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Yes. I hear you and appreciate you sharing your story. ❤️ I also went through a very traumatic medical experience at 14 that I live with daily. I feel like I live in constant fear. Afraid to take risks, to enjoy myself, to form new relationships. My OCD makes this difficult in a similar way like, “I didn’t sleep well it eat good enough that means I’m going to have an seiz***.” “Oh, I COULD be stressed about this really small thing (I’m probably not), so I’m going to have a seiz***.” I feel like I am spending my life paranoid and waiting for the next one. I absolutely relate, you are not alone in this feeling ❤️

I’m one of those 1% type people too. Trauma and OCD like to tell us “these bad things happened in the past, so bad things are always going to happen” and then gear us up for the worst—heightening anxiety and making us miserable. One of my therapists helped me reframe that by thinking, “the worst case scenario has already happened. And I survived! Nothing life can throw at me now is going to be able to break me.” Im sorry you were labeled as the sick kid. That’s really hard. Seriously tho, take a sec to appreciate how tough you are!!

I am so sorry that happened to you. I could not begin to imagine. Catastrophizing is a mechanism to keep you safe. If you think of the possibility you can either figure out how to avoid it or how to be better prepared. Have you had therapy for these obstacles? I believe in your healing 🩷 Also don’t forget, you LIVED through the 1%. You can do hard things!!! You’ve already proved that.

I fully understand how you feel after everything. I grew up as the “medical child” in my family. Constant doctor visits, missed days from school bc of illnesses or appointments, etc. and back in April 2024 I got diagnosed with a rare chronic condition (hypermobility Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) but all throughout my childhood growing up I was bullied for being the “sick kid” at school or told I was faking everything just to get out of school (I wish I had been 🥲). So now I’m constantly questioning my body and my symptoms that occur from my condition especially since it’s a rare and an invisible one. I’m constantly told “well everyone’s in pain you just have to push through it” even when my hip could be on the verge of dislocating. It’s caused me to question everything I do and I have to think about how to explain why I’m feeling the way I am because I’ve never been allowed to just rest because of fatigue there had to be a valid reason or I would be “lazy”. And I fully understand the worrying about the worst that could come and I feel for you🫶🏼