How do people with ROCD deal with the guilt? I recently started ERP but feel so guilty sometimes when I talk to him or think about him knowing I’m stuck dealing with these thoughts. It hurts me so bad because I love him more than anything in the world but my OCD keeps trying to make me think of leaving him or hurting him.
It’s so, so hard. Especially at the start of ERP. All I can say is after a while you just notice the guilt instead of feeling consumed by it. Little by little, the guilt lessens and all of it becomes less scary.
I think something else that’s helpful is reminding yourself that you have OCD, and people with OCD has a “rip in their screen” - meaning, people without OCD also get thoughts you might experience, but their mental filter either blocks these from getting any deeper into their minds or just allows them to move on quickly. OCD brains don’t have as easy of a time with this and it’s why we get stuck and feel so guilty. So I think reminding yourself of this and recognizing that thoughts are just thoughts can be helpful. Rooting for you!
@Mjo123 This is really helpful! Thank you for this!
The only thing that helps me is reminding myself that OCD preys on what we hold most dear. If I am this upset about something, it only means I care deeply and I shouldn’t have to suffer for that. It can be hard to remind myself of these things without compulsively reassuring myself, so I make it a point to only remind myself of this once and then do my best to redirect/do something positive for myself or someone else
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!
My ROCD is at an all time high right now. I have an appointment set up, but the wait is awful. My husband found one of my erp exercises where I write a sentence about him maybe not being the right partner. I had forgotten to throw it away. Of course it made him sad. I feel so ashamed and like I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. The sad part is, the thought comes,"if he ends it, at least I might get some relief". I feel like the worst wife.
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