Questions for my Christian ocd sufferers

I put a trigger warning because I will be discussing themes of end of times. I feel like I'm not following God's will. God knows ultimately that things were going to speed up end of times wise. A few months ago, I had a random thought to call someone I had affected with past sin and apologize to him although I did not know he was there, my sin affected him. I know he deserves an apology, but I chalked it up to ocd and treated it as such for months fast forward to now I feel like I'm completely against God. Horrifying. It's a complex situation I caused and therefore though I know he deserves an apology I'm really scared as I created a mess of things. I've been praying that God help certain things come to fruition so I could be exposed and help minister to others if that's what He's calling me to do but no answer. Instead horrible images and thoughts and feelings of doom. I see signs to apologize everywhere. I'm at my wits end. Because I tend to get ahead of myself I asked two family members and they said don't and then I see things that say Though people in your life mean well, don't go based on what they say only what God says. I tell God to do His will and I'll follow, do you think He'll listen. I even told Him I straight up don't want to do it, not because He doesn't deserve one, but because last time I apologized to someone else I didn't do it right and it was messy. I feel so evil, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I also remember looking up morbid things for what???? Only to be disturbed pray about it and leave by why search it up again? I also fantasized alot about guys I've been single forever, late 20s now, I'm trying to go to church and my crush is there and I try to stop thinking about him because I know it's delusional but the thoughts don't leave. I'm so tired I want to stop but stop what? Living? I want to stick to God as close as possible. I'm going crazy.

G C

Date posted: 4w

I also feel like I can’t even do daily things because of the end times and the posts I see everyday that people have got visions and the sense of urgency and yeah I know it’s true but it sends me off the earth I get so much anxiety then I always question my salvation and I don’t know what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: 4w

Although I feel against God I still praise Him, my thoughts be attacking me from all sides and I still find myself uttering God is good and He will reign and He is my only hope. That's all can do while I wait and pray that I'm not wrong. All I can offer is a prayer and I recommend to have Him as your only hope. No matter how bad your thoughts get. Repent once and give it to Him.

G C

Date posted: 4w

@Anonymous Do you ever feel like your repentance isn’t enough

Anonymous

Date posted: 4w

@G C I think it is but I'm convinced me hiding it or putting it all past me is me living of that sin

julianofnorwich

Date posted: 4w

I understand your thoughts been there. Called a bunch of people to confess and apologize a lot. Worried about end times. What I learned is God is committed to your wholeness. Meaning you being well, happy, at peace. Some people don't believe that but I have come to believe that. So all these worries about being out of God's will are not from Him, because His will is always that you get better from OCD. He is For us getting well!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4w

Can you elaborate your experience a bit if your comfortable

julianofnorwich

Date posted: 4w

@Anonymous It's so much to say lol! Basically tried to keep a clean slate my confessing any perceived insult, bad thought, or slight to a bunch of people at my college and church group. Wrote many lists of my sins to confess. Confessed some weird stuff and made a lot of people uncomfortable. Worried that I wasn't doing God's will in everything: eating the wrong food, going to the wrong dining hall, not praying long enough or reading enough Bible. The grace of God intervened many times to help me know that WASNT the voice of God telling me to do those things. But I still didn't get diagnosed until my late twenties. And now treatment until recently.

G C

Date posted: 4w

I always get scared I’m not doing Gods will and spiral over end time themes quite often and feelings of doom it’s so scary

Anonymous

Date posted: 4w

Girl forreal but it's like I actually am a horrible person I think though I apologized in 2020 but now it's like details I purposefully left out I did it messy if God had led me to do it wouldn't I have done it better. I wanted justice to be served but instead it was treated like it was nothing and i just chose to be complicit??? Like what am I doing???? Why am I so horrible?? Why won't God expose me??? Why won't He talk to me? No dreams, no talking, only voices in my head that I feel I cause to sink myself into confusion so that I don't have to be obedient. I'm stuck.

G C

Date posted: 4w

@Anonymous Yeah it’s hard. I feel like I can never just be still in his presence

jesus.is.fre...

Date posted: 5w

CHRISTIANS WITH OCD PLS HELP HELP HELP

I dont want this anymore. I can't do this every day, 24 hours a day. I even have nightmares of it. I feel bullied by my own mind. I am convinced it's a demonic spirit, or a stronghold. I am not sure. Whatever God is speaking to me I'm not getting it. I feel sick and depleted. I am afraid of loosing my teeth or something because of grinding so hard in my sleep. I gain weight even though I'm eating right and taking steps purely from stess; I never knew a person could be so stressed. My eyes are twitching, my skin is horrible, my thoughts never stop. I have intrusive thoughts of "giving my ..... to ". I'm not going to fill in the blanks because my mind won't let me. I dont understand what God wants and what He is saying to me. Does anyone else with Religious OCD experience the same thing? I bring this to Christ daily but I'm so so desperate and alone and scared. My whole body is in pain from stress, like it's clenched. I know Christ is in control, but dear God in Heaven just answer me already. Set me free. I'm turning 22 in a week. God just set me free.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5w

My mind seems to be imploding in on itself

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....

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Questions for my Christian ocd sufferers

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