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I’ve been there before. I had those feelings of not wanting to be here. You’re not alone. We have to have faith in Jesus. We have to look to Him for our strength because we know we are far too weak. I know it’s a challenging road but remember you’re not on it alone. I felt so lonely and helpless so many days and nights, but now I understand I’m never alone. I have plenty of people with me and most importantly Jesus is with me.

It definitely is OCD if you’re obsessing over it and doing compulsions 👍 If God is perfect- he knows his intentions behind his creations. If God doesn’t make mistakes like people say, then that means God’s creation of OCD wasn’t a mistake either. Why did he allow OCD? No clue. I don’t know why we were created to suffer… but my point is that God of all people should be understanding of how OCD and intrusive thoughts work and that they’re not our fault. They come to us automatically since that’s how he made us be born. I totally understand where your pain comes from, but it doesn’t make sense for us to blame ourselves for how God made us. That was his design, not ours. I’m sure lots of us wish we could re-create our lives, whether we can could our looks, our mental health, our physical health, our family, what country we were born in, etc. But a lot of that is out of our control. That is God’s planning. All we can do is work on our self-compassion and ERP, which will bring us in another direction towards a better life

Hey. i have the exact same thing you do. intrusive thoughts about God and Jesus. We love them and thats why the thoughts get to them. i know im not helpful but i do know we can get over this with their love and guidance. its a hard journey but i know that their love will triumph all.