself in one and know what it will feel like. I feel like being 21 Iāve protected myself a lot due to insecurity. I want a boyfriend and yet I donāt itās just all really scary for me. I never had the stupid relationship to break the ice and now Iām putting so much pressure and emphasis on things and finding the RIGHT person. Also have hocd definitely doesnāt help. Iām working on myself and doing my best. But my current feelings are: I donāt like the way I look, I canāt imagine myself with someone, and Iām never going to find someone I click with and feel good with. Any advice??????
I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like Iāll never find my person. Iām worried Iāll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think itās safer to just be alone.
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