ROCD- help please!

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 6w

Yes! It’s a very common thing in ROCD. For my own sake, I blocked or muted people that were not helping my ocd journey whether that was exes, relationship advice accounts, mental wellness accounts, you name it! I get confused easily with too much advice so I mostly rely on my therapists and trusted loved ones who are nonjudgmental and respect my boundaries and love. (Which means no people that are like “ugh just break up with him.” None of that is helpful at all and very black and white.) Really tried to limit my social media usage in general. Journaled SOOO much everytime I had a flare so I didn’t have the need to confess to my bf everytime I had a thought. Be careful with that though, sometimes they did lead to more spirals. Does your partner know that you have ocd? Because if he doesn’t or isn’t too aware of what it is, I’d start with education rather than talking to him about these feelings. I did that and now when I feel the need to talk about it with my bf he doesn’t take them personally :)

M_8

Date posted: 6w

@buggyladyxo Yes he knows I have OCD and I’ve talked about past obsessions I’ve had with him. and when I get these flares now I tell him I’m feeling very anxious but I never go into detail. I really want to be open and tell him though because he’s a really important person in my life and I want to be as open as possible. Also THANK YOU for saying these thoughts are normal with ROCD. I’ve been worrying that maybe it’s not OCD even though it really feels like it. And thank you!!!

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 6w

@Mdlga I’d say, as long as you are doing it with love, the best intentions, and making sure you use I statements for your own feelings and worries, you are golden!!! It was so scary for me, but once it happened, it was so worth it 💛 it may be clunky and may feel really tense and emotional in your own body, but you can do it!! I really believe in you 💛

M_8

Date posted: 6w

@buggyladyxo Thank you so much this is a huge help and made me feel a lot better with my own thoughts!

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 6w

@Mdlga Of course and good luck!! If you need someone to talk to after, I’m here :)

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 6w

Also, congratulations to you both!!!! Thats so exciting 💛⭐️💛

Anonymous

Date posted: 18d

religous

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Rocd -feeling like relief would be to breakup

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months but seriously talking for around 8. I have never met anyone so perfect and amazing. I love him so much. Into our talking stage i kissed my ex situation-ship and ever since have been dealing with the consequences. He forgave me and gave me another chance and i have shown him how much i care every day since. He is over it now since it was only in our talking stage. I have had thoughts with my ex name, thoughts i hate my boyfriend, always constantly thinking if im bored, if i love him. It switches day by day and impacts my life constantly. I don’t feel like myself at all. Some days i can’t do it. I just want to be happy and secure with him. my thought from the past few days is that i want to be single and hook up with other people. I don’t actually want to hook up with others but i feel so terrible and guilty. Does anyone else deal with this? Sometimes i can’t tell the difference between my real thoughts and the fake ones. I have been debating breaking up with my boyfriend because i feel like it’s best but i would be so sad. He is perfect and i see myself marrying him.

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16w

Need advice!!

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

Relationship OCD

mason sweeney

Date posted: 5w

ROCD

I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD- help please!

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community