I am so fucking upset that my OCD makes me feel like I want to defend/sympathize anyone that get's accused of being a pedophile even when there's blatant proof that theyre a creepy piece of shit. I don't want to feel like I have to, I don't wanna feel like I have even a smidgen of sympathy or apologism in me. If someone does creepy pedophile shit and then tries to defend themselves by saying "oh that never happened, all of that was just edgy jokes, it triggers this weird feeling in me when I see all the people rightfully telling that weirdo that "it doesnt seem like jokes and it seems more like you're a fucking freak" and it's a type of feeling that I could only describe as involuntarily morphing in their position and feeling like all the people calling the pedo a pedo will one day do the same for me. It's almost like I wanna defend myself and that feeling kind of projects onto them and it makes me feel like absolute shit because I would NEVERRRRRRRR defend someone like that. I don't even know if this is part of my OCD, this goddamn disorder makes me feel skeptical and doubtful of literally everything and it makes me feel like I'm corroding into a piece of shit human being with nonexistent morals and wacko priorities. Does anyone else feel this? It scares me so much, I would never ever ever defend people like that or try to be on their side or try to justify anything but my brain keeps telling me that I secretly want to or that I secretly am and that what comes out of my mouth is all fabricated shit that I don't really believe in.

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y

I 100% know what you mean. I'm the same

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

It is such a messed up feeling because you can't determine whether it's OCD or something else but it makes you feel like utter GARBAGE and explaining it to a non-sufferer will have them look at you like youre some cowardly lunatic not willing to admit their fucked up morals and they aren't EVEN your morals.

Cheeks

Date posted: 5y

@Vimli Yep. OCD is awful.

Sopphhiiiaa

Date posted: 5y

I feel that way too! you’re the first person i’ve seen that had the same problem as me. like prior to ocd I would have obviously never feel sympathy for pedos but now i’m finding myself feeling sorry for them and defending their actions. but i’m pretty sure this is just ocd scaring me

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

like it's not you actually defending their actions, but you feel like at some point you're going to or that you're secretly doing it, right? IT'S FUCKING HORRIFYING BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER DEFEND OR FEEL SORRY FOR A FUCKING FREAK. I'm not like them and I never will be. They are fully responsible for all their own actions and decisions and I will never feel bad for them because of the shit they do. I'll never be like "they can't help it." They can help it, they just don't want to. They're freaks and I'm so upset that my mind is manipulating me like this.

Sopphhiiiaa

Date posted: 5y

@Vimli no i’m not actually defending them, i’m just worried I will in the future. ocd is weird and manipulative. it’s scary

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