Guilt from the Past.

I've had a horrific subtype that has been affecting my day to day life. I think it's snuck in due to good things occurring in my life. If I can't forgive myself for my past, why should others? I'm happy knowing I'm not alone with these thoughts, but knowing it was OCD all along and I could have suffered so much less if I was diagnosed as a child... Decades worth of compulsive checking, thinking I'm worse than a monster... I just want to breathe normally again. I feel guilt with each breath. It's too much.

Monto

Date posted: 6w

Man this is a relatable post.

Generiname

Date posted: 6w

It's comforting knowing I'm not suffering alone. Though I wish we weren't suffering at all. I've done terrible things in my life, but I've grown into a person I'm proud of. Because of that, I judge my past harshly.

mcocd

Date posted: 6w

You are not the only one. I can promise you are not a monster. Remember thoughts are just thoughts. We put this pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but everyone has these sorts of thoughts. They forgive themselves, so we deserve to too. Our heads just generate CRAP sometimes and we are very valid to recognize it as such. I have about 1000999990009 thoughts I wish I could take back, but I never acted on them, and that’s what is important.

Generiname

Date posted: 6w

My problem is is that I did act on my compulsions. I know now it was because of OCD, but the guilt eats me alive and spits nothing but grief out.

Generiname

Date posted: 6w

I'm sorry

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 6w

Hello Generiname, I am glad you sought help and were diagnosed. I see that you are currently struggling with intrusive thoughts and that you feel guilt. It is important when addressing OCD to remember that OCD acts as a false alarm, making a doubt feel like an imminent threat or reality. This alarm makes us take action in an attempt to reduce distress, like checking or ruminating. Rather than engaging in the compulsions, have you tried to sit with the distress? Were you able to let the distress pass? At NOCD we are trained experts in the diagnosis and treatment of OCD and related conditions using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). ERP is the gold standard of treatment for OCD and related conditions, with the better part of the past century's research backing the efficacy of ERP. If you would like more information on OCD and ERP, please visit our website at www.treatmyocd.com. If you are seeking to begin/resume your journey of recovery, you may reach out to our member advocate team at care@nocdhelp.com. I hope this message reaches you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help! Take care, Ian M. Reeder

Generiname

Date posted: 6w

Thank you.

summerloveru...

Date posted: 6w

Dude, so relatable. Sometimes it's so bad that every time my mind is conscious, I'm just thinking about what I've done in the past.

Generiname

Date posted: 6w

I think whilst people's intentions are pure, sometimes people forget that real-event ocd is a thing. There's a reason we feel this guilt, because it happened. Again and again. Now I'm diagnosed I haven't checked once. But by this point the damage has been done and I now suffer from self inflicted, diagnosed PTSD.

emma345

Date posted: 17w

Reocd but actually did something bad

17f I have a lot of events, but my main and my worst one which is absolutely fucking diabolical was done when I was 14 and repeated when I was 16. Everytime I post something about real event ocd here people are like you are probably didn't do anything that bad, and when they hear what I did they are like yeah that's bad. Someone even asked me if I'm autistic cause "it's crazy how you didn't realize that the thing ypu were doing was wrong at this age." And I kinda agree, like it's fucked up It's just that my event is bad. Doesn't mean I don't have real event ocd. You can have a reocd over the event that was bad, it doesn't mean the event wasn't that bad or you don't have recod. It's just people always expect it to be something innocent and it's not Even a healthy person would feel guilty over it, it's just that I had ocd my whole life and it's making the guilt absolutely destructive, like to the point when I sometimes have a hard time breathing when I think about it, I lost more than a year of life to it, almost checked myself out couple of times if I wasn't so scared of pain/failure, the event haunts me in my dreams, it's in my head 24/7 and I will never able to forgive myself. That ocd. But the event itself was bad. So maybe i deserve it.

Sillygoose27

Date posted: 7w

OCD Guilt

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?

Anonymous

Date posted: 9d

Real Event OCD

Currently feeling extremely shameful for something I did in the past. Any advice? I've had periods of coming to terms with it and understanding that it was just a mistake, as no one got hurt, but now it's resurfacing again.

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Guilt from the Past.

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