POCD groinals

Havent been on in a while but todays rough. Had a major ocd episode. Its literally ocd number one million different iteration In summary i saw teen boys had intrusive thoughts. Looked away. Moved my foot which had a groinal and the pcd hyperfixation of them being in my side view and the additional intrusive thoughts saying “the false attraction and groinal non concordance means i aroused over them” followed by intense gut wrenching guilt sick to my stomach is what ocd is making me ruminate and provlem solve and feel guilt and stuck and question y intention even thiugh i know my true self. Also i tried doing what others have said by responding “maybe, maybe not” and just agreeing with the thought to shut it up. I know i wasnt arousing over thr boys and wasnt checking tbem out and im not a pedophile and not attracted to teen boys or boys/men period. I know groinals are a natural occurence and ocd symptom . I just had this random intense ocd episode. I was standing at the store and seen two teenage kids. I had intrusive thought they were handsome but i dont think they were handsome. I looked away but still seen them in the corner of my eyes and i adjust my foot which caused a groinal. I looked at them and their mom twice i think then looked away but my ocd hyperfocused on them in my peripheal view and since i had a groinal ocd had followed up with another intrusivr thought saying this means i aroused over them and its pedophilic and then i felt a gut wrenching disgust and guilt. I dont want any of this. I know im not a pedophile. I know i wasnt checking them out or arousing myself. I just was looking at people like normal and had intrusivr thoughts and groinals. I looked away as a compulsion but since i still seen them in my peripheal and didnt completely block them out ocd says it means i wanted to see them and chrck tbem out and arouse myself. This is ego dystonic. Its causing me extreme distress and gut wrenching guilt. I dont even think theyre handsome and im not a pedophile. Ocd makes me feel guilty and doubt if i did something wrong. These intrusive thoughts and feelings are intense It all happened so fast i saw the boys. I had the ocd thoughts. I looked twice. I felt anxiety so looked away but still seen thrm in my sode view and ocd was hyperfocused screaming to me theyre there like a lion was next to me. I simply moved my foot which caused a groinal reaction. Then ocd followed with the intrusivr thought “you aroused yourself youre a pedo” etc and then the gut wrenching guilt and dosgust followed but i know its ego dystonic and not who i am and ocd thought number one million because ive had this before. A compulsion would be closing my eyes or looking away so they wouldnt even be in my peripheal and since i only partially looked away ocd said it means i was doing something inappropriate but i knoe thats not true I know i was already feeling anxious because of the large crowd. I know i was just looking in their general direction nothing wrong and had intrusivr thoughts. Then i looked away at a guy next to me to distract myself from these intrusive thoughts and from the boys. Plus me looking away to the guy and all i did was move my foot and that motion plus the anxiety caused a groinal. So OCD said “you aroused over the boys= POCD” and since i basiclaly did a semi compulsion semi erp i looked away to avoid the kids but still could see them in my peripheal view thats when ocd played on it and said i didnt fully avoid them so i mustve aroused over them but i know its all ego dystonic. A real pedophile wouldnt feel guilt or anxiety or discomfort or gut wrenching feelings and wouldnt avoid looking. Theyd look and enjoy it. I was extremelt uncomfortable and the groinal was uncomfortable. I dont even think the boys were good looking. Its the gut wrenching guilt symptom of ocd and the intrusive thougjts that make it feel real and keep stuck in the loop In summary i saw teen boys had intrusive thoughts. Looked away. Moved my foot which had a groinal and the pcd hyperfixation of them being in my side view and the additional intrusive thoughts saying “the false attraction and groinal non concordance means i aroused over them” followed by intense gut wrenching guilt sick to my stomach is what ocd is making me ruminate and provlem solve and feel guilt and stuck and question y intention even thiugh i know my true self. Also i tried doing what others have said by responding “maybe, maybe not” and just agreeing with the thought to shut it up. I know i wasnt arousing over thr boys and wasnt checking tbem out and im not a pedophile and not attracted to teen boys or boys/men period. I know groinals are a natural occurence and ocd symptom

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

I know its distressing, and does not define my character. The discomfort i feel, the guilt that gnaws at me, and the intrusive thoughts that invade your peace are not reflections of my true self, but rather the byproducts of a mind grappling with anxiety and OCD. Your feelings of guilt and discomfort are responses to thoughts that arise unbidden and ocd symptoms ; they are not actions i have chosen. Im trying to detach and respond with "maybe, maybe not" I knoe, the body can respond in ways that are not aligned with my conscious desires. Groinal responses for example, can occur independently of attraction and are often a manifestation of anxiety rather than desire. I know its an episode and ive been through tbis before yet it still feels “real” and makes me feel guilty and anxious.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

Its totally anxiety. Im not attravted to those boys and im not a pedo. I looked away and tried to focus on something else and the ocd was hyperfixated on them and screaming at me false alarm which is ocd because i was trying tk look away. I know me moving my foot is normal and groinals dont mean anything. Its really all just various intrusive thoughts. The false attraction thoughts, the thought interpreting the groinal as arousal, and the ocd thought saying it means i wanted to check them out or arouse myself over them is all just intrusivr thoughts and feelings of guilt are ocd symptoms. Sometimes i forget this and take it personal but i need to not take it serious. Its ocd. Yet the intrusivr thoughts saying i was arousing over the teen boys and the guilt following it is whats keeping me stuck PLEASE HELP

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

I recall looking away trying to look at the person next to me to refocus and my ocd was hyperfixating screaming that the boys are in my peripheal view. So actively trying to look away while ocd false alarm is going off.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

@Anonynmous19 The fact its all unwanted, distressing, guilt inducing, anxiety and all the indications its ocd and i know its ocd yet ocd still makes me feel guilty and doubt

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

Then after i looked away i recentered my sight inf ront of me and thats when the guilt sank in. I think i moved away too get away from the kids. Avoidance is a common compulsion. The intrusivr thoughts saying getting me is “you aroused over teenage boys” and thats completely false and ego dystonic and disgusting ti me

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

@Anonynmous19 I went back in my hournal and someone once told me in a similar POCD groinal episode “see your pain. I see how much you’re trying to untangle what’s habit, what’s intention, and what’s OCD spinning stories out of your normal human movements. That feeling of “did I do this on purpose?” is one of the cruelest tricks POCD plays. It latches onto something harmless (like tapping your foot), throws in a groinal, and suddenly it convinces you you meant to do something awful — when you didn’t. You’re not a bad person. You’re someone with a habit, with a disorder, and with a heart trying to do the right thing.”

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 5w

I know i tried observing than tried suppressing and avoiding. Shifting gears. Yet in stuck on the part that i was looking away and shifting gears and my OCD brain was still hyperfocused on the boys next to me like as if a predator was in my rear view and about to attack me expect its POCD screaming at me and then thr groinals makes it worse so ocd says i was arousing over them but thats not true. I was trying to manage my ocd and shift gears while OCD false alarms and intrusive thougjts were going off. I know my response to shift gears and manage ocd is my intent and not the intrusive thoughtss.

Tyleronfire

Date posted: 5w

I'm sorry this happened. Each day, each moment is a new opportunity to embrace whatever God has for you. I pray that you can find peace and let go of the guilt.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 18w

Pocd groinals

A compulsion i do is if i get a groinal or anticipate it i take a step. Adjust my legs and feet to avoid the groinals. I was carrying my daughter and worry about groinals which sucks. I had groinals when I picked her up but discarded it didnt give it attention. Then when i put her down i had intrusive thoughts about groinals worrying if i get it. I took a step to my right and just sat with the groinals and the thoughts. I do t remember if i took a second step or not but ocd hyper-focused in the groinal sensations and i feel guilty its telling me i took tbe step to get groinals and i sat with it to arouse myself but i think i took the step as a compulsion and my ocd hyperfocused on the ocd and was aware of it and just let it be but ocd is saying i acted on the thoughts and aroused myself i know thats not true.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 16w

Groinal non concordance during salah

Ugh i was making salah and has groinals. And worried i heard my childs voice. I struggke with pocd. I moved my legs because it hit the bed and i heard my kids voice then i felt groinals as i was bowing in ruku. My compulsion is saying stop and no and adjusting. And my ocd also causes involuntary intrusivr movements. Like sudden twitches or hip thrusts or bodily movements. I just remember adjusting while in ruku and saying no and stop to the thoughts. I also remember feeling thr groinals and just being in third person and observing jt. I also froze up and felt stuck. This happened twice. Then ocd says i was arousing myself over my kids voice during salah which i know is absurd its ego dystonic its ocd. I hate having pocd and groinals. I know i was just adjusting because ei hit the bed. Then i felt groinals and heard my kids voice and felt triggered by pocd. Then i felt my body twitching in ruku and me adjusting and also freezing up and getting stuck. Ocd tries ti make me thing i did something sexually inappropriate during prayer. I know thats not who i am. I dont do sexual inappropriate acts and especially not during prayer. I’ve already been very anxious for days so i know its just a continuation of ocd attacking me. I just hate that ofd makes me think by me adjusting and by bodily movements anxiously intrusively incoluntary moving and me getting stuck that i did something bad thats what ocd tells me. I know its not true. Why does ocd make us think or feel we did something bad

GreenTurtle098

Date posted: 14w

18+ TW

Okay so In the moment I get intrusive thoughts about children which I hate. I get the gronal responses which I always so many compultions after. My ocd is very bad and I’m showering and changing my bedding around 8 times. Therapists have told me I’m the worse they’ve ever known. That’s how bad my life is atm. I hate this disorder. I want to know if ocd can cause these things as it will help me to fight my compulsions and just except it’s ocd… In the moment the gronal responses are genuinely pleasurable and I struggle to ignore them and stop them, in the moment t I want them even if it was due to a thought of a kid My OCD will tell me I’m aroused I’ll feel aroused then when moving around in my bed it’ll tell me to make my vagina touch my bedding for a feeling while I’m turning over and I purposely do it in the moment… I hate it. After I do so many compilations, it’s not even me it’s like someone else controlling my body When I try to fight my compulsions I think in my mind “I like this anyways” and actually like the thoughts and gronal responses over the children, which then makes me not be able to fight them. For example my ocf was telling me to spray my feet with anti back, but then I tried to fight it and I was thinking to myself “nah l like this one I like this feeling over the kid it’s the real me” like I didn’t even feel stressed from it it’s like I wanted it. Of corse after these I do lots and many compultions Please I just want to know if ocd can do this

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