I feel like I've been doing good with trying to get better. Sticking to therapy as much as I can (with ups and downs). But I just feel somehow more blue than ever. Anyone else feel like that? My self talk is such a drag. Im trying to shake it.
dude I have like the exact same experience. my ocd has been much more manageable lately but my depression has come back full force. it seems like when one gets better the other gets worse. my depression has been nonexistent for the last few months but my ocd has been hell. now that my anxiety is down my depression is definitely hitting me more. im really not sure which ones worse at this point. good luck mate.
@Killian666 Medication😍
@slippery_salad prozac saving my ass fr i think id actually be cooked wo it
@Killian666 Oh ya you would. Sitting with pure dread is NOT easy at all. I did it for 3 months and Ill tell you what, I missed class, didnt eat, etc. Dread is like emotional cancer. Medication is like chemical Jesus haha
@slippery_salad before I was on it i was in ocd hell for months. I couldn't think abt anything other than my feelings of going fucking insane 24/7. I would've lost it by now wo the prozac. I used 2 have panic attacks almost every day now I only have maybe 1 a week on a bad week
Are you in therapy with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy? If so, please know that recovery is messy, no linear. You'll have good days and bad. The best thing to do is stick with the OCD therapy and look at the sum of the whole. Celebrate how better of you are now, than when you began therapy. Hope this helps.
Thanks to you all. I am in therapy with a therapist through Nocd, so I feel like I'm getting the help I need. She's great. I just have always struggled with depression to be honest. Maybe now with a lot of my usual coping rituals and conclusions gone im having some new backlash. Like a lot of us, I think I used completions as a way to feel worthy of my life, or like, like I'm accomplishing something. Never tried medication before, although a few therapists have suggested trying.
I didn't use meds, almost did. My therapist said about 60%of her clients use it. Based on everything I have read on this board, it works well when combined with OCD-ERP therapy, but has only marginal improvement without it.
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
Lately, my mood shifts so frequently. A couple of minutes ago, I got triggered and decided that instead of doing a compulsion, I'd write in my journal (since I haven't done that in a while). But after writing not even half a page... I'm okay? Well, sorta! 😭 I'm experiencing a resurgence in old obsessions, which is disappointing. A couple of weeks back, I was doing a lot better, but now it's just one thing after another. Really wish therapy was more affordable. I'm already seeing my psychiatrist, but she wants me to see a specialist as well. When I think about living with this for the rest of my life, I can get a little emotional. I know it'll get easier to manage as time passes, and it might not even affect me in the future, but right now...? It's a lot of work I'll need to do to overcome this. I'm willing to do it, but I get discouraged at times... But that's enough of my little vent! I hope anyone who reads this is doing okay. Hang in there 🤍
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭
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