Deleted post.

i don’t think it’s about figuring it out but more so just making peace with the fact that those thoughts will linger and choosing to react to them in a positive manner, that’s what’s kinda helping me atleast

Yes sometimes I even feel like I’m faking having it after 15 years of struggling

It's a way of thinking that has carved neural pathways into your brain. The closest thing we can do is make those pathways redundant. They'll always be there but as long as you keep on top of it with everything you learn in therapy, they'll become obsolete. That's as close to and as good as a cure you'll get. You need to retrain your conditioned way of thinking and truly believe in it. You'll need to prove to your mind that the new way of thinking is the correct way, not just think about it. It gets easier the more you do jt

Sometimes even though we know its just a trick. The panic and overwhelm that come with that thought makes us its the only way to get rid of the panic is by engaging into the compulsion. And doubting if it's OCD. For example its not like a physical illness that you can have and take a scan or whatever they do and physically see it. It is mental so you can't actually see it so it makes us doubt things. A stressful event happens then ounce its over the relief is so good that your brain 🧠 kinda gets addicted to the relief which gives you dopamine and seterinin your brain then try to make you happy by making you stressed first (intrusive thought) and then relieved (compulsion) to give you relief/dopamine and seterinin. If that makes any sense Also this is just what my therapist told me so sorry if I mucked up

I get you and I have often wondered these things too. I can say that following book gave me more insight and understanding I recommend it: Needing to know for sure - Sally Winston and Martin Seif I have read it 5 times and I return to it often.