- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I do too. I recently heard someone on the OCD Stories podcast say that he knew he was really sick with OCD when he got to the point that he wasn’t even trying to hide his rituals. He didn’t care who watched. I think it’s important for us to know that it can get that bad, which is why it is so crucial to work toward recovery. These compulsive behaviors should not control us. We deserve more fulfilled lives than that.
If you don’t mind my asking (I sometimes don’t know if I’m offending someone) what kind of rituals can you do to stop the thoughts. I’ve just never heard of this and it seems like it may help me so if you feel comfortable doing so can you explain yours to me or give an example? Or is there a website or podcast that can explain it
I know! It’s just so hard to not let them control me.
By rituals I mean... the things I do to stop my obsessions..... such as I’m afraid something is going to happen to my brother or sister therefore I have these crazy things I have to do and for some reason my mind wants me to think I rather something happen to my sister than my brother.... which is not true, I love them the same and do not want anything to happen to them, but because my mind makes me feel this way.... something I have to do is.... my feet cannot be pointing towards my brothers room, instead they have to be angled at a picture of my sister.... I know, it’s crazy! Or like when I go to lay down, I have to imagine I am my sister while laying down, by me imagining this it stops my thoughts but I have to do it just right..... I don’t know if these are really rituals I just have always called them that
I totally understand
And you aren’t crazy. I also have worries about terrible things happening to my sisters and brother and then I imagine them hanging off a cliff and I can only save one and what would I do and my ocd tells me I want to save one of them because I hate the other two but it’s not true because I love them all equally and I think mine is a direct result of the fact that the sister my ocd never saves is the one who lives in another continent
I understand how you feel!
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.
I don't really know if it's OCD, but lately I've been thinking a lot and in a very obsessive way that every single one of my actions, words or even thoughts will affect on how God will make decisions about my life. For example, if I lie to someone or yell at them out of anger, God will make happen something bad to me as a "punishment". I know it might seem silly, but it really really freaks me out sometimes... Does anyone feel the same? And if so, do you do something in particular to feel better? Thanks for your understanding❤️
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