EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

ROCD

Not reassurance seeking just want to know if someone else has dealt with this. When I mention marriage and stuff, my brain and body feel off and it feels as if I don’t want it. I don’t feel excited talking abt it even tho I talk abt it. I can’t tell if I actually don’t want it or if it’s ocd. Is there any true way to tell? Has anyone else dealt with this? When I talk about honey moon or whatever it feels like maybe I don’t want it. I think it’s commitment issues

slippery_salad

Date posted: 7d

Yes thats textbook ROCD. OCD usually hits when you’re making decisions like getting married. Your mind is quick to sabotage your life for some reason. But I had this in my last relationship. The key is to just sit with the uncertainty:)

Anonymous

Date posted: 7d

Yes it happened to me. The gap for me was avoidant attachment because I wanted connection but my nervous system was too scared from past experiences that I couldn't feel happy or be aware of my feelings besides the lack of and discomfort of commitment. The questioning and comparing over and over was the ROCD part. I chose to leave for various reasons and before I knew about ROCD, then my brain switched back to anxious attachment and now ROCD is telling be to go back. The awareness of these experiences help build evidence but what really worked was the exposure. I was in pain enough to seek proper help for OCD and try something new which my therapist helped refine my exposure to be more structured and accountable. I'm much better now after learning the basics and sitting with my nervous system to regulate itself than trying to control and predict and compare everything because of false buyer's remorse.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

@Anonymous It’s like commitment issues I fear that type of commitment then I’m like well do I not find him attractive enough what is it, I just have to commit and sit with it?

Anonymous

Date posted: 7d

@EmmaGrace27 Before making any major decisions, it's to sit with it without engaging nor intensely suppressing, in order to let thoughts pass by while acknowledging the why what when how if then now later prompts whether you stay or go or what the source is about. It's more about the commitment to oneself of not knowing if this person or yourself is the right one and let it stay unknown. This can take days, months, years even to end up making a decision based on love instead of fear.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

@Anonymous I have commitment issues with a lot of things not sticking to it and I fear marrying the wrong person bc I never thought I’d be with the right man

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

@Anonymous Well then I guess I won’t know!

Anonymous

Date posted: 7d

@EmmaGrace27 Yes it's your own story to live it rather than predict it. With ROCD it turns what seems exciting to others as anxiety instead. Many others never knew for sure but had mixed emotions in the moment still and choose to leave or stay. Either decision is still moving forward, just ROCD will keep changing the emotion and goal post no matter the decision until it's vented and bored that we have no reaction to it. It's just an eight ball that keeps giving vague answers on the same question "yes, no, try again later" not a crystal ball.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

@Anonymous So fr. This is how I want to live and I don’t need to keep questioning if it’s not real

OutstandingC...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d

There is no way to know for sure

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 7d

@OutstandingCutieDisorder Your very helpful I appreciate it💞on your past comments

OutstandingC...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 7d

@EmmaGrace27 Thanks, I’m glad!!

lilbopeep66

Date posted: 7d

I had no idea of all the different levels and types of OCD and learning about some so far is opening my eyes and it explains so many different things about me and the things I do and go through and panic about and sabotage etc. etc etc. I finally feel like I am not just completely crazy I am only a little bit crazy the rest is of the OCD family I'm so glad I dound this connection I am going to read more and even possibly schedule some therapy time . Thank all of you I have read about so far for being the ones that has opened my eyes and helped my head lol . The fear is real but so is love but the things the fear can cause me to say or do can make it look like there is no love . Like I said self sabotage is real .

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

Hello Emma Yes, I'm currently battling the same issue. I've been married 20 years, dated the same girl in my 20's and had partner focused OCD come up early in our relationship which quickly dissipated before moving onto another theme. It reemerged about 6 months ago and has been extremely challenging for me. Especially considering she is my best friend and mother to two amazing daughters. I'm constantly looking for physical flaws which i couldn't care less about a year ago. These spikes occur automatically and make question all my choices and has literally shaken my foundation to the core. I realize this is just another theme i have to work through. Because its attacking someone so close I'm working extremely hard at OCD recovery work, to a point I've never worked before. Sometimes our most challenging battles become our greatest victories. Good luck to you and don't let your OCD dictate your values and preferences.

anonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

ROCD intrusive thoughts

no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.

Uypvqcm5

Date posted: 20w

ROCD

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

Elliesmith

Date posted: 19w

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

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