“What if” thoughts

@alan87 My therapist asked me if I saw a guy who was cuter and had the same qualities if I had the chance would I rather be with them and I feel like … I don’t know maybe? It hasn’t happened yet I’m reallt scared

@alan87 Like how does one stay committed and still get attracted to other people when they see them?

@alan87 I am Christian so for me I don’t wanna value looks over something else. I want to value everything else, I don’t know what my reaction would be if I felt attraction to someone other than my boyfriend

@EmmaGrace27 I absolutely relate to this. That is the thing, have the thoughts or feelings of attraction or seeing someone cute, etc are fine so long as you don’t take action on the thoughts. I am Christian as well. The feelings of attraction and looking at other women gives me guilt which I ruminate over and anxiety of feeling needing to confess.

@alan87 I feel bad if I saw a guy who was cute and had the same qualities, and I found him attractive what do I do with that? What if I start to think what if I’d like him more than my boyfriend? But I only want to be with him and grow off that. Deny it ?

@alan87 It makes me feel like I should end things now if that’ll be my reaction

@alan87 It feels like if I see someone very attractive that if I feel some sort of attraction pull that I wanna act on it

@EmmaGrace27 The anxiety and uncertainty of OCD is the part we need to learn to sit with and just let be. As for love, I am learning that love is a choice. Jesus chose to love, he didn’t have to or need to love us. Now of course that is God’s very nature, but he loves unconditionally. Also, the ‘what if’ questions can’t be answered. Focus on being in the present and the here and now with them.

@alan87 That is true I don’t know my reaction. I’m very reserved and into event myself sort of from for in others attractive and it makes me think I’m masking what I reallt want lol. Like if I see a super cute guy I put a mental guard up out of fear for catching feelings

@EmmaGrace27 One thing I have been working on in my therapy (individual therapy, not NOCD) is values. What are my values? I thought I valued looks over anything, but as you get older, you know/learn what is important.

@alan87 Right I’m just sticking to it I’m committed to him I don’t care

@alan87 How do you feel giddy towards your partner ? I feel bad bc I don’t find him super physically attractive but I wand this to grow and I wanna feel head over heels for him. Can this be done?

@EmmaGrace27 I can tell you that I never felt giddy for my wife. To this day I don’t get a giddy feeling. I just feel happy when I do things that make her happy. I chose her as a partner because we are good together. She has qualities that I myself don’t have. We live life together in a healthy way. We don’t always agree on things, but ultimately we have each other’s best interest at heart. She is my best friend. Our wedding day she looked gorgeous. Granted we have put on some weight these years since, but I know her at her best and at her “worst” which still isn’t bad. And every cute girl I see isn’t necessarily going to be interested in me. I have someone who is and said ‘yes’ to me. That’s a win in my book.

@alan87 I feel bad when he’s giddy when he looks at me sometimes I also think it’s reflecting in gratefulness towards him and in what I love and choosing to love and it’ll grow I think. Like I think my attraction to him in all ways will grow if I choose to love

@alan87 that’s what I’m learning is to do things that make him happy and it’ll eventually rub off on me and make me happier because hes happy

@EmmaGrace27 That’s good. God knows what’s in our hearts regardless of our thoughts :)