I have recently had a fall out with my partner about my paranoia .. she is struggling with her mental health as well as looking after her autistic daughter.. what can I do to make her want to stay
There was a study done that revealed being a parent of an autistic child ( depending on what level but especially level 3) is equivalent to the daily stress that a soldier feels being in battle. Imagine having that type of elevated stress everyday. Just something to think about. She likely needs some extra support so definitely keep in mind.
I didn't realise it was that bad... yeh I need to support her
@Anonymous It’s likely the reason why she wants to be closer to her family to get extra support with her daughter .
@Anonymous Yeh I think it is that...im really trying ive wrote her a letter thus morning trying to explain how much her and our family means to us and not to let us all separate
I feel for you. That sounds really tough. It’s clear you care a lot and want to make things right. Maybe right now it’s not about making her stay, but giving her space to want to. She’s going through a lot with her own mental health and caring for her daughter. Let her know you’re there for her without pressure. At the same time, take care of yourself too. Working through your own stuff will help no matter what happens. You’re not alone. I’m here for you❤️
I'm sorry to hear :( We can't force anyone to stay or want to be with us. They will decide that on their own, even if we wish so desperately for them to be with us always. But the only thing we can do is that we can help the situation by showing kindness and being understanding of our partner's needs & seeing their point of view during disagreements. Even getting educated on your partner's mental health and her daughter's- can help you to try to accomodate them in healthy ways
Ive offered to go with her to SEN groups to learn about her daughters condition and understand so I can be more supportive... im doing my best to support her now .maybe it's to late... I really am trying and it's killing me... I haven't eaten or slept since Monday I feel so ill and drained and I cant cope with this feeling and all I want is to make everything better... I love her and the kids so much. I would of ended myself if it wasnt for my little boy living with me full time
@Anonymous That is so kind of you to offer support and try to be there for them. That is an amazing act of care and kindness ❤️ Proud of you for doing that!! :) There’s something else you mentioned that I wanna touch on. Our romantic partners are so important to us. Their families are as well once we also become bonded to them. It’s difficult 100%, but a breakup should not drive someone to kill themselves. People break up all the time and everyone needs to be able to handle that. Our lives shouldn’t depend on our romantic partner. You were born into this world without her and you lived your own life many years before you met her. So you are capable of being single! You will also still have a life after her, god forbid the breakup comes to reality 🙏 I sense that there is something deeper lacking in your lacking to make you feel that way. It sounds like you made this relationship too much of the sole focus of your life. Our lives should be whole on their own and our romantic partners are supposed to be a great addition to it. They are a piece of our lives- not the whole. Maybe you need to make more friends to lean on. Lean on family too if you are able to- spend more time bonding with your son ❤️🩹 Find hobbies (indoors or outdoors) that can distract you and bring you joy. Make a list of goals: traveling the world, excelling in your job and making money, buying a house, going to amusement parks, trying new delicious foods, etc. Buy a cute Labrador retriever puppy for extra company, even! 😄 You also have a son to love for like you said. He needs his dad. His life would be broken apart if you hurt yourself. Don’t let a breakup do that to you. I know how much you care about this person but if you break up, you can heal and be okay on your own first and then you can find another partner after (if you would like). There are 8 billion people in this world :) You have another chance to find the one for you, if anything goes wrong. (Btw I really really do wish for you and your partner to stay together. I would be so happy for that. Im happy that you’re trying your best to support your partner and her child. I’m only writing this for the sole reason of giving you advice that no breakup should be life-ending. I want you to gain your own confidence)
If I give her the space to miss me do you think she will come back... she says she needs to be closer to her family. But we can reconnect wen shes settled.. that gives me dread and hope because of her moving further away from me but maybe there's a light... ive suggested we go for a day out and chat so we can atleast end on a good note to make things easier at the other end... do you think that was wise
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
