- Date posted
- 24d
Suffering
I’m so sad all the time and struggle with s*icidal ideation because of my ocd,I think about it all the time I’m in so much pain and therapy isn’t helping.
I’m so sad all the time and struggle with s*icidal ideation because of my ocd,I think about it all the time I’m in so much pain and therapy isn’t helping.
I’m rookie of this app from taiwan, and i am suffering from ocd for half year. Most of them is about sth i have done and that may “barely”lead to some tragedy. I knew it barely happened but my mind doesn’t agree with it, my mind always show the most awful results to me, like somebody’s death. And an hour ago I suddenly think what if some day I can’t afford the pain from OCD and choose to s*icide, this thought make me soooo scared, I’m with you, we can get better together. Btw my English may not so good.
Are you doing ERP therapy? This type of therapy can feel like it's not working initially this is usually the brain readjusting. Keep moving forwards no matter how slowly or how small the steps are. Each step gets you closer to recovery. You've got this! If you're concerned about treatment talk to your therapist about it, there maybe something they could help you with. 🙏
@Claire Thompson UK No I’m not doing ERP
@lina_.m Which therapy are you doing CBT?
I want to let you know who ever is reading this that God loves you so much. I understand how hurtful and hard OCD can be, as I go through it as well. Please feel free to vent, whichever you’re comfortable with and what ever is needed or have any questions about the Lord. Your lives are so worthy and you’re important as well as cared for. If you’re alright with it, could I share some scripture with you or recommend. If I could help any of you.
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
My OCD has become so bad and I feel so alone. I have religious OCD (Christianity) and I’ve been doing okay with letting the blasphemous thoughts go in the moment, but I’m so overcome with guilt and shame I can barely function. I can feel okay and hopeful for a few minutes and then I’m reminded of the horrible thoughts and how nothing can take them back and I can’t handle the guilt. I’m becoming a burden to my family and feel so alone. I do not know what to do. Please help.
WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond